brain damaged person or child...or something so severe...and you finally tell a family member.."I can't do it anymore?''''....and you find out nobody will TAKE HIM??? do you think it is alright to put that person in a caring home...his social security check would pay for his care...(it is a friend of mine)...she would visit him, i know this!!! also would a CHURCH FORCE YOU TO STAY WITH HIM...WHEN HE IS NOT MENTALLY HERE ANYMORE??? JUST WANTED TO KNOW!!! THANKS!!!
2006-11-30 12:14:37 · 9 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A very tough decision, I KNOW!!. But you have your life and what should make is easier for you,is the fact, that the person is not mentally aware that you have to put (he-she) in a facility. Do not feel guilty about it.
2006-11-30 12:21:48 · answer #1 · answered by P/T Doctor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weird i have that dilemma right now...I have a nephew who from the time he was 10 has been living in a hospital/group home type of setting...He is now 18 and has to live in a group home with other adult retarded folks. My husband and i dropped him off after thanksgiving and were horrified by what we saw, the house was nice, but the people UGH...So we talked and have decided to make an attempt to bring him here with us. We are starting with weekends and holidays. He still is in school and will be till he is 21. I went out and bought him all new clothes, ones that will fit him, i guess the share clothes there.
So if you have to place someone and its a kid, some of the places are really nice, others drug them all day long...For the adults, you don't know how violent the others are...One guy beat my nephew with a electrical cord and masturbates on his clothes, weird i know...My nephew is a good kid and we are going to make sure he is taken care of, his mother, my sister is very ill and doesn't have much time on the earth and is unable to care for him, we will now.
Just check the place out and keep checking while person is there, believe me its hard, hard to see. Most of the folks have no one come to see them and are abused, so keep an eye out....
2006-11-30 20:24:10 · answer #2 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you can't handle it then yes it's fine to put them in a home...as long as it's one where he'll be taken care of. They'd be better equipped to deal with it anyway. That would be incredibly draining on a person and they shouldn't be looked down on for admitting they need help.
By the way though...the church can NOT force you to stay with someone. I think that's more of a reason your friend is using because she feels guilty for wanting to leave (I know the church has the rules but ultimately it's her decision) She needs to do what's in her best interest. Make sure he's ok and taken care of and don't totally abandon him but she needs to have a life and he'd probably want that for her.
Good luck to your friend! What an awful thing to be dealing with!
2006-11-30 20:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a home is acceptable. Just keep a close eye on things to avoid abuse. As far as the church --no one can force you to stay . Most believe til death do we part but your friend has to decide what is right for her. She must also consider that a divorce could cause huge legal issues such as her right vs his parents/family to make decisions regarding care. She could also lose some of her personal assets ( money, home, etc) in a divorce. Tell her to think things over carefully even talk to an attorney.
2006-11-30 20:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by wes41550 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is okay, it is harder for the family than the person. Unfortunately if the person is your spouse your vows" till death do us part" still stand, so in the eyes of God you should stay married.Though you do not have to take care of them in your home, sometimes the person will receive better and knowledgeable in a care facility.I uses to work in care facilities they are not bad, so dont give yourself a guilt trip.Just get to know the people who take care of your family member it will make it a lot easier.
2006-11-30 20:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by greatful2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the child on disability wavier, depends what state you live in, place the child in a special needs facilty, group home so that child needs can be met, check out your resources, children home society, and dept of children and families, and see where they can assist you, all road blocks of getting assistance, then hire an attorney, place the child under the care of the state you live . BEst of luck, alot of your southern states are worthless, of helping the families of special needs children and adult.
2006-11-30 20:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one and no church can force her to keep her child with her when her wellbeing is at risk and there are other options. She can check out local facilities and choose the one she thinks will be best for him. She can visit to her heart's content and know that he is receiving the best care available.
2006-11-30 20:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you must feel. I don't think that it is bad to put someone you care about in a place that is probably more equipped to help his needs. You can't be expected to take care of him for the rest of your life, it could be the best thing that you could ever do. Good Luck in all you do.
2006-11-30 20:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
taking care of some one like that is a hard job you just need to do what you think is best for him and you, don't go on a guilt trip if you can not care for this person any more
2006-11-30 20:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋