I'm having serious nightmares please help?!?

Question

I thought I had dealt with the abuse of an ex partner. The problem is recently i have started having really awful nightmares about things he did. I'm waking up in hot sweats either crying, very distressed or both. Why is this?? What can I do to stop it?!

I have tried relaxation. Lavender oil, relaxing baths, quiet life tablets etc. We had a child together so irradicating reminders is not possible as my son is with me. We don't see him.

Answer 1

The keyword is "recently", this means that you have been thinking about the abuse you experienced before so many times "recently", and that's why I believe what you need is to start rethinking about other positive things that happened to you before daily.

Also take this carefully into consideration: Never sleep with negative emotions, try to always feel good or remember & think about good things before sleeping.

Last time I watched the movie "The Brandon Corey Story" before I slept and I enjoyed a very bad nightmare afterwards.

Answer 2

Right, first of all, ignore answer 1 & 5 - reading fictional books doesn't stop nightmares, neither does speaking to an imaginary being. I mean be honest with yourself, does it make ANY logical sense that all problems could be solved by sticking our hands together and speaking? No. If praying worked, then there'd be no problems in the first place.
Dreams are quite unexplainable, even in the modern day and age. There are however theories going around that sound very plausible. For example, are you subconsciously thinking about the ex partner? You won't know if you are or not, but perhaps something has reminded you of him and has caused your subconscious to think about him during the day and then at night in your dreams.

The way I see it there are three possible courses of action:
1 - Take a break from EVERYTHING - go on holiday, relax, totally forget about everything in an attempt to relax your mind and stop the nightmares.
2 - There is a technique around called "lucid dreaming" which I know personally to work. The basic principle is that whilst you are dreaming, you realise (within the dream) that whatever is going on isn't real and is just a dream; thus allowing you not only to not be scared but also even totally re-shape your dreams. There are techniques to practise during the day which become habitual and follow into dreams which allow you to identify when you are dreaming. I have tried this technique myself just for experimentation purposes and know that "lucid dreaming" works. Search the Internet for the phrase "lucid dreaming" for information and techniques.
3 - The simple but costly and perhaps unwanted step could be to ask a psychologist.

Hope I have been of some help.

Answer 3

You need to get yourself in an extremely relaxed state with your eyes closed. Deep breathing helps. Now picture a time when the abuse was extremely bad and picture yourself doing something extremely brave--picture a very big brave you saving yourself from this horrible person. Imagine a scene where the police come and save you. Rewrite the memory in your brain. Go through this effort with any of the bad scenes. By rewriting the memory in your brain in a very relaxed state, you can overcome the bad dreams. It also helps to wake up and write out the scene you have just dreamed and describe all the emotions that you are feeling. Don't worry about form and funtion, just write as fast at the thoughts and words come. You will be amazed at how this helps. These steps combined with prayer can really help to purge your mind, heart, and soul of these bad images and memories. You won't ever forget what happened, but you don't have to relive them every night. Good luck!

Answer 4

EVERYONE seems to know your situation and EVERYONE seems to have varying solutions that contradict everyone else's.
I'm pretty sure that i'm as assured of my prognosis (that this is your solution) as they are of theirs. Here goes:

first, perhaps understanding the process of what's going on might help a bit?

You probably have already dealt with that situation. Sometimes the fact that you're now moving on is enough to bring
flashbacks because your subconscious doesn't want to let its guard down.

The reason why you're having this flashback in the first place
boils down to this: nightmares are an archaic survival tool that we used to use as practice in a safe environment for when you're in a dangerous situation. Your subconscious is throwing up your worst fears so you can analyse it/them and learn how to deal with a similar scenario in reality in the future.

As soon as you internalise a strategy of what you might do when faced with that situation again, these dreams will stop. Unless you let enough time pass that your memory becomes less sharp on the details and the reassurance of living without a recurrence of that situation sets in.

i agree with cinderblock91 +ve thinking definitely has an impact on what you dream about most of the time (scientists have proven this & i'll try to find the link). A more robust solution would be to take martial arts classes, excerise, run and resolve to watch future partners for similar trends in behaviour.


everyone's experience is different; I can empathise with your experience. It's easy for me to sympathise.

you will survive this, but while it's still bugging you, all the best

Answer 5

Think of the good things in life and NEVER take any bad thoughts to bed with you. Then when you are in bed start at your feet and try and relax each toe , then your ankle,and each part all the way up to the top of your leg then start at your other leg , then the left arm and so on till your whole body is relaxed and you will find that you will fall to sleep long before you get half way up your body and you will wake refreshed in the morning!

Answer 6

you will possibly be experiencing some positioned up-irritating rigidity disease. in case you're taking any meds, some would reason nightmares as a factor result. eating a solid eating recurring, eating a large variety of water, and getting extensive-unfold workout would help. try organic and organic teas and supplementations like melatonin to help relax you and help you sleep. cardio workout a minimum of four-6 hours until eventually now mattress would help you sleep extra effective, besides as stretching, yoga, meditation, and rest. a expert can no longer "tag" you, they are going to attempt that might assist you by counseling and drugs.

Answer 7

i had a problem when i left my abusive ex husband, he was brutal and i had trouble sleeping. i would stay awake for sometimes several days, afraid he would find me { i left with my children when he was away} i would have night mares when i slept. i decided that if i let him do this to me and he wasn't even there that he would win. i don't know if you understand what i mean. but i couldn't let him make me feel that way ever again, and i knew it would please him if he knew that i was still afraid of him. so i refused to think about the pain and the things that he said and did to me. when ever something would come into my mind about it i would just buckle down and refuse to let it take me back to where he had put me. i hope this will help.

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear you had an abusive partner, i used to have terrible nightmares about snakes attacking me and was afraid to go to sleep, i then started thinking about me attacking the snakes and killing them as i was trying to get to sleep and this really worked for me, so maybe as your trying to get to sleep think about you getting the better of your ex and doing worse to him than he did to you and see if this helps any ?.
Good Luck :-)

Answer 9

Talk to your doctor and see what he/she can give you. Prayers are the best solution as well. Pray to God and ask him to help you. I was in a abusive relationship for many years. I divorced him and just this year I have had bad dreams about him and his mom, sister etc. I talk about mine, it helps.

Answer 10

when you got to sleep just think of the oposite thing ( you beating the crap out of him.. i cant stand hearing about guys that beat women they should all be shot.