D/s relationship- Only for the Emotionally Damaged?

Question

*PLEASE READ BEFORE ANSWERING*
I'm just curious here. I'm not even going to present my own opinion.

Some people believe that a Dominant/submissive relationship can exist as part of a couple's healthy sex life. Others believe that the only people who engage in this behavior are somehow emotionally "damaged," or that a D/s relationship is ALWAYS harmful to its participants.

I'm not talking about sadists and masochists. I'm only talking about D/s relationships. And I mean the entire specturm of these relationships: servant, slave, bedroom-only, submissive, scening, etc.

Feel free to leave any opinion, but i'm really only interested in people who want to give me a serious, well thought-out answer. Preferably from people with a background in psychology or are/ have experience with members of the BDSM community.

Please no: "Sickos" or "Please find Jesus."

So, tell me: D/s relationship: only for the emotionally confused, or possible part of a healthy sexual relationship?

Answer 1

Yes, I think it can be part of a healthy relationship -- as long as it is absolutely consensual. I think this is particularly true if the relationship has a limited scope, either in time or place (i.e., confined to a specific time frame or a specific place, like the bedroom). A 24/7 all-places D/s relationship may be very sincere, but is so impractical that it may approach pathological behavior.

Partners should reflect open and honestly on what both want from such a relationship, and upon what each gets from it. If this happens, it is a healthy relationship despite societal norms that suggest otherwise.

And look at it this way: how many "normal" relationships have you seen that are completely dysfunctional? Healthy relationships are about honesty and communication, regardless of other behaviors.

Answer 2

I believe this is much like anything else: it can be healthy, or not. Ideally, a sexual relationship should be the aspect of a person's life where they can be most honest about who they really are and what they really want/need. It's very interesting to me that someone could think that consentual power exchange is unhealthy. God knows we are subjected to nonconsentual power relations on a daily basis, many of them unacknowledged. I believe that an intentional power relationship can be a way to "make peace" with so many of the power exchanges that are not healthy in our world.

Answer 3

yes and no.

some with past issues enjoy such activities and so because of their past- this can be bad and can be fine. as long as people recognize why they are doing this and that it's not therapy (provided its not hurting any other parts of their life) then its okay.

some people also so it just for the change. many business women with loads of pressure, who have to give orders all day long, like to chill out and change roles. they like to be told what to do and not have to think ahead or make descisions. or visa/versa