Well, I seemed to have doven deep into depression... would it be wrong for me to end my life? [see details]?

Question

Many things have lead me to this...

... I feel like I cause everybody pain and hardship. It seems that no matter what I do, whatever decision I do(n't) make, it causes everyone I know horrible pain and anger and hurt.

My boyfriend, my step-father, my brother-in-law, my family, my friends, and even strangers...

... would the world be a better place without me?

Please, do me a favor, leave God out of this. Last time someone suggested to go to God when I was depressed, I actually went to a church, and they told me they didn't know what to do for me. I'm not going to try "God" or "G-d" or "Allah". Please. Leave religion out of this.

I want to kill myself because I feel that while the action of killing myself will hurt people, once I am gone, they will all ultimately be happy...

... should I kill myself? Would they all be happy?

Answer 1

Even I would not be happy, and I don't even know you.

I am dealing with a suicide of a very close loved one. You want to know what that does to me? Nightmares. Horrible guilt - even though, intellectually, I know it's not my fault - guilt is something almost all people feel when someone in their lives kills themselves. Depression. Tears. Anger.

That's all that killing yourself would do for the people in your life. Suicide is a selfish action. I suggest that you examine your motives for it a lot more closely, because it's really more about how you feel than how they feel. And please get help.

Answer 2

I'm an atheist so no god in my answer's perspective.

No matter what you feel you want to do, do not do this. It is never the answer. Survivors do not end up happy afterward, instead they are never the same. I just faced the three year mark of someone I care about more then anything having done what you are thinking. He still had a whole life ahead of him. There is so much he'll never even know or experience. And I wanted him as my own, but the chance never happened to find out if it could have been. I basically cried the first 5 1/2 months straight until I was just so cried out, but from there it still happened OFTEN, and three years later it still shows up sometimes. Sometimes it still hurts to the point I wonder why I'm still in this life. Holidays and other occasions are not fun anymore, they are sad and I dread it. Santa has yet to become real and give me the only wish I have...but can't have.

It's amazing how much hurts that you don't expect...even father's and mother's day hurt, knowing what his parents must have been feeling and that he'd never be a father himself. I just last week became older then he ever got to live...and that is just so wrong...

Trust me, your view of making everything so bad for everyone is largely just in your own perception. Depression can make you see it that way though. Please find someone to talk to about this, even a "professional" a few times as they can help you get your feelings straightened out and figure out how to try to get rid of it. Ending your life is never the answer.

Answer 3

You sound like you're going through a very dark time in your life. I know you're going to hear this from a lot of people, but I'll say it anyway: I've been there, too and I know how it feels to stand on the brink of that abyss. That being said, my answer is DON'T DO IT!

Your death will NOT make anyone happy. If you remove yourself from this world, you will leave a huge, gaping chasm in the lives of everyone who knows and loves you. Yes, they may go on with their lives, but there will always be a part of them that will remain incomplete. Maybe they won't get over it at all. Do you really want to hurt them that badly? Even worse than the incurable pain your suicide would cause them would be losing your life too early. Think of all the things you haven't done. Do you really want to miss out on them?

If something you have done has caused others pain, a sincere apology should suffice. Whether or not they choose to accept it is their problem! Try talking to your boyfriend about whatever has been going on. You need to work this out and you need a support group made up of the people who love you.

I am sending all my positive, healing thoughts your way. If a total stranger who has never seen you and probably never will is hurt by the prospect of you committing suicide, think of how those who know and love you would feel. It's really not worth it. Stay safe, stay alive and please, find happiness. Even a life that ends naturally after 100 years is too short. Make it worthwhile.

Answer 4

I have been there and I actually made the attempt………I am sooo grateful I didn’t succeed. After my attempt I was forced to seek help. I was on antidepressants for about two years………in that time I improved my living situation and learned how to better cope with my feelings.

That was 9 years ago. I have as good a life today as it was bad back then. Seek help from someone trained to help people in crisis, a psychiatrist or psychologist. If you need someone to talk to right now call:

1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255

or go here to find a number in your area.
http://suicidehotlines.com/

You can also click my pic and e-mail me if you would prefer. I am not a professional but I am human being and I have survived what you are feeling.

Answer 5

I was at the same place you are and I did try it. I took a massive overdose of a lot of pills. I was clinically dead by the time they got me to the hospital, and believe me all those that I thought would be happier to have me dead it did not work that way. I have even lost two of the people I loved the most in the world, my 18 and 14 yr old daughters. Go to the doctor and talk to him or get into some kind of therapy because what you put ever one through just is not worth it Trust me I've been there.

Answer 6

: ~) Suicide is an extreme action, there is much to live for maybe you just have not found it yet. Don't be so hard on yourself, were not perfect, were not supposed to be perfect. I could tell you all the messed up stuff i've done and you would probably feel better about yourself, but that would take forever. I don't know what you are going through, no one does, but these are immediate remedies I suggest. exercise and physical activity such as cardio vascular training and weights or playing sports, its proven that releasing endorphines makes one happier. Music and reading takes the mind of yourself and into the world around you, you need to forget about yourself for a while. find a hobbie, i like to play poker myself and go to baseballs games a get drunk, what do you like to do? get a pet like a dog or a cat, change your diet, lets eat more soul satisfying foods like cheeseburgers and meatloaf,if you already eat that stuff, then eat more organic stuff. if you've read this far then I will tell you a secret-MDMA don't be afraid and don't abuse, take a couple and you'll be cool, trust me. You need to have fun, just say f u ck it, who cares. A wise man told me not to take my self that seriously, you have to be able to laugh at yourself and realize what a loser you are. its ok , we all like this. remember that LOVE is why you are here, to find it and hopefully give it.

Answer 7

No you should not kill yourself and no it would not make your family and friends happy. Life is tough. We have to just get tougher. Go to the hospital right away and get some professional help. I have felt the same way, many times. I went to the hospital and they gave the RIGHT help I needed. I was thinking about things that really were not real. I was living alone, and staying away from people. I learned that my thoughts and assumptions of what other people were thinking were way off track because of a chemical imbalance. I took medicine for a while and now I don't. Please, you have a lot to offer, your just confussed right now. Seek some help.

Answer 8

of course you shouldn't kill yourself. i am probably not the best person to give advice, but i'll tell you how i see it.
if you think you are hurting those around you and can never make them happy, you may care too much about others happiness and too little about your own. the way that i have found to be happy is to put my happiness first and worry about everyone else later. the most important thing in life is self-gratification. if you piss them off in the process, oh well. who cares if you cause them pain and hardship, as long as you are happy. you must be the most selfish person you can be.
well, that's just my perspective.

Answer 9

well there is an equilevant....u don't have to kill ur self to get a break from life...dissappear for a while and u will see how that will affect ur surrender....and by dissapear i mean vanish and don't tell any one where r u going...if u r over 17....then try to catch up the llatest news..and see how every one ... is going to be mad
think about life in this way.....it s only gonna happen once...u will live in it in its bad and good moments....u r getting a chance to breath ....to be able to see....to ba able to feel....to be able to walk...those r gifts and miricles....many persons who have alot less gifts than u would give anything to be u.....in ur perfection.....if u don't want to go to church...i will tell u a hint that one of my suicidal frinds had tried...he went to a mosqe! and he asked for help from an muslim sheikh.....!!! that was a strange behaviour but he was sick from the tradditional ways of help because it didn't matter...the nicest thing that is that sheik has helped him...i don't know how...coz he didn't tell me...but he really got this idea out of his head...and started to look a live again.........in my mind u don't need cherch or a mosqe or even a therapest...just look at the sky and ask for hellp from ur deepest soul....try to look to the colors around u,...green grass blue sky...remember that the life s colorfull not only black and white....and know one thing if u did suicide there will be no way back...and u might miss all the charming things that r just one dark cloud far away!

Answer 10

Would killing yourself hurt others?Try to think of the people that would have to come to your funeral,they may think it is their fault.Somethings you can't take back.This would be one of them.
You are 16,and you may have more of a purpose than this intended for you.I am 14,and I am still trying to figure out where I am going to go in life,and what exactly I am to be.I think you have a greater purpose than to die like this.I can see by most of your posts you seem to have a kind spirit and good intentions,and that is really all that matters.