What would you do?
When two people can look @ each other and melt and know just what the other needs to make them feel a warmth inside that noone can replace but, if trust was broken in the beginning over lying about calling a girl on a regular basis no dating or sex involved (admitted by both) and over the next 7 yrs the two of you marry have a child and TRY to get past it but no matter what something happens to bring you right back to the trust issue if it's him running late, a hang up call or you not being able to reach him do you think we are wasting precious years by holding on? we even divorced 2 yrs ago but we still want let go.
2006-11-30 10:48:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to say. I have been there ( exactly same situation) and we are still together, but only because we have a child. If I wouldn't have a child I would leave. I understand now if trust is broken it's close to impossible to repear it.
2006-11-30 10:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by Yana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not like what i am going to say here but here it is. I think you are crazy for letting something so small as lying over a phone call break up your marriage. Don't missunder stand me' I am not condoning a lie. Married couples should never lie to each other. But' I also think there is more to it than that. I think that down deep inside you feel like he slept with her even though you say he didn't. A lie is bad but you can get past it' I think it goes deeper. There is a part of you that is just not sure that he didn't and that is what you are holding on to. I know because i have been there. You need to let go' either forgive him and move on and build your lives together or break clean and give up and stop think about any feelings that you still have for him and make a new life for yourself with out him and leave all baggage behind.
2006-11-30 11:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I can help, but I have been there and done that, my boyfriend cheated on me when I was 6 months pregnant with his first born son, right in my face he did, sort of, you new something was going on, he always said why do people worry, what they don't know can't hurt them, well we got married anyway, and I cheated on him thinking it would make me feel better, cause a girl feels worthless when a man wants another, but me cheating did not make me feel better, I have just broken one of Gods commandments, thou shalt not commit adultery, at least my husband cheated before we were married. Anyways 6 years later I still don't completely trust him, even though he comes straight home from work, there is never really any signs of any more cheating, I still remember. He was able to forgive me, Once trust is broken it is very hard to fix, but you have to either accept your relationship or move on. I accept it, in society we have 12 year olds walking around looking like Pam Anderson, and all kinds of beautiful women surrounding us, it is only natural to worry a little bit, cause society is only about sex, drugs and money.Always remember love and sex are two different things, sex you can get anywhere, love is sometimes very hard to find. My husband does everything in the world that he can for me, if I want something he will get it, If I want to go somewhere we will be there. He loves me unconditionally. I am very lucky, and I will not throw that away for some evil thoughts that may pop up in my head. Sorry if I have been no help, Good luck
2006-11-30 11:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by tammy_l_r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I'm getting this right you already walked away and now are having 2nd thoughts?
If I'm right the only thing that would help you get over the hurt is go to Counseling together and see if you two can resolve the problem. Even if you decide not to get back together at least the regret should be solved and then you can move on with your life.
2006-11-30 10:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by babie919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT sounds like you both have trust issues and niether of you is willing to let it go and LEAVE it in the past. You won't be able to have a happy future together by living in the past and bringing up the past. It just causes arguments and is tiresome and wears on the relationship. If you both are unable to get past it and let it go, then I would strongly suggest moving on. It's not worth spending more years fighting and arguing just cause you love one another. Not worth being miserable over, but that's my personal advice. good luck to you.
2006-11-30 10:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If everything is truely as you say it is...I would stay....If he has not violated your trust since that time then find a way to forgive and move on....it sounds to me as if you share something together that is rare today and I would be very hesitant to let that go over something that is old and past. If you need to get some help (counseling) to move beyond it then do so....but think long and hard about quitting now....good luck
2006-11-30 10:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget and forgiving is a gift from God! One can forgive, but it's hard to forget. I feel this is how we learn the lessons of life for ourselves. When people show they are capable of a thing you can never put anything past them to return to that thing. You have listen & follow your heart. Seeing that you have already divorced walking away shouldn't be an issues. The past is in the past, and you can't change that. Start living for now.
2006-11-30 11:16:34 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's repeated constantly, never forgotten, or forgiven, MOVE ON. Your still young and rebuild, or not. But don't do this to yourself,and to him - think of your "child", and if you just can't resist - just resign yourself to it and get some counselling for your jealousy and trust issues. It really is up to you, the people here, like myself, can only give meaningless advice, as no one knows but YOU, we don't walk in YOUR shoes. Good Luck
2006-11-30 10:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may need to walk away from you until you forgive him and learn to trust. Seems like you keep beating him up and are stuck back there. Get some counseling move past this for both your sakes.
2006-11-30 10:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Boots4ACowgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i had a choice..i will stay...
and for you... why not give each other another chance...leave the past,focus on whats in the present and dont worry about the future coz its yet to happen...remember your hapy moments not th bad times....always forgive and forget but it depends on the situation though...we can only give you pieces of advice but the final call comes from you...its still your decision....
recall...weigh each situation..and decide...good luck
2006-11-30 11:07:59 · answer #10 · answered by maricor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋