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i cant take it no more. what am i suppose to do. i explained my problem but it doesn't mean anything to them after a bit. they all forget and pressurise me again and again. i feel like i want to die. i already have 4 long term illnesses like depression, urine incontinence cos of stress, PMS and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and as if that isnt enough for the past 10 yrs, i have had a mother who has been ill with muscle pain and cant lift, carry and do things in the house so i have thye cooking, cleaning, washing machines, ironing, hoovering, shopping and everything to do and on top all these tutors are killing me by expecting work to be handed in on time. how the hell am i as a 22 yr old going to survive. i have no job for money either. what do they think i am, super human? i feel sooooo ill. i tell them and it only means something when i cry otherwise its not taken seriously enough. why?

2006-11-30 09:37:53 · 13 answers · asked by allgiggles1984 6 in Education & Reference Higher Education (University +)

13 answers

Please phone your doctor immediately, Ask for an urgent appointment. The Doctor whether you are on campus or at home, can refer you to social services for assistance.
You may be able to take a year out , but that needs discussing with your college/university
Life is short enough without finding new ways to make it shorter. Nothing on this earth is worth making yourself ill over.
Whilst you are going through a really bad time now, you will miss out on how good and beautiful life can be, so please do not end your life. You can get the help you need but sometimes we just do not know where to begin. I hope this will be a new beginning, for your mum and you

2006-11-30 12:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by rochelle m 2 · 2 0

Well when I did my degree I had depression, OCD and was an alcoholic. I basically couldn't take it. If I had been allowed to change course then I would have actually been able to pass as I was only having problems with a small number of my modules.

What I would seriously reccomend is changing to do a part time course. Also as your mother is esentially disabled you should be given a carer's allowance by your local council.
This would give you more time and some money. Although the course would take twice as long you would beb able to cope with the reduced workload a lot better.

I hope this advice makes sense to you and I hope you don't just drop out - believe me giving up does nothing for your self esteem. I am planning to take another degree in 2008 and pass this time.
Good luck!

2006-11-30 17:45:29 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymanelvis 7 · 5 0

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I would seriously consider doing part-time coursework. You can only handle so much! That being said, professors and tutors cannot make too many exceptions about work being turned in on time. Other people have tough times, too (albeit the majority probably aren't having as tough a time as you are). They cannot let one person by with an easier time getting their grade and then be harder on the rest of the class, it isn't fair. Also, professors have deadlines to have their grades turned in, just like students have deadlines, and they can get into a lot of trouble if they don't get it done on time. I am sorry for your situation - and I would seriously consider going part time if I were you. You have to take care of yourself. You need to find someone you can talk with on a regular basis and is it possible that your mother is eligible for some kind of outside help?

Hang in there - you will get through this. Best of luck.

2006-11-30 17:54:38 · answer #3 · answered by Amy J 3 · 2 0

Depression, PMS and OCD can all be treated, often with the same medication (SSRI's - Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors like Prozac and Paxil) Urinary incontinence because of stress? Never heard of that one... but if you remove the stress with the SSRI's that might cease as well and if not, there's always the older antidepressants that are actually used now for urinary incontinence, even in children.

It's hard to have had to shoulder a great deal of responsibility at age 12. I know. I did it. The way you have to cope with that one is through counseling with a qualified psychotherapist. It's probably a large part of what's triggered your depression to begin with.

My suggestion would be to cut your class load back as much as you can and still get funding for being a full time student (assuming you receive financial aide) and make sure you're getting proper treatment for your own issues so that you can better cope with your life situation.

Once you're able to graduate and get a job, consider paying someone to come in and help with housework so you're not burdened with all of that yourself. In the meantime, try to get help from wherever you can... family... friends... social service agencies that might help because of your mother's disability status.

If you have an extra room, consider trading room and board for a person to keep house and help your mother. This would give you more free time to study. If you're in the USA, try http://www.craigslist.com I'm not sure if there's Craigslist for other countries... but you could check. Lots of folks want to barter time and energy instead of merchandise and cash, so consider those options.

2006-11-30 17:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 2 0

It is a question of what YOU really want to do.

Do you really want to finish your education? If so, you will do whatever it takes. I had to work 25 hours per week, barely scraping buy, going to school full time, hardly got any sleep, lived on chocolates, soft drinks, and clove cigarrettes, but I did whatever it took. I am a lawyer now.

You have to determine what your dreams are. What do you really want to do in life? Once you determine that, decide what steps you need to take to make your dream come true. Write out those steps and make a plan with a definitive timetable.

Don't give up. You are still very young, with your whole life ahead of you. You should realize, too, helping your mother is a very noble, and honorable thing to do, and I respect and admire that. Your reward shall come. Keep plugging away.

2006-11-30 17:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by Jack C 5 · 0 1

... and on top of all of this, you find the time to post questions on Yahoo! You're AWSOME!

The feeling like you want to die is probably a symptom of the obvious stress you are under.
Seriously, you need to prioritise.
Find out what is more important to you.
Degrees can wait.

You probably already have but please see your GP, get a referral for at very least, some counselling. If your GP won't refer you, change your GP.

The thought which has helped me sidestep the whole killing-myself business is:
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".
Somewhat akin to avoiding a door-to-door salesman by burning your house down. Not sensible. Just wait, the salesman will go away.

Relax, stay sane, get help.
Good luck, and I wish you well.

2006-11-30 17:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by chopchubes 4 · 1 1

Speak to your tutor about a gap year, use this year to contact the social services for home care for your mother to ease your burden at home and to get counselling for yourself. There is plenty of help out there do not feel bad about asking for it.
You can also get financial support for homecare. When the pressure is off redo your course work and get back on track in your own time and if you feel up to it and everything at home is sorted go back to college and enjoy it as your are supposed to.
Good luck

2006-11-30 17:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1 0

Honey, a lot of people have things bad these days. You are not alone at all. I am working on my second Master's degree, and sometimes the work itself is depressing.
Add to that all the other issues and to be honest, I sometimes want to run away. But, I stay with it, knowing things will be better as time goes on.
Every course I complete, every degree does indeed make things better--I am more liberated, more able to do things for myself and others.
So, I say hang in there, find people to talk with, and if necessary, get a little help with your school work. I have known others who succeed under heavy burdens.
You are welcome to email me, maybe I can help. I am willing to share all the tools I have with you.
Also, you could talk with a doctor or counselor, maybe they will have ideas to help you.
A BIG hug from afar!
Charles

2006-11-30 18:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0 1

sounds like an existential why....not sure where to begin. hang in there, hope someone can give you a good bit of advice and help

2006-11-30 17:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by Super G 5 · 0 1

the general public dont take people very serious most of the time...why would they? they think you are just making up excuses for this or that...id think the same...just do what you can and except your life for what it is...things get so bad then they tend to get better...your life could be better sure but every one has issues its not just you...count your blessings because things could actually be much worse too

2006-11-30 17:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0 4

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