my best friend (dani) used to be friends with a guy named Tom; they were never romantically engaged they just did alot of stuff together and were good friends. at one point in time i was friends with tom too, we are both musicians and would jam every now and then. over a period of time tom developed attitude problems ( i think it may be due to drugs). dani was still hanging out with him up until a month or so ago. i know how he acts and could never see how dani could hangout with him...so i just asked her. she said because she had to be friends with tom. why? because tom knows somthing about her.. she wouldnt tell me what, just that i dont need to know. she is usually very open but wont budge on this. she said it has somehting to do with hanging out with him alot at her house in hschool (before he changed into a not so nice person). i have no idea what this could be and thats all she told me, any ideas? dani and i went to hs together and we go to college in nyc
2006-11-30 14:34:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
note: i stop talking to tom after he became a real jerk; also i used to hang out at danis house alot but not as much as tom. dani and i r so close now and im just curious as to what it is/ was.
2006-11-30 14:35:35 · update #1
i know for a fact that she doesnt abuse drugs. we may swig some booze around, but never any illegal stuff. tom changed because the drugs messed with his head..that didnt happen to dani. also, i have brought it up and she says its not important. i guess i will jsut respect her choice..and im not a cat btw ;)
2006-11-30 14:42:44 · update #2
i would assure dani that she shouldnt feel that tom can have a hold on her......that you two are friends and that what ever happened in the past is just that the past....nothing you could find out about her would change your friendship....then make sure that if you do find out you keep your word allowing her to be free from his grip
2006-11-30 14:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by amyo1561 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok the way you said that sounds like dani and tom might have become intonement with each other in someway. By staying around him he might have agreed to keep his mouth shout if she keeps doing stuff for him. If she were to break away then she might be faced with a secret that she did not want someone to become known to the public. Maybe she cheated on a boyfriend she he says he wouldnt tell if she stuff stuff with him who knows the possibilities are endless
2006-11-30 22:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by The_Morbid_One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound serious ! it sounds like dani is being black mailed ! or mabe she has a relationship with this guy that consists only of sex or she mabe on drugs her self and tom buys them for her . tom's atitude could be a result of a lot of things he could be on drugs! then again he may not be. does he act in a rage at times and other times different ? that could be a sine of drug use. does she have mood change ? what you need to do is talk to her tell her that you are worried about her tell her you love her like a sister and you don't want to see her get hurt tell her you will always be by her side for any thing ! just leting her know that you will always be by her side shows that you care for her. ask her again about the thing tom has on her tell her that no matter what you will never tell !(unless it is somthing that could hurt some one in the end! but don't tell her that) if the secret is she is on drugs help her you don;t have to go taddle on her but try to get her to go to a place that could help her give up her addiction to drugs ( i think its called drug therpy)Good luck and God Bless !
2006-11-30 22:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by Heather F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she says it's nothing and won't tell you it might be because it is a big deal.....she might have did somthing with him that she doen't want you to knoe cause it might change the way you think of her.....maybe it's sothing she thinks is bad is and she regrets
2006-11-30 23:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by ladee giggles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably is trying to protect you by not telling you, but if it is that important to you, just ask her. If she doesn't answer than just forget about it.
2006-11-30 22:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ana Erikson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its over and done with dont worry about
curiosity killed the cat, i know it sounds corny but still it fits
2006-11-30 22:39:27 · answer #6 · answered by sammi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet she believes she did whatever it was that changed him.
She blames herself.
My guess - she introduced him to it.. whatever it is.
2006-11-30 22:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring it up and tell her u wont tell anyone
2006-11-30 22:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋