What are your thoughts on tipping?

Question

Was just thinking and looking for an opinion. My ex-bf only tips a max $2 per meal. We went to this restaurant just before we broke up, he wined & dined me...I mean, oysters on the 1/2 shell w/caviar and vodka, drinks, wonderful dinner, etc...and we had the waiter running.
The bill came to almost $300 and he was only going to leave the waiter $10....when I said I'll leave the tip and left $50, he said I embarassed him. Who should be embarassed - a cheap tipper?
I believe in tipping on service provided and not necessarily the 15% rule, but still leave more than $2 on a $20 meal.
What are your thoughts??

I should tell you that the meal was in Seattle and it was a great dinner and the waiter went out of his way to take care of us. I, personally, do tip on how service was. He's a poor tipper and we have discussed the tipping issue. He feels that waiters/waitresses get paid a wage just like anyone else.

Answer 1

I always tip no matter what, unless the service was so terrible and the food so disqusting that I couldn't eat it. I agree with you on tipping according to service... but I never leave less than a 5 dollar tip, waiters, waitresses, hostesses, and busers work really hard and they live off of their tip money... average wage for a waitress is $2.63 an hour... yet they bust their a s s to serve people all day long, I think that they deserve a decent tip.

You were right in leaving a fifty for a three hundred dollar bill, and I'm not suprised that you and that guy ended up breaking up, you have stronger values than he does and it can show up in little things like tipping.

By the way, I also strongly believe in tipping pizza delivery people... they go out in the cold, put miles on their car and deliver to your home so that you are able to take care of the things that you need to without leaving... For the convenience alone, I think they deserve at least 3 bucks, if not more.

Answer 2

I used to work as a waiter, a cook, a prep-cook, and as a cashier. Those jobs aren't the most fun in the world depending on the crowd you get and the place your work. So I tend to give back and give those people a break.

My feeling is that if a waiter is good, I give 20%. If they suck, I give 15% on the dot on the penny.

I never blame waiters for mistakes made in the kitchen. If the food sucks, it's not their fault (unless they didn't place the right order).

Additional to this, if I am in a diner I tend to tip even more, percentage-wise, because the people who work in those places work a LOT harder to earn less money. In a high-priced restaurant, I never go above 30% unless something truly exceptional was done for our service. The reason is, on a $300 check, I would be paying $90. At a diner, for a waitress or waiter who might spend as much time and effort with a bill that comes to $30, I pay them $9 (if I just give 20%)... see the difference? That's why I pay more when someone works harder for the cash.

Your ex-bf is cheap and I'm glad he's an ex- because he sounds like tool.

Answer 3

Your nicname is very apt. Your ex bf was absolutely right. The waiter was doing his job and gets paid. If there is a 15% service charge then his boss already charged you and if he didn't run around would not be doing his job. In fact if his service made you spend more or go back again then the service charge pays him extra anyway as it is a proportion of the bill.

50 dollars is ridiculous and is almost certainly more about you showing off or trying to humiliate your boyfriend that about true gratitude.

Tipping is condescending. You don't tip a prompt and efficient cashier at the supermarket or the guys working on your elecrtic lines so why should you see a pricelist (the menu) with a service charge then make like a big shot and throw 50 dollars down too.

Answer 4

Hi, My boyfriend is a cheap tipper also. I too add money to his tip, although he is getting better. He asks me now how much he should leave. I believe in tipping 15 percent and if the service is extra good, a dollar more will do. I also believe if the service is bad or the waiter is rude I won't tip, but that does not happen very often. Waiters depend on their tips as their hourly wage is sometimes below minimum wage. They have to claim their tips and it is based on their food tickets, so a cheap tipper is actually costing the waiter money.

Answer 5

As a long time bartender and server, i can definately speak from experience that tipping varies from person to person. In most places now, servers view a 18-20% as customary. Many people don't realize that a $5, or in this case, $2 tip is not always appreciated. A $5 tip on a $20 check is fine. A $5 tip on $100 check is a slap in the face.
The tip should of course reflect the service, with excellent service being rewarded with 20% plus. Poor service should still be tipped around 10%, and if there was an issue with the server, notify a manager. This almost always will help the situation, if it doesn't, place a phone call to the general manager or corporate headquarters.
As for fancy dinners as you spoke of, prepare to have to tip accordingly. Many people don't realize that that server in turn must tip out a busser, a server's assistant, a bartender, etc. at the end of the night. If you cannot afford to dine out, please don't.
Servers and bartenders are trying to make a living, and the majority of them don't get paid high hourly wages, so they depend on their tips, not their paychecks, to put food on the table.

Answer 6

Wow he was going to only tip 3% what a dick! Especially if he had the waiter waiting on you guys hand and foot like that.

I always tip 15% regardless and as much as 30%. Those people work hard and depend on the tips for their livelyhood. I would rather tip generously than give $5 to a crack head begging for money to use on his next fix.

If that guy doesn't want to tip - then he shouldn't eat out in America. Perhaps he would like France - they are rude there and don't use tipping - however they pay their waiters a fairer wage.

Answer 7

For a $300 meal, $50 sounds high despite being ~17%, and $10 is way too little.

A good rule of thumb is 20% on the meals, $1 per drink, $2 per bottle (750ml, etc) and maybe a little more if they did well, a little less if they sucked.

Obviously it's more embarassing to under tip. $10 on a $300 meal should get you listed.

Answer 8

I generally go 15% on the post tax amount for expected service. More for excellent service and less for poor service. However, bitterwaitress.com (a website of waiters and waitresses) thinks that below 17% is a poor tip and they expect 20% or better! I think they're getting a little greedy! 10% used to be the accepted tip. I'm still sticking with 15% +/-

Also for your ex-bf, waiters/waitresses do get paid, but in the US, their minimum wage for waitstaff is lower than it is for everyone else, thus they may get paid less than everyone else. I think they should raise them up to what everyone else is. This business of waiters/waitresses depending on tips is ridiculous. Having to spend an extra 25% makes one just want to cook everything themselves anymore. Tips should be a reward for good service, not a vital portion of ones income. That's it for my soapbox.

Answer 9

I am a waiter. I've been a waiter for quite a few years. I've worked in quite a few restaurants and every place is different. But I have always had to tip out my bussers, bartenders, and food runner. Occasionally, there's other tip outs as well, like credit card charges and setup fees for the ones who get the place ready to go. But at my current job, this is how that $300 check and $10 tip would work for me....


$300 x 4% for bussboys and bar.......$12
flat $4 for foodrunner and setup.........$4
$10 x 3% for c.c. charge on my tips.....$0.30

total price I pay for you to eat there....$16.30
minus his $10 tip.................................$6.30

Sweet! I only had to pay a little over 6 dollars for you to eat there. Of course theres other variables too.That $4 tip out is a nightly charge and that takes care of all my tables, but if its slow and you're my only table it could suck. Also, I pay taxes like everyone else. They come out of my check. At $2.13 an hour(waiter wage at every place Ive every worked at in Texas), most waiters get VOID checks if they make alot of cash. And most likely will owe quite a bit of money at the end of the year.

Then, of course, theres my personal feelings. But I wont get into that. Except for this. Waiters hate verbal tips too. I would rather have a 10% tip than listen to someone for 5 minutes tell how wonderful everything and how great I was and find a 15% tip. I dont work for compliments. If it was really great, show me. I only made it great because Im trying to get paid. Not because I really, really just want you to be happy, from the bottom of my heart.

We are an important part of your dining experience. We can make your night go well. Or we can make it can go bad. It can be fun and relaxed. Or your waiter can leave you alone to be romantic. It can be funny or weird. Or it can be boring. Its never the same if you take the time to notice. So the tip should never be the same either. Dont tip a flat rate regardless of the experience, tip according to the service. And keep enjoying yourself dining out America, you fatasses. I love you for it.

Answer 10

I think tipping got out of hand, It use to be if you provide good service you get tipped and tipped well if service was bad you got nothing, but now days everybody gets tip.
Starbucks has tip bowl, give me a break. Customer service has gotten really bad over the past 10 years, I feel like I'm lucky to get anything for my money, I still tip waiters 15% if service was really good, if it was excellent I'll give more but if I'm unhappy forget it.
Also if the food id bad I will return the food and refuse to pay but I will still tip the waiter if he or she provided good service. I shouldn't feel forced to tip I want to tip based on the service provided