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what do you think about this stroty so far

Dear diary,
Today sucked my mom hit me agian god i wish she would stop doing drugs and drinking all the time ever since she met Rob her pimp she's changed so used to be a normally heatly girl now she skinky whore with nothing better to do then get high and have sex with random guys for money.i wish my dad never left us!god all any one cares about is them sevles they don't give a crap about somthing thats different from their thoughts of whats nromally anything else is just plain wrong and evil if it dosen't fit their high standreds maybe my mom would actual own a house or atlest this trailer instead of speaning hermoney on drugs i wish kids at school weren't such jerks and closed mined and actual opend there eyes long enough to realixe we are all the same deep doen inside well all have feelings but atlest i've got Benji he the coolest on the freaking the only reason i haven't ran away from this hell hole.he says things will get better.

2006-11-30 09:16:47 · 3 answers · asked by ( : 1 in Arts & Humanities Books & Authors

i hope he's right
well gota go my yelling for me to buy her a pack of cigs and whrn i don't she get mad and strats throwing things or worse taking her anger out on me
later
10-31-99

11-1-99
i just got a call chrildren service they want to take me to an orphange and sue my mom!god this sucks!!what am i going to do with out Benji?he's been my best firend and only friend since we 3 freaking years old!!maybe i can stay with him and his for awhile or maybe i can convince the court that the nieghbors(the ones who reported my mom) were makeing it up so i can stay here.i mean its not the best place ever but its the only one i know...oh..great moms home with Rob maybe they won't notice i'm here when i should be at school..
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"velma hunny your not makeing me enuff money to stay in my buissnuse so you either make more $cash or your fired!"Rob says to my mom.
"but...but..its hard to make 1,000 dalloers a night and have some left over to buy drugs and and

2006-11-30 09:17:54 · update #1

food!"velma repliles
"look you know the price its pays when you asked me to be your pimp hun so lay off the drugs and make me some cash!"
"but what if i want to quit doing drugs and being a streetwalker?"
velma snickers back
"well you should of thought of that before i became your pimp now thew only way you can get out is if i fire you!!you ungratefully whore!!"Rob says before he slaps her and stroms out of the tralier.......God i gotta get out of here before i wind up like my mom...alone and doped up all the time..............
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last night i told benji about what the phone call i got earlier yesterday moring.he told me i could stay there if i wanted to but now i don't think that shuch a good udea since he lives near the mofia's hiding spot that no one is suposed to know about the last person that found out was found about a week later in dumpster near hawthaway high(where me and benji go to school) pretty freaky i know but then agian it might

2006-11-30 09:18:42 · update #2

but then agian it might be for me to not hang around here with Rob acting that way.......yesterday he even slaped me for breathing!! i just don't know what to the way things are these days i told i'd think aboout......

2006-11-30 09:19:20 · update #3

3 answers

its a little strong but interesting

2006-11-30 09:18:48 · answer #1 · answered by Cayleen O 3 · 0 0

Uh, I guess plot-wise it has some potential. But, as far as the grammar, spelling and sentence structure, it needs a GREAT amount of work.

2006-11-30 17:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by Faye 2 · 0 0

nice, try to correct the grammar and everything. Give us more sensory details, that would be nice.

2006-12-01 00:22:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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