Do you think it's important for a wife to stay fit and attractive for her husband? more.....?

Question

Do you think it's right for a husband to with-hold sex from his wife if he finds himself no longer attractedto her because she has gained weight??

I am only 4ft10 and 124 lbs. He is fit. And as far as divorcing him goes, that aint gonna happen because i've been married and divorced once b4 already and i dont want that to happen again, i am only 27. ANd i have had 2 kids with the ex.

Answer 1

I am afraid to say that it is important. The first time you met it was probably all about how they looked, first impressions etc. So now that one of you have put on a little weight, it will effect things. People keep visual memories of each other which creates a lasting expectation. Both of you need to be sensitive about the situation. The weight gainer may be feeling at a low anyway and for the other person to shunt them because of this can actually make the person more depressed and eat more etc etc. At the end of the day you should love each other for what you can give each other not the way you look, but in this day in age where looks are everything it doesn't work that way.

HOpe that helps

Answer 2

I'm on my second pregnancy. I lost all my pregnancy weight after the first child was born, but of course it took a long time. And even though I was actually a few pounds under what I had weighed when I got pregnant the first time, I still couldn't quite wear the same clothes. My body shape changed. Then there were the stretch marks and everything else that comes with a pregnancy. You better believe if my husband withheld sex from me, or on a lesser scale, if he just didn't act attracted to me anymore, he'd either whip into shape fast or I'd get out even faster. I think it's important to take care of yourself (what hubby like to come home to a wife in pajamas with no makeup on?), but circumstances will make your body change, and your hubby will love you no matter what if he's really in love with you. Otherwise he is a shallow jerk and deserves to be ditched.

Answer 3

That's a tough question. I don't think it's fair to either person, if you are no longer physically attracted to your partner, it makes it hard to get turned on and in the mood to be intimate with them. I don't think that physical apperance should be the sole factor in any relationship, but do think it's important to live a healthy lifestyle. Now if there is a medical condition that has caused the person to gain weight and there isn't much they can do to lose it, I don't think it's okay to with hold sex. But if the person is eating jack in the crack, donuts and deep fried everything, doing nothing to lose the weight, then I would hold out sex. I'm not saying anyone has to be a hardbody, but don't let yourself go just because you are married - stay fit and be that sexy couple that everyone is jealous over!

Answer 4

No.
I think that its important to stay fit and attractive for oneself. Allowing your daily life to pound you into an unfit unattractive person means that your daily life needs a tune up.
Your husband should be a good source of aid here. Ask him to help and if you must point to this answer. My wife has gained many pounds (due to the pressures of 10 hour a day work and ten hour a day school) working on a lifetime goal, but I have every confidence that she will lose the extra weight when time permits and I will help.

Answer 5

Two different questions here to me. I think that it is fair for a husband to expect his wife to stay fit and attractive, just as a wife expects certain things from her husband, such as him staying fit and also attractive and not changing as a person because a ring was put on his finger. I think that shows that you care about yourself and also care about maintaining the spark in your marrage.

Now a guy who is with holding sex well this all depends. If he honestly isn't physically attracted to you anymore then it is probably better that he doesn't fake it. However, he shouldn't be abusive to you by calling you names (like fat) or anything like that, he should support you and help you as a person.
If he is with holding sex from you as punishment again that is not correct, he is supposed to love who you are which is inside and out.

It is one thing to be worried about someones health or just generally not being attracted to a certain body type (the second one is shallow, but men are very visual creatures).

I think though, that you know who deep his love goes. What if you were in an accident and completely disfigured, this man obviously is not the type who will stay with you through thick and thin. However, you didn't say that he said he didn't love you anymore, maybe he just is not finding you very attractive at the moment. It's not a nice situation to be in, but I don't think he is wrong for being honest with you. If he is generally a supportive loving man and he is good to you with this exception, then getting yourself in shape isn't a bad idea.

If he is a selfish man who doesn't take care of himself and doesn't provide for you the way he did when you first got together, well I'd say get in shape (for yourself), and find a new better man who isn't as shallow as your current one.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

What is with these guys Deb? cant they see how lucky they are to have a lady at home that thinks they are the be all and end all .
Why do they assume that the woman they married will look like the day they met them. Its called maturing or aging if you prefer . it means that gravity will pull anything that extends an inch over vertical towards the ground and tight skin will become less elastic and yes heavens forbid a few pounds may find their way onto our hips and stomach, are yo going to complain and hold back sex if his hair starts to thin or he is having trouble raising the ladder No because you love him you will be UNDERSTANDING, yes there it is the word he isn't being UNDERSTANDING.

Answer 7

No I don't think it's right for husband to refuse sex with his wife due to her weight gain. It's too harsh, too shallow and too mean. For better and worse, remember that anybody?

But I think it's is nice (not important though) for a wife to stay fit for her husband (and vice versa) 80% of the reasons to stay fit should go to herself. She should do it for herself to feel great about her body. Another 20% goes to husband and yes, I'd expect the husband to do the same. Like I said I don't think it's important, but a nice thing to do for each other. It's a two way street.

Answer 8

Yes and No! If the shoe were on the other foot would you hold out on him? I'd probably say you would (simple). If you help him by changing your eating habits and maybe get a little exercise he may find you more attractive otherwise get divorced. Who wants to sleep with someone who doesn't care about them self. I'm trying to get your attention, do I have it? Start a diet and exercise a little and he'll be wanting you instead of you trying to get some and he doesn't want any. Try it, I'm sure you'll be okay! Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Everything changes with age even our body's. As time goes by you have to accept the facts none of us stays young and fit for ever. If you feel good about yourself then that should be good enough.
As far as the sex goes no its not right to say he is not attracted to you. Just a little crazy if you ask me. Something like this you have to ask yourself is he married to you as your still the same person. Or is he married to this little slim fit sexy girl that grow-ed into a woman over time?

Don't let him treat you like that good luck!!

Answer 10

I do feel that we owe it to our spouse (and ourselves) to work on being as fit and healthy as possible. To not do so seems to show a lack of respect for the other's feelings. There's not much a person can do if they're not really attracted to someone anymore. They can still be affectionate, but I think it's hard for a man to fake it, isn't it? Love and sexual attraction are two different issues, after all.