Is spanking a child with a belt and failing to take them to ER for pinkeye crossing the line of child abuse?

Question

My husbands ex wife lets her boyfriend spank their daughter with a belt that has been described by the child as looking like a rope.I beleive this is child abuse.She also did not take the child to the doctor for pinkeye the day before thanksgiving.She said it was bacause she was in a hurry to get the child to her father for his visitation.My husband and I took her to the emergency room after we picked her up at 6:00 pm.She said her boyfriend can spank her if he wants to.

Answer 1

I believe that this is the problem with America. Children get too spoiled. In no way do I believe, that beating the sh** out of your children is OK, but I strongly feel that a little light tapping with a belt is almost necessary. But Americans are too, for a lack of a better word, ignorant to see this. That's why in this country we have 30 year old grown women living with mommy and daddy with no job and buying everything on their credit cards. As for the pink eye, I think she should have at least tried to do something herself if she couldn't get to a doctor. That is only my opinion, but I strongly believe in it.

Answer 2

I suppose it is how you look at the situation. I personally do not think it is right for a boyfriend or girlfriend of a parent to spank a child that is not theirs. It might depend on if there is bruising and laserations left by the belt might define it as child abuse, especially the kind you can do something about. Pinkeye is very serious, however a lot of pharmacies sell over the counter medication that could possibly clear it up. If the child had it for several days or week prior then yes it could be considered neglect rather than abuse.
I would say that the mother is failing to do her part as a parent by handling the child's need for discipline correctly...potentially they could have a child in the future more angry due to the choice in discipline they use. Also I would fear that they boyfriend could be getting some sort of arousal by spanking the girl and again could cause MUCH more damage emotionally & physcially in the child's future. So yes it probably could be considered abuse in many different forms.

Answer 3

Yes. I believe it's child abuse, especially neglecting the child medical care. Pink eye is a serious infection, and can cause debilitating problems in some extreme cases. That kid should have been taken to a doctor immediately!

As far as the spanking...I think we'd need more info. to judge. However, I don't think it's ever necessary to strike a child wih a belt or rope. That's just asking for an injury. Also, what sane woman would let her boyfriend whip her child with a belt?! If a man who was not my child's father (or at the very least, stepfather) hit my kid, he'd be kicked straight to the curb.

If it isn't abuse, it's right at the line. At the VERY least, it's lazy, pathetic parenting.

Answer 4

Old time...spanking with a belt was fine...these days, I don't agree with it because people take it too far. If he is leaving bruises on this child - he needs to be reported. If she is that bad that time-outs and punishment doesn't work, she may need a spanking but not to the point where bruises are left and maybe just a tap with the hand...this is a hard question, I see that I am on the fence about it...not taking the child to the doctor for an ailment is crazy! Sounds like the mother and the boyfriend need to be reported...a 2 hour stay at the doctor wasn't going to take that much time from the father...he has the rest of the childs life and his to enjoy her....this is crazy, they are crazy.

Answer 5

I am very pro-spanking, but I am also real anti-abuse and that is what this sounds like.

I don't have a problem with the girl being spanked. And though I don't think much of spanking with a belt--that alone is not enough. But the boyfriend doing it? I don't like the sounds of that at all.

And this not taking her to get treatment for pinkeye would be more than a problem for me.

I don't know what the legal stauts is here. But I would put a stop to visits until this was cleared up. And I would really dig my heels in.

Answer 6

Why would you take a child to the ER for pink eye? It's highly contagious, and you just exposed who knows how many other kids and adults to the disease, all because you want to prove you're a better mommy. Congratulations. Next time, family doctor. Look into it. An ER is for emergencies.

As for the spanking, no one other than a biological parent needs to be handing out the discipline. Speak to a case worker about this if the mother continues to let this go on. Don't let the little girl go back there without brining this to someone's attention first.

Answer 7

First the boyfriend has NO reason NO right and plenty of nerve to spank another man's child. And the mother should feel awful seeing or hearing someone hit her child-a daughter a that. I do feel like this is abuse and neglect. If your grandaughter told you, hopefully she will tell her father and he will take her in and make things right for her before it is too late and she is scarred from this.I only have sons and if I was not with their father, I would be the only one to discipline them. Doesn't the mother realize that the person hitting her child does not love her the way she and her father love her? It will only bring emotional and physical pain and hurt to the daughter and she will soon, if not already, resent them both. She needs to know that she is responsible for her childs safety and she is shaping her and molding her for the rest of her life. She is sending her the wrong signs. She should never let someone hurt her. Never. Our children need to know that we are there to protect them until they are old enough to protect themselves, that is why she trusted you enough to tell you, she obviously feels safe with you. Don't let her down.

Answer 8

Your husband and his ex wife need to work out how to discipline their child. Spanking is not legally child abuse if it is done correctly. In fact, most Departments of Family and Children's Services will tell you of this. On the other hand, not seeking medical attention for the pink eye could be considered Cruelty to Children, unless they parents can prove they didn't do it because of religious reason, which as you stated wasn't the reason.

Answer 9

Hi there,
What you have described is definately child abuse...if she is allowing her boyfriend to hit her child in any way then she is responsible...If it were me...I would make a call to the local child welfare authorities...to protect that child...that child doesn't have anyone else...now that you know...it is your responsibility to inform the correct people so that your boyfriend's ex can get help and understand what she is doing to her child...do it now before the child gets hit again!!

Answer 10

Your husband needs to talk directly to the ex wife and her boyfriend about the discipline in their home.
I think hitting a child AT ALL is abuse and entirely wrong. If there are marks on this child, REPORT IT. Kids are hurt (or killed) everyday because people dont react when they see something that they think is not right.
She was being negligent in not taking the daughter to the doctor. Pink eye is highly contagious (not to mention painful!). I would have your husband obtain the ER reports and approach his ex wife. If she is confrontational, initiate mediation (see the family law department at the county courthouse).
Good luck,
Just dont ever "let something go" if you have questions about a childs safety or health...