I'm 5'3 and weigh 100 pounds and I'm 18 years old and a cheerleader. I'm not the shortest in class, but guys are always picking me up for no reason (they say its fun) at school. It was fun at first but girls are getting mad, they think I'm out for attention or something. The worst part is I can't tell them to stop because I don't want to be mean or assertive, but when I ask them as a joke or politely they never take it seriously. Last week the strongest guy on the football team was showing off and as I was walking by he literally snatched me up and raised me above his head! I was laying on my back on the palms of his hands. He really caught me off guard, I was not expecting it at all. Now guys see me and ask if they can practice lifting me so that they can show off too. I'm NOT asking for this to happen, and there is nothing I can do physically because I'm not strong and they are.I don't mind them picking me up sometimes but I'm starting to feel helpless.
2006-11-30 11:05:42 · 15 answers · asked by susie q 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I can understand how you don't want to alienate yourself among your peers, so white lies could help. Be on the look out for someone trying to grab you and put your hands out to stop them and tell them you have a stomach ache or you just ate or you're trying to keep some food down and if they raise you up one more time you are going to be sick. Tell them you didn't realize you had motion sickness from suddenly being lifted up. You have a headache and being lifted up makes it worse. Times are different, throw out the period card. Most of the time when someone picks you up, it really does hurt, it either pulls your skin or catches a bone the wrong way. Just say it hurts and offer up someone else in the challenge. They've proven they can pick you up...offer up one of the jealous girls.
2006-11-30 11:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm petite also. When I was at school guys would lift me up and silly things like that. More recently now I'm an adult when I go out clubbing complete strangers will lift me up!! But once I had enough courage to kick a guy in the you know where. Honey, it is a form of assault. Nobody has the god damn right to pick you up like a barbell! You tell them to stop doing it or you will kick them in the balls next time they do so!
2006-11-30 11:18:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lily 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Save the cheerleader, save the world! -- From "Heroes"
Anyways, the guys are flirting with you. You're probably cute, since so many guys are, including the football players. So - easiest way to combat this is to make a plan with the rest of the cheerleading team that when a guy comes and tries to do this, for them to all be supportive and hold on to you or something.
That way, you can deflect attention to the whole team, and not seem like you're not appreciative.
Hope this helps!
2006-11-30 11:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by ozzie_c_cobblepot 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, you must be very pretty. What you got to do is walk around with a glare on your face people will get scared and back off. Thats what I do when I want to be left alone. Or if you don't want to do that. start smearing black eyeliner around your eyes and wear all black. I like to be left alone most the time so thats what I usually do. People will back off or if that wont work for you ether. I am sorry if you cant be rude to people i cant think of anything else sorrrry !!!
2006-11-30 11:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You simply need to learn how to command respect, and you first do that by learning to respect YOURSELF.
Would you tolerate this behavior from a stranger on the street? No, you'd be yelling for someone to cal 911.....you would feel violated.
You just enjoy the validation of their approval and attention too much, and what's more, you fear rejection of the guys more than rejection from the girls.
The girls see you as a pushover and think you will do anything for the attention and approval of the guys. They think this because you not only do not have respect for yourself, but you have less respect for them.
They are not as jealous as you think. They look down on you because of your extreme approval-seeking, and they feel like they are above you and your antics. You are alienating them, and that one's on YOU. You give the other cheerleaders a bad image.
You need to learn how to build rapport with your girlfriends first. And when a guy thnks that he can assult you and manhandle you, you will have some support behind you, people to stand up for you and look out for you, and strength in numbers.
If you let these guys do this, they will think that they can treat the other girls with such disrespect, and of course the other girls will hate you for it.
You are asking for this, and you are not the helpless victim you claim to be.
Try this first. Change I CAN"T, to I AM NOT WILLING TO, in your vocabulary.
When a guy (ar anyone) does anything you don't want them to do, simply say firmly "HEY! BACK OFF!" Then say "HOW CAN I EARN YOUR RESPECT?"
It's not being mean to stick up for yourself. If a stranger grabbed at your purse, would you let him have it, just to be nice? If one of the football players handed you a crap-sandwich, would you eat it, just to be nice?
Learn this lesson. Guys only like pushovers for a minute. Then, after you put out to make them like you more, they lose respect and lose interest.
Guys love girls that are a challenge. They don't really want someone they can control.
You just need to stop alienating your girlfriends and stop doing stupid human tricks for the guys just because you want them to like you.......you are acting like a trained monkey, and you are giving cheerleaders a bad name. No wonder they are all mad at you!!!!!
2006-11-30 11:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have the smae problem.. (but I am only in the 6th grade) guys never stop!! Just yell at them and get a boyfriend and maybe they will stay away... lol jk but dont ask them to stop politely because then they will laugh .. but dont be the bad guy and tell on them! ( you probably wont anyway) but just get really mad at them and if you have to smash them in a locker!! It worked for me but it is really hard since I was so much smaller then them!! But jsut try it
2006-11-30 11:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by :D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, how pitiful. Scream at them to stop. Tell your little boys that you'll charge them with assault if they even begin to think of picking you up. If that's too embarrasing and socially wrong for the likes of a cheerleader, then perhaps it's not that big of a problem. It goes with the territory of being a short cheerleader, kiddo.
2006-11-30 11:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by bansri47 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
that sounds extremely frustrating! i would clearly express that i do NOT tolerate this anymore because i am a human not an object to be showed off with. if they continue, tell the principal or someone else who can help you. you are not being a snitch because they are not treating you fairly in the first place so you have no other option.
2006-11-30 13:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that if you just ask em " hey guys can yall stop, i personally dont mind, but my other friends are jealous of me and getting a bad opinion of me, seriously though its nothing against you" being a guy i think that if a girl said that to me, i would be fine with it and stop.
2006-11-30 11:15:38 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan D 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Say no and stand by it no matter what, if you get violated ( which I think you will because you let it come this far) be very mad and fight back. You could get hurt trying to entertain the boys.
2006-11-30 11:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋