My husband and I have been together 5 years, married for 4 months. Right before we got married, he cheated. I went on with the marriage because he told me that it was over between them. He kept seeing her for about a month after we were married, I moved out. They stopped seeing each other and talking after I moved out. We got back together about 2 months ago and since he has not had a job. While we were split up he went through a lot of things, he tried some new drugs and lost his job. He has been looking for work recently and landed a few interviews. He checks in when he is away, but sometimes still makes little stupid comments about her. Does he really still love me? Most of the time I think he acts like he does. He tells me he loves me all the time, but with all this going on how do i begin to know what to believe and not believe? Please help!
2006-11-30 11:35:08 · 24 answers · asked by mstuffyakim 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would work on leaving relationship; his actions speaks volume to who he really is; don't ignore flags!
2006-11-30 11:39:54 · answer #1 · answered by KTOWNANDREW 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage should be based on love and respect, it doesn't sound to me like your husband has shown you either.
The fact that he "cheated", then "continued cheating" after you were married should tell you what kind of person he is. Let's see, he "lost his job", does "drugs" and still talks about "her". How nice that he "checks in" with you when he is away. And you want to know if he "still loves you"? Honey wake up, he "never" loved you or respected you!
People who love and respect each other don't treat each other the way he's treating you. He's immature, selfish and couldn't care less how you feel. Aren't those "red flags" going off??? Pay attention.
You deserve far better than him. I suggest you run away from this person as fast as you can. Staying in a relationship with him is only going to make your life miserable! Good luck.
2006-11-30 19:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seperate from him until he gets his act together and if you still want to forgive him then do but only on the condition that he cease all contact and convo with or about her. Right now he is in a low place to be as a man and will say and do anything to keep his bread buttered. If he can't straighten his life out then you need to move on before children enter into the picture.
2006-11-30 19:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE YOURSELF ! He does NOT love you, he is too busy attending to his own selfishness and is too wrapped up into fulfilling this to worry about you. My husband (soon to be ex) is also cheating, still talking to his ex behind my back, also enjoys drugs and is a selfish and manipulative jerk too. This is why he is my soon to be ex (we've only been married 9 mths). Pack your stuff or his (if you decide to remain in the home) and head straight to your superior court to file for divorce. I do hope you don't have any children together, that way when all is said and done you never have to look back, just keep it movin. Good luck..
2006-11-30 21:27:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you one time he will do ti again and again until, hopefully he realizes that he needs to stop. Me personally I would of left him already and I wouldn't even gotten married to begin with, I know it is a hard decision to make but. You can find real love and think about it he might bring HIV to you.
Think about it and the heart do heals after a while so think about.
Make sure you are making the right decision and always think about yourself.
It will be really hard for you to fully trust him again and your marriage probably won't work.
Take care of your self!
2006-11-30 19:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweet stuff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have never married him in the first place. If he chose to cheat on you even before you were married, he doesn't love you. How are you ever supposed to trust a man when he violated your commitment even before you were married. Unfortunately, he will likely do the same thing to you again. It seems like he needs to find some help with his own life. By staying with him, you are only going to hurt yourself more in the future.
2006-11-30 19:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by nickhoops2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm getting so tired of saying "divorce the bum" to all these type of questions. So, stick to it! Does it get better? Nope, he's going to cheat on you again. But stick to it! Is he immature? Yes, but stick to it! Will he get a job soon? Nope, he enjoys being the little kid of the house. But, stick to it! Will he ever be the responsible person you hoped for before you shacked up with him? Nope, no need to. He's got it made sponging off a nice girl who isn't too aware of his actions. but, stick to it! Yep, girl you two are in for a long happy relationship! I'd say at least another 3 months, tops!
2006-11-30 20:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you r the most patient and unselfish woman I haveever known and I truly believe he is still cheating on you and you deserve a lot better than what you have been receiving. You need to get as far away and move on with ur life
2006-11-30 19:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by James M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back.
Let your husband work on getting himself together, off drugs, and a job that can support you both.
He has a lot of wrong things going on in his life right now and for you to step in would be assisting him when he should want to do this himself to prove to you that you deserve him as a husband and a father to your future kids.
Don't make his problems your problems.
Best of luck
2006-11-30 19:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is exactly like my wife's ex-boyfrend. Egoism and irresponsibility is their way of life. Adultery, drugs and alcohol are their best friends.
When my wife met me, she found the strength to let him go.
Today she can't believe what she saw in him and how she made up life with such a person.
When he says he loves you he does it out of egoism, just to keep you for himself......to have a victim for his lies, his abuse and last but not least someone who supports him when he doesn't feel like working.
Sorry for those harsh words, but you cannot change him. The only thing you can change is your situation, and this means you need to leave him.
2006-11-30 19:48:01 · answer #10 · answered by McMurdo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on and get a divorce before you have children... Do you want your kids raised with a father who is a bum and cheats on there mom because that's is what you'll be teaching them.. You will be saying it's OK to let someone hurt you and walk all over you.
2006-11-30 19:46:10 · answer #11 · answered by babie919 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋