My exboyfriend is a noncostdial parent to my child?

Question

He was in prison for 2years for a felony and never helped out with child support and now hes working and child support is taking his money, he told my child that i was stealing his money. He has her every other weekend from 6:00 to 6:00. That is by court rules. He has always been aggressive towards me. Yesterday he called and wanted on a friday that is my friday and i told him no and i told him we have to go by the court rules and he go smart with me and told me to shove it up my a**. I am afraid that he might get worse and more aggressive what can I do

I do not argue with him I do just hang up I am preganet right now so i do see my self a lot smarter then him. My daughter is 8 and she knows what child support is.

Answer 1

If he ever threatens you with bodily harm or anything, file for a restraining order or protective order. Given his criminal history, it may be possible for him to only be allowed court supervised visitation of the child. You were right to demand that he only see the child during the court oredered visitation. Do not feel one bit guilty about that. As for the money, if the child is old enough to listen to what he says, the child is old enough to listen to what you say as well. Tell the child that the money is what he is required to pay for supporting his child and it is not stolen, but is his responsibility to pay so you can feed the child. That is honest. Don't bad-mouth the father to the child. Just state the facts without emotion. Kids are pretty smart and can put it together. :o)

Do be careful. You might consider making sure you have good locks on your home and keep it locked all the time to protect yourself. The law is on your side, so stick to it. Don't play his game. I told my ex that I wasn't his wife anymore and didn't have to fight with him, but that he could contact my attorney and/or the state child support office. They get paid to deal with him so I don't have to. You don't have to fight with your ex either.

If he ever threatens you bodily in any way.... take legal action immediately. Do not hesitate to call the police and file a protective order. We all have heard the horror stories of what twisted men do to women they supposedly "loved" at some point. Be careful and use wisdom.

Best Wishes,

Sue

Answer 2

Cases like this kill me. It breaks my heart to see a parent in fear for their child from another parent. Bottom line.... he asked for the child on a day the Judge said it is YOUR day. (PERIOD).

Now...will he take the child and harm her or you? I can't answer that.

It amazes me that convicted felons get unsupervised visits at all. If I was a Judge, they wouldn't. Cons, ex felons, know how to play games. Sometimes those games can get dangerous.

Give him his time only. Don't bend, yield or act scared when you speak with him. MOST importantly don't be aggressive towards him either. There is no reason to stir up the pot. I don't care what he says, do NOT give him control of your emotions or actions. IF he leaves you a threatening e-mail, voice-mail or letter, KEEP IT. ALWAYS RECORD.

FURTHER, I recommend seeking an attorney to take him to court for supervised visits for at least a year. Maybe that will get his attention.

Good Luck and Take Care

Answer 3

Is this guy still on probation? What are the terms of his probation? If he is still on probation I would discuss with an attorney the possibility of the attorney discussing what is happening with his probation officer. Not you, an attorney representing you. His probabtion officer is probably the best defensive weapon you may have. That probation officer holds this jerks immediate future in his/her hands. If he doesn't want to go in front of any judge for any reason he would be wise to back off of tormenting you.

I would not wait on the TPO. I would get it now. Your writing down in a journal is a great idea but you need more than that. In a court of law your journal is only hearsay. Your word against his. He may be a convicted felon but you would still have to have undeniable proof of his aggressive actions toward you. Get that Temporary Protection Order if for no other reason to start a legal paper trail.

You need to have a heart to heart with your daughter and possibly include a third (unbiased) party such as a counselor. You may know your daugher better than any counselor but your view of the whole situation isn't going to be as objective as the counselors. Chances are your daughter loves her Dad and may be feeling abit pulled in both directions. You need to take the feeling of responsibility of that off her shoulders. You and your daughter need to set up a few rules and a gameplan in case dear old Dad decides he ever wants to take matters into his own hands and possibly walk off with her. Your own little secret code that she could give you on the phone if she is feeling threatened. A certain phrase that tells you something is wrong.

This idea may be a bit extreme but there are ways to keep your daughter safe by placing a gps tracking device in a watch, a locket, a ring. Something that she could wear that would not draw enough attention by her Dad but give you the peace of mind of knowing at any given point in time she could be found. I know it sounds extreme but at least think about it and maybe even do a bit of research on it just in case. If it were my daughter and with what you have told us I would go to any length to make sure my child was as safe as possible.

Answer 4

Very good suggestions above. Also, try to have someone else (a friend or family) present when he comes to pick up your daughter - that way, you have a witness if he does become abusive (physically or verbally). The important thing for you is to make sure everything is documented so that, when it does come time for you to bring this to court, you'll have evidence and witnesses backing up your side of the story.

Answer 5

journal, journal , journal!! Keep tract of EVERYTHING!!!! no matter how big or little. If it comes to evidence or proof, a consistant record will help you out. Every conversation, every contact, EVERYTHING!! Good and bad....at least for a while...that way it shows the courts(if it comes down to that) that you are truthful and not just writing about bad things or making things up. Write down dates and times as well. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 6

spanking is a kind of purely punishment for little ones which have finished something beside the point or unacceptable. i have been spanked and deserved the. and not using a spanking childrens might want to proceed to do what they did. now through a spanking, i'm no longer speaking about truly beating up a baby, by way of the indisputable fact that isn't any longer perfect.

Answer 7

ex boyfriend not ex husband!!!!! these things happen when you want to play house