Hey,
I'm 30 weeks pregnant and really stressed out. Well this first 27 weeks I was for sure that I was going to keep my baby. But I'm 15.. Not that I don't have my boyfriend, but it is still a big responsibility.My boyfriend knows he wants this baby 100 percent, He has no doubt in his mind. He is 18 though. My dad really wants to me give the baby up for adoption though because he knows that I wont have a normal high school life and he really wants me to look back at it with no regrets like he did. The pastor at my church wants the baby really bad.. He is really well off and has a really stable home life.. I know he can give my baby a lot.. I'm really trying not to be selfish here. But this is my baby .. I'm scared that I will regret giving her up.. My dad said that I can sign the papers even if eddy (the father) dosent at first. But I'm so confused. If I do keep my boyfriend has a good job to support us both easily. But im still confused. I want to do somthing that I know I want.
2006-11-30 10:17:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My boyfriend is in college in Pre-Med. He has a job at a clinic making 12.00 an hour.. And that is his starting payment.
2006-11-30 10:19:05 · update #1
Because if the father keeps it he will be mad and wont let me see my baby..
2006-11-30 10:21:41 · update #2
I think that is something you have to decide and I think you already have. I think you want this baby! I think you should keep it and especially if he wants it too. He has rights over anyone but you too the baby soo.. that that your dad said is not true about he can not do anything bout it. I would do what your heart says and only you know that .. a child does not need a ton of money they need love!!!
2006-11-30 10:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by mommy of 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there - You really need to discuss the benefits and drawbacks of placing your baby for adoption with the father of the baby. You are both really young to have a baby, but this is a decision that no one can make for you.
There are some things to consider: If you don't place your baby for adoption, will your dad be supportive? Will you still have a place to live? Also, in most states, you can't sign papers until the baby is born, but you can sign even if your boyfriend doesn't agree. If your boyfriend doesn't agree with your adoption plan, he will have to go to court to prove that he has supported you and the baby during your pregnancy. Another thing to consider is if you did give the baby up, how would you feel seeing the baby at your church? Some women would be OK with that, but personally, I would not want to be that close without actually parenting.
If I were you, I would contact an adoption agency (along with your boyfriend, of course) to see what your options are. They will be able to answer any questions that you or your boyfriend may have, and if you both decide to place your baby for adoption, you can be as involved in the process as you want. Most agencies / attorneys will even allow you to choose a family, and decide how much contact you want with the family (if any) before and after you have the baby.
One more thing - I have placed a child for adoption. Almost 10 years ago. Twelve bucks an hour may seem like a lot of money now, but it will be really really really hard to support a family of 3 on that. I really miss the baby that I placed, but I have an open adoption, and I get letters and pictures of him a couple of times a year. It was really hard at first, but knowing that he has such a stable family that loves him with all of their hearts makes it bearable.
2006-12-01 00:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by techie_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just getting a little scared because you getting closer to you due date. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and talk about the way you are feeling. Be honest and open with your choices. You are young, but you can do this as well. Adoption isn't the easiest thing to do but keeping the baby is not going to be easy either. You need to really think and weight your option out. Your father has no control over what happens, it is up to you and the baby's father. You will never regret keeping your baby. It will only make you a stronger person. I gave up college for a few years because I had a little girl. It is hard to continue with my goals now but I can do it. And so can you. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders so you need to really think about the whole situation.
2006-11-30 18:42:06 · answer #3 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a very big desion, and it needs to be yours. not your dads and not your baby's father. If you are not sure, DON'T SIGN ANYTHING. You can keep your baby and try to raise it yourself and if you decide that it's to much for you or that you don't want to deal with the responsibility, you can always put her up for adoption later. If you sign the papers before you give birth, you probably won't even get to see her after she's born, they'll take her away as soon as she's born and that will be the end. You never know how strong of a bond you'll have with that baby until you give birth to her and hold her in your arms. Their are highschools out their with daycares in them so you can get your education. Their are many moms who have given their baby's up for adoption and have regreted it, i'm sure thats not a regreat you dad wants you to make either. I'll be praying for you, and good luck.
2006-12-01 00:52:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats good he has a job but your 15 your the mother, you will always have to be there every second! He hasn't grown up yet at 18 he could change at anytime. There are adoptions where you make sure you are involved with the baby and the baby knows your the mother. Call health and welfare so you make sure you have legal writen papers stating you are to be a part of the babies life. Good luck! Do whats best for the baby!
2006-11-30 18:22:20 · answer #5 · answered by nicsgirlus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are going to have to sign for the baby to be given up for adoption. Just because the Pastor wants your baby does not mean that this is a good thing. Your baby will be in eyesight, but you won't be able to have anything to do with him/her. Do what is right for you and your baby. Good luck.
2006-11-30 18:38:00 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the father has to sign the papers saying that hes willing to give the baby up for adoption but if hes not willing to sign you will not be able to give up the baby up for adoption why dont you let the father have the baby he wants it
2006-11-30 18:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by jennifertrinitysky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all....sit back and take a breather....if you dont relax your could hurt your baby and thats not good for any of you....you need some time alone to think of what you want....what goals do you want to have in life?...not your dad, not your boyfriend, and certainly not your pastor at church but what do YOU want out of life....and does it include this baby....if you want it, its yours....if you dont then find a place for it....
2006-11-30 18:21:59 · answer #8 · answered by sarah-bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋