Married for 8 yrs w/ 2 grt girls. I'm a good provider, but due to ignoranace, I neglected her feelings & needs. 4 mnths ago, I was shocked when she said she doesn't love me anymore, and that I should set her free, I was confused. After reading about family, women & their needs, I realized that I caused her to feel that way. I explained to her my ignorance and willingness to change. Now changes are happening in the house, w/c she appreciates, but according to her love is not there anymore. After a few wks being down, but still in love with her, I decided to set her free. When I told her that, she cried and now dont want to leave. Now my problem, is we're still together but she doesn't treat me right, and is always irritated at me. Everyday that I'm showing my affection to her, causes me to get hurt more due to her unfair treatment. She can end our suffering now (either love me again or go). When will this end? Shes 33, is it biological? What's wrong with her? What else does she needs?
2006-11-30 10:36:22 · 10 answers · asked by Paranoid 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! You guys are great! Actually, she have a great job and can be on her own if she wants to. And she was a good wife, great mom & very pretty. She deserves all the love in the world. This is probably my karma for being an idiot this whole time. (This is what job turn us into (Robotic Idiots), and simply forget the real treasures we have).
I still feel the love in there (but not all the time). I know there's still hope specially with our kids around(our kids love us both & they will hurt if we separate), and I'm willing to fight for them. I just can't control feeling sorry for myself when I'm mistreated, ignored & avoided. Specially, when all the changes & kind things I'm doing for her, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. GM probably have a point on this. I talked to her about counseling and she's willing to go, she's just not comfortable talking to others about our problems, unlike me :-)
Anyway, thank you for the advises and wishes.
2006-11-30 14:49:15 · update #1
Counseling. Get counseling. It doesnt mean either of you are a faliure at marriage, if just means you need help to get through a rough patch.
2006-11-30 10:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you may say you have made all the changes to make her happy, may be there still is something lacking which she expects you to do and you are still being ignorant ( according to her). If what you say is true and have been ignoring her for years.. then couple of weeks of patience and work from your end may not be sufficient. She is irritated with you because you are not listening to what she says.
May be both of you need some time apart to clarify your mind. Take a break from each other, or atleast stop talking to each other for a week.
2006-11-30 10:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by G M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you're telling all of us, that she is worth the work, your time, your love, that you will do what ever it takes to make things right with her help, how ever long it takes. She seems to not trust that these changes in you are going to last, she's looking for an escape route in case it falls apart again. Keep going, get counseling. Sounds like you see the light and really love her. Good Luck
2006-11-30 10:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by Boots4ACowgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try couples counseling.
Both people need to put forth the effort for a marriage to work. It sounds like you have realized your mistakes and are working to correct them, which is good. It may be that this is her way of punishing you, it could be that she is afraid to be on her own, but it seems as though the two of you aren't communicating well and a counselor could help you resolve some issues.
Good luck!
2006-11-30 10:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by Mary L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what your dealing with. i'm truly dealing with an same right ingredient. Its been 3 years complete of heart discomfort for me. Like residing on an emotional curler coaster. we would chop up then get decrease back jointly. What i realized this time change into, the time that we were aside i change into truly happier, then when we were jointly. save in thoughts you're what's maximum significant. adult males will come and bypass. Do what makes you satisfied. Little issues, like i used to love Antonio Banderes in desperado. So i watched the action picture ate popcorn etc. also i concentration on the thanks to advance. the thanks to change right into a better ideal human being. the thanks to change right into a better ideal chum. the thanks to advance financially. existence is puzzling sufficient. do not spend a at the same time as focusing on someone who's maximum in all likelihood no longer wondering about you. save in thoughts your perfect and there are plenty adult males which will love you. **sturdy success** chicka!
2016-10-08 00:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know the history, but it sounds like she didn't want you to let her go...it was a test to see how much you were willing to fight for your relationship and to make her happy. so if you love her, fight for it. show her (with your actions) that you do not want to live without her or the family you all have made together. there is still hope (& it sounds like a lot of love)....women want to be CHERISHED and feel APPRECIATED! = ) the more love you show, the better she will treat you- she'll starting giving love back to you again...
2006-11-30 10:45:39 · answer #6 · answered by s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think counseling could be helpful here. Perhaps a third party can help you two to learn to communicate with each other.
2006-11-30 11:17:58 · answer #7 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me...like she is wanting her a_ss kissed a lil' bit! you offered to set her free but she didn't want to go. then she needs to quit with the attitude and treat you like her husband again. she is prob. not working and has no money to leave on an be on her own. so quit being used!
2006-11-30 10:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are confused and Counseling should help fix your problems (marriage or divorce)
2006-11-30 10:47:49 · answer #9 · answered by babie919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are really in need of some counseling here...
2006-11-30 10:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋