its not like it sounds. we moved into his parents house about 11 months ago( money problems). his dad moved down to this cabin they have so its just his mother who is here. we have a 2 1/2 yr old son and she lets him get away with everything when i tell her not to. i am 9 months pregnant and she tells me that we dont need to have anymore kids and i should have been on birthcontrol pills. first of all i didnt have any insurance then( wasnt married yet and was 19 and off of my moms insurance and wasnt in school) by the time i had insurance and went to th Dr it was to late and i was already pregnant. he said we would be out by the time the baby was born and we are still living here. i know we dont have much money right now. his dad help him out with the money problem but he has to pay him off before we even think about getting our own house. what should i do? i dont need to be under all this stress when im pregnant. some one please help.
2006-11-30 15:54:35 · 7 answers · asked by ncaa_champs_05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my mom said that we could move into her house and we would go half on the rent and power. the only thing he would pay hisself would be the phone and cable bill. my mom said she would move in with her bf and she would still pay half on reant and power. i havent told him yet. should i even ttell him?
2006-11-30 15:56:23 · update #1
It sounds like a better situation than the one you are in now.
Have a heart to heart with your husband and tell him that you feel it would be best for you and the children to be on your own.
If he doesnt agree then tell him you and the children will go on your own because his mother is causing you too much stress.
2006-11-30 16:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom or his mom - they're both moms. And in another 9 months your mom will be getting on your nerves as well.
Its never good to have two wome-head-of-houses in one house. There will always be a battle of knowledge or who-knows-best.
Neither your mother or his dislikes you or disagrees with what you are doing. Spoiling a grandchild is what grandparents do...whether you want them to or not. They will never - ever do anything at all to harm them - ever.
Even though it drives you nuts - allow your mil to spoil or play or go against the rules. A 2 1/2 year old isn't old enough to be told anything...but that her grandma loves her.
Its hard when you need to put them down for a nap - but in the end, it works. And, with a little one now and another one on the way - you'll need a grandma from both sides to help you. You think your tired now...just wait.
The only way to escape other than living on your own is to "understand".
If your mil says "you should have been on birth control" just say "I understand". If she says "your baby needs a diaper changed" say "I understand".
"I understand" does two things...gives a response from you - and tells her that you understand - not agree - with what she said. You never have to say "you're right"...just "I understand". Trust me, it will work. You'll need it again when your kids are teens an they know everything...you won't agree - but you will understand.
I'm not agreeing with your mil at all. Just trying to get you some peace and quiet. Moving isn't an answer. Your mil means well and, sorry to say it, knows about children. She'll never hurt you or the kids. Just "understand" where she's coming from and learn those magic words.
Then, when your out and on your own...you'll wish she was there again so you could get a nap in.
2006-11-30 16:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st mistake....moving "back home". it never works and all you are dealing with is cause of it. If you don't get out of there real soon, the harping the mother in law is doing is going to be the split of your relationship if not least yours with her.
if I was you....I'd get your husband alone and grab him by the collar and say:
LOOK! We are out of here now. We are not paying your dad off before we leave nor are we gonna save for a house. We are gonna go rent an apt or a condo and have our own roof with our own ways. You are the man so get your butt in gear and make this happen. We have a child on the way and if its born here all hell is gonna break lose....on you little man (meaning him).
Sounds like your man is not enough of a man to be out on his own so now that times are tough he had to "run home to mommy for protection". Kick him in the pants and tell him he's an adult now and adults don't live at home with mommy, period. Real men work 4 jobs if they have to so their family has a roof and food.
He needs to talk to a minister or a preacher to be told and reminded of what it means to be a Man and a Father. Its not just going to work to bring a check home.
2006-11-30 16:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's all about the baby! Get away from the stress just like you would if you lived in a house full of smokers. You have to take it easy and in order to do that you have to find somewhere else to stay temporarily.
2006-11-30 16:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is try working something out with her and tell her how you feel. Perhaps then she will open up to you when she knows you care and be sorry for doing you this way and apologize and help you. Otherwise both ways both of you go and talk with the father about this situation and let him know also and perhaps he will also offer some help.
2006-11-30 16:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's the mother's house. If you are getting sick of her- YOU have to find other options- you have no right to expect the mother to back off in her own house after she has put you up.
2006-12-02 02:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by carmen (I'm a girl dammit!) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep being yourself and he won't know the difference
2006-11-30 16:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by keithy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋