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I know this question sounds crazy. But I have a problem with boundries. is it wrong to demand what kind of respect you want? for instance if you have friends who care about you, but make jokes you find insulting or rude. or a ex boyfriend you know deep down cares about you, but who makes really immature jokes that you have grown out of. Im much older then he is, and some of my friends. But even though I know sometimes their comments are because of their age, does that mean I have to accept them? We are all in our twenties. Early or late, I dont like certain ways of speaking to me. Im scared to give boundries now, because I know it will be hard for everyone to accept. I know you will say if they really care about you they will... but thats not always true. people dont like change period. advice needed. again

2006-11-30 16:26:33 · 5 answers · asked by Jai247 1 in Family & Relationships Friends

5 answers

Generally, you EARN respect, but DEMAND courtesy.

If there are (and SHOULD be!) boundaries, you should insist they be followed...and if they're not, you go to the "referee" (boss, supervisor, etc.) and politely insist they be enforced.

2006-11-30 16:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by blktiger@pacbell.net 6 · 1 0

You can wish for respect. You can expect to be respected. But you can't make someone respect you. However you can have an influence on gaining respect from your friends.

First of all, please realize not everyone live by the same rules as you do. So you will have to be the police of your own life. You can make all the rules in the world, but what good are rules if you don't enforce them.

So this falls back on you. If you want to be respected, then you will have to start respecting yourself. If you allow someone to disrespect you, don't expect them to punish themselves for being disrespectful toward you.

So set your boundaries. And when someone crosses them, take action. Let your voice be heard and say to your friends what you don't like or express to them how you feel disrespected. And if they continue to treat you the same way, then you have not earned their respect. So that leaves you no other choice but to remove yourself from their presence.

You want respect? Start respecting yourself by not allowing yourself to be subjected to abuse, mistreatment, stepped on, ignored, used and so on. The power to gaining respect starts with you setting your own boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate in life.

You can't change your friends, but you can change what you allow to be done to you.

2006-11-30 16:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 0 0

hi... I actually were in this very similar function as you're in now. i did not imagine i'd live to inform the tale it. The dad were separated for a million 12 months when we met and his daughter became 8. One huge situation you're having, the bio mom telling the youngster to disrespect you! children purely comprehend what they are taught by adults. yet another situation-- Is the dad reinforcing you in practise those children or baby the perfect thanks to respect all grown united statesfantastically you? each and every from time to time step children experience that the stepmother is going to "thieve" the dad away. make sensible you placed aside time for the dad and baby to have time on their personal,which includes a movie or outing, use that element for your self,bypass finding out to purchase or take a lengthy warm bath and loosen up. come across a thanks to satisfy contained in the midsection, truly of creating use of the be conscious "my" abode use the be conscious "our" abode. make sensible that the youngster(ren) understand they are 100% element of your spouse and youngsters and supplies you them small judgements they can make. My step daughter is an human being now and we are like mom and daughter and the huge bonus is that she has given me 3 impressive grandsons. reliable luck to you and your spouse and youngsters.

2016-11-30 00:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Warm up to this concept: you don't demand respect. You earn it.

2006-11-30 16:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by Stuart 7 · 1 0

YOU DONT DEMAND RESPECT...THAT IS BASED FROM FEAR...YOU COMMAND RESPECT...BY THE WAY U CARRY YOURSELF AND TREAT OTHERS, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!

2006-11-30 16:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 3 · 1 0

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