From 1 to 10, rate how much you were teased in school. And from 1 to 10, rate your relationships now.?

Question

Teasing and play is one way that people become socialized. What I'd like to do is see how that relates to people's social boundaries, personal space, trust, openness, and empathy.

Answer 1

I know this won't be the winning answer, but here's what I want to say:

1. This research has already been done, actually:

"This study finds similar levels of self-esteem in young adults who were childhood bullies, bully victims, and children not involved with bullies. However results show that as adults, bullies and their victims report significantly more loneliness than those not involved in bully situations." (Tritt, Carol; Duncan, Renae D.)

"Evidence is found that peer alienation increased the odds of poor mental health, decreased the odds of having a partner, and decreased the odds of having a university degree. Peer alienation, however, was found to increase the likelihood of civic engagement." (Karen L. Robson)

There's plenty more where that came from, but that's just from empirical psychology studies published in reputed journals, and I only chose records from my first page of results.

2. You've already structured your question so that you'll get the answers you want: that people who were teased in school now have worse relationships (or better relationships, either way it's been manipulated). You've done this by making your guess extremely obvious in both the question and the "additional information". Your answerers may not even realize they are being guided. If you really wanted to test this, you'd have to set it up with bogus filler, and without using words like "teasing" which hint at negativity.

For example:

1. Please rate your experience of grade school.

a) Very bad
b) Bad
c) Somewhat bad
d) Neutral
e) Somewhat good
f) Good
g) Very good

2. Please rate your experience of your current job. (A-G)

3. Please rate your experience university/college studies, if any. (A-G)

4. Please rate your experience of friendship currently. (A-G)

5. Please rate your experience of relationships currently. (A-G)

6. Please rate your level of health currently. (A-G)

You get the idea. You've come up with an interesting hypothesis, but by the way you are testing it, you have biased your answers in your favour...essentially, you aren't proving anything.

3. What's more, make sure to not confuse correlation with causation - perhaps people who were teased more in school really ARE worse at relationships now, for example. But is that because of the teasing, or is it because of a third factor? Perhaps physical unattractiveness is causing BOTH teasing AND poor relationships. Or perhaps people who were teased already had poor social skills, which caused BOTH teasing and AND poor relationships. Without running a real experiment, there's no way of knowing.

4. Research is cool. Seeing someone in your life behave a certain way (maybe even you!) and testing it is one of the most rewarding and exciting things you can do. But you've got to ask yourself: what matters to you more? Being right, or discovering truth?

If being right is more important, then by all means, go right ahead. But if discovering truth - at least, by scientific standards - matters to you, then you might want to look over previous research on the effects of childhood bullying, how to conduct research without guiding the participants, and how to interpret your findings without making false assumptions.

My very best of luck & welcome to the addiction!

Answer 2

8 on the teasing in school. I came from the only poor part of a "wealthy" school district. I quit school and was depressed, anxious and self -conscious for YEARS. Later I got my GED and went on to vocational school. I now rate my relationships a "10" (if you meant 1-10 = bad-good) After counseling and treatment I am happy and have a great family and life. Teasing is only play when it is meant to be funny and playful. When teasing hurts a person it is a form of bullying. I know from personal experience that it can really scar a person. I also want to add that I had trust problems for many years, but I have alot more compassion and empathy for others now.

Answer 3

Got teased about a 5 or a fair share, kids are cruel. My relationships now are great, probably a 9 or so, we don't have a perfect marriage but I have a very loving marriage. I get along with most people around me and I have learned to speak up in a matter of fact manner when someone says something rude or inappropriate to me. I am a more well rounded individual and have more empathy for the people around me because I was teased in school.

Great Question

Answer 4

I was always sort of the outcast when I was younger. I had a rather small group of friends, and let's just say we were a little..on the weird side. I was teased quite often because of the clothes I wore, how I acted, etc. So I'd probably say about a 9 being how much I was teased. But now that I've gotten older, I've matured and I'm starting to find my place. I realized that it doesn't matter what other people think. And as my confidence grew, I noticed I was being picked on less and less because I wasn't showing as much vulnerability as I used to. Now I have numerous friends of many different backgrounds and interests, and I'd say I have a 9.5 with my relationships now.

Answer 5

Teased in school, 8-9. My relationships now, very few but about a 6. Except with my dad and his wife 9-10.

Answer 6

An 8 at least! It was awful. I got picked on big time cause I'm hispanic but born in America. I said "dude" and "man" a lot, so therefore I got called a 'coconut' and a lot more bad ones.

Now, I have great and strong relationships. Oddly, I think getting crapped on a lot made me have thicker skin and I'm pretty damn funny when among large crowds. I do trust the people I surround myself with. I don't have a bunch of friends but those who I do call a "friend" are great ones and I trust all of them. I feel sympathetic to the "underdog" and am willing to go out of my way to help someone in need. Especially when I'm not "popular" for it.

Answer 7

In school, a 1. I was hardly ever teased. I didn't do much teasing either. Not as a kid. (now I do, though). My relationship is probably a 9. My hubby and I are good, but I guess there's always room for improvement.

Answer 8

In school a 3 in teasing. In relationships now? 3. I have no relationship. I was with a girl and the sht fell apart, I have not been the same since. My problems have to do with the way I think about women. I have the unfortunate tendency of seeing everything in black and white. Since my ex was a slag I think every woman is a slag so I give no other girls a chance.

Answer 9

I was teased at around an 8.5. I don't trust people but I am open anyway because I want to be accepted. I am going to change this. I have a huge personal space. I don't like it if people are less than around five feet away from me. I am empathic and so I do empathized. But, I have to learn to empathize without trying to fix.

Answer 10

9- My relationships are only doing better know because I have made a great effort to change my thinking and forgive my past. The book The Journey by Brandon Bays is the cure to social diseases. I hope you read it and actually help others become free from their past. Also my spiritual path is the important key to understand my purpose and relationship with every living being. (Krishna Consciousness)The Bhagavad-Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta it the key to the Universal Path to Spirituality and total healing.