Why do I always rethink recent events and feel ??? in things I said or didn't say or do?

Question

Of course this seems tougher with age (30's) and expectations of people. I have always worried what people think of me. How can I get over this or get better at it?

To answer some questions - I am spiritual but not religous. Please don't try to sway me. My family is not close or loving, suprise suprise.

Answer 1

Are the events that you rethink ones that don't go as you planned or something unexpected happens? You aren't alone in worrying what others think of you, other people (including myself) have similar thoughts about themselves.

Learning to accept yourself as you are isn't always easy to do even when we know that someone else loves/others love us unconditionally.

Because you've asked this in the psychology section, I imagine you wish to have an answer from someone knowledgable in psychology or the principles of it. I did study it for one semester but I don't think we reached the area where your question might be answered.

Do you have people in your life whom love you? Supportive friends or family members? A counsellor you trust? Do you attend a church or group with people you trust?

I suggest this: if recent events keep returning to your memory then perhaps think through what might be bothering you about them then do your best to put it out of your mind.

Answer 2

I totally know what yor are talking about. It is called obsessive thinking. Perhaps the reason it seems worse as you get older is that you have gotten into the practice of thinking this way and now your mental obsessions are stronger .
I find if I have the ability to recognize when I'm obsessing about something I can turn it off by saying" you're doing it again" to myself, or making myself too busy to think like that.
Also practice telling yourself things will be allright no matter what, in this way you will be more serene and care less what others think.

Answer 3

pre-programmed to failure is the dilemma of the underachiever and schools do pay backs to disruptive and inattentive children, it's like when the file on you in the service has a little icon in the corner that only they can read, much of how the system is built is on suck and is u use their way u win if u want to understand first , they throw you the monkey wrench just to add insult to injury, but u can't find this information unless u go over how the programed u to fail this way