He just turned 13 last month and he has become very secluded hes always in his room and if i try to talk to him while hes in there he gets upset and runs to my bathroom and locks himself in there.is this normal behaviour?
2006-11-30 14:20:35 · 22 answers · asked by Samantha M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
YEP I have a 13 year old and a 14 year old and I see them when they are hungry and I barely get 10 words the whole day from either one of them. It is alot for your 13 year old right now. hormones have taken his body hostage and he is not sure how to react.. He will get over it and come back out of his shell when he is ready, just give him his space right now.
2006-11-30 14:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he is in his room with the door closed and when you walk in he heads directly to the bathroom and acts upset. He may have been masturbating. I know that is difficult for you to hear as a mother, but he is at that age. The acting angry is probably the easiest defense for getting embarassed and running off is probably because he doesn't want you to see him with an erection.
If you are seeing that scenario unfold, definitely give him some privacy. Boys that age get erections with or without warning and it can be very embarrassing for them. He is perfectly normal in this case. I have two sons and it shocked me when they went through that stage too. My boyfriend is a teacher and he also teaches sex ed., he really helped me understand the pubescent boy and that all this stuff is normal.
2006-12-01 05:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's tough to say if this is "normal" exactly.
I suggest that you let him know that you are worried about him and ask him if there's anything he'd like to discuss with you (ie peer pressure to do something? drugs, drinking, smoking? being bullied? is he scared or worried about something?) Let him know you are there for him. If he really won't talk to you, suggest he speak with his father and/or school counselor and/or a minister, etc.
Tell him you understand and respect his need for privacy and alone time, but that he's part of a family and with that comes the expectation that some time will be shared and that there will be conversation, etc. to maintain closeness and contact.
I don't know if he has a computer, tv or phone in his room, but I never let my two teenage boys (one's now 18 and in college, the other is 16 and a junior in high school) have a computer or tv in their room. Too isolating and I didn't want them getting too wrapped up in things of which I was unaware. Since that's how it was from the start, I never really got any push-back on that. Re: phone, if he's on the phone much of that time he's in the room and you're concerned about that, you could put some reasonable time limit on that.
Try to be sure he keeps up with other activities, like sports, band/drama and, of course, his schoolwork and studies.
If you see additional signs that worry you, follow up on them, too...just to be sure your son is safe and OK.
2006-11-30 15:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by Shars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 13, I wanted to stay in my room all the time. Not because there was anything wrong with me, but because I just flat out didn't want to be around my parents. It's just a teen thing for some. They are striving for independance and privacy. At that age they don't feel that their parents needs to know every little thing that's going on with them. Yeah, he could be having problems at school or something like that. Just let him know that you are there for him IF he wants to talk about anything. Don't pressure or push for him to open up to you. He will just withdraw further. I remember my teen years clearly, esp at 13 and 14. I liked to write alot and I would lay in my room for hours listening to my radio and writing poetry and short stories. Some kids just become more secluded than others at that age. Just keep your eyes open for other strange behaviors like grades dropping, suddenly having new friends that he doesn't want you to know anything about, skipping school or maybe getting into fights and the like. If this is all that is troubling you, I wouldn't worry. Let him have his space and privacy (to a certain extent). If he wants to talk, then let him make the decision to do so.
2006-11-30 14:39:53 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My first thought is that he is going through puberty and needs to be talked to by Dad about the changes and feelings developing in the young male body. My second thought is that he has discovered x-rated websites (my gf son actually made a scrape book of pictures of ladies) and doesn't want you to know. Whatever the reason, tell him when he gets home from school that the two of you have to have a talk and ask him about his day and what is going on. Don't give up it will take awhile, just talk plain and keep the lines open that he can tell you anything.
2006-11-30 14:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is often a time that teenagers face new and difficult challenges which they are, of course, at different levels to handle effectively. You know your son best. I would suggest that his behavior indicates that he's dealing with some anxiety/depression or is telling you that something is bothering him. I suggest that you find a good adolescent counselor and start working with him. He'll thank you in his twenties for the work that you do with him today.
Don't ignore it.
2006-11-30 15:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Peter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm 13 too. I would honestly just let him go. It's kinda normal to be all weird. He's not "crying out for love" or anything. He's just not wanting to be around his mom, like being more independent. Just keep the lines of communication open and watch for changes in grades, friend groups, dress, girlfriend, etc. In that case he may be experiencing peer pressure.
Be confident! I'm sure you're a great Mom, don't worry, and don;t be afraid to do whatever you think is right.
2006-11-30 14:27:06 · answer #7 · answered by sweet_plumeria 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm a mom of 3 and both of my boys went thru this stage. One was looking at porn and touching himself all the time and the other was on the darn game box or what ever you call it all the time. They are 6 yrs apart but went thru this right on cue at 14. They got angry when I tried to talk to then about it but eventually they got passed it. It was a rough time for all of us. The school councilor was a life saver for both.
2006-11-30 15:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 13 he's probly going to a lot of changes, phicial and mental. Everyone handles it differently. Keep trying to conect with him, maybe have his fater have a talk with him. Let him know that you are there for him but give him his space also. Do what ever you feel is best for you son. You are the parrent, dissuce it with his father.
2006-11-30 14:23:19 · answer #9 · answered by Brandy N 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes this is normal I am a teen myself and I have basicly gone through the same thiing and am watching my sister do the same pretty soon he will get an attitude just try to give him some time if something was really bugging him he would come out and tell you if you try to ask him whats wrong he prolly wont say so give it time and just try to communicate with him by doing stuff together having fun buying him something that would make him realy happy its just growing up
2006-11-30 14:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by lil_hottie_devil_2003 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋