My girl and I have been together almost 4 years and she has bothered me about getting married for at least a year. This is by far the most important girl I have ever been with (I'm 27) I love her to death. Now, just 2 days ago she actually got on her knee with a ring and asked me to marry her. I said yes and we went and had a great night. The next day, she tells me that she had slept with my friend one drunk night, after he tried to convince her that she needs to be with him and travel the world. The reason she gave is that she was so confused and worried that I would never ask her to marry me. The pain of thinking of her with this other guy is extremely hard to deal with, but she has begged me to not break it off, and told me she would never drink again. What should I do, she cheated on me, but it is a girl I don't think I will ever find another one like again.
2006-11-30 17:59:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do what your heart tells you
2006-11-30 18:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if these ladies answering your questions would be so patient if a the genders were reversed. They'd be saying forget that bum. Look, I believe in forgiveness but this is crazy. She's pressuring you into marriage and sleeps with your friend. She doesn't deserve a medal for telling you about it, she's gets a medal for keeping it in her pants. She hasn't taken responsibility for it either. It was b/c she was drunk and it was your fault for not purposing sooner, your friend talked her into it, she was confused. What, she doesn't have a mind of her own? She doesn't need to swear off drinking, she needs to stop being a s l u t. I'm know this may be brutal but it's true. If you cave on this, what will you stand for? Break up and hope to God you don't find another one like her. You'd be better off.
2006-11-30 18:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hindsight is always 20/20. I'm sure you love this girl, but saying you can't find anyone like her is wrong, she cheated on you and with your friend. A lot of people use the "i was drunk excuse."
1st thing you have to do is ask yourself can you trust her. That is one of the most important factors in a relationship. If you can't well then I'm sorry to say but i think you know your answer. If you can forgive her, good for you, you need to talk to her about it ask her any questions you need to.
good luck.
2006-11-30 18:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so hard to say. I kind of feel the same way. I have been with a guy for 5 years and found out he cheated on me. I love him to death and can't picture my life with out him. At the same time if he did it once who's not to say he wouldn't do it again. A good quality to possess if forgivness!! I think I have come to forgive him, but I will never forget it and that is bad because everytime we fight I throw it in his face and that is wrong. Just make sure if you decide to stay with her, you have REALLY forgiven her and are not just scared to lose her.
2006-11-30 18:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by RachelSusan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mena you don't think you will ever find one like her again? It's like saying you will never find someone that will cheat on me again, I really need to keep this one. Doesn't make sense to say that.
People just don't sleep with someone else because of drinking (true feelings do come out when you drink, I believe that) nor do people sleep with someone else when they are in love.
But... if you really love her and think you can trust her then marry her. But I would definitely NOT forgive my friend. That is crossing the line in friendship.
If you feel you can't trust her then you eventually the trust will give away and your relationship will NOT last, trust me it's happened to me.
But to say you won't find someone else is crazy, your young. There is always someone else and people whom are FAITHFUL at that.
Good luck!
2006-11-30 18:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by LC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump the whore. Anyone who cheats in a relationship does not deserve a second chance. She did it once and she will do it again. I suggest that you move on with your life and trust me, you will find another woman who is even better than she was, and also one that will love you, not the one she is with. I promise you will look back and take this as the best advise you ever got. The slut does not deserve someone like you.
2006-11-30 18:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jack Knauf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying...you snooze you loose. You should never have strung her along for that length of time. She must have really loved you to put up with it for so long. Maybe you should be apologizing to her. Your friend must have known what a special person she is and also realized that she was to good of a person to wait on you forever. Forgive her and get your head out of the sand. You brought that on yourself.
2006-11-30 18:20:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save yourself a ton of trouble ahead. If there is no trust in a marriage relationship then what is there? Once a cheat always a cheat. I say dump her and find yourself a better partner. While you're at it, dump your friend as well.
2006-11-30 18:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by TheGoodLife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty tough. but if you love her enough.. and if you think that you won't be bothered with what she did for the rest of your lives together, then go, continue what you have with her. it's really up to you if you can live with what she had done or if you would be able to get over it. coz if u're still together, and you always bring up the topic if ever you have a fight, then your relationship won't be as good anymore and eventually it will lead to a very messy break up.
2006-11-30 18:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by istin_16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugghhh! Why did she tell you? Seems like it did more harm than good. Anyway, you just have to be honest with yourself first. Can you really forgive her and put it behind you and vow never to throw it in her face ever again?? If so, marry her.
2006-11-30 18:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll either have to live with what she did, or move on. That's your choice. Is she still friends with this guy? A girl who is hoping to get married doesn't screw her boyfriend's friend, but you're the one who has to choose to live with her- or not.
Let's hope you don't find another one like her!
2006-11-30 18:06:36 · answer #11 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋