Relationship Gone Bad...please read and HELP!?

Question

I have been separated from my husband of 5 years for about 6 months. Our relationship got really bad & he started to hit me. I left him and I took our son who is 4, moved to another city with my family. Well, i have been talking to my husband for some time & he has been going through couseling & has made changes & is trying to better himself. He of course wants us back. Well, I tell him that we need time to figure things out and i need for him to prove that he's really changed. Well for X-Mas my son and i are going to Disney World for a week and this is like a DREAM vacation for us (my hub & i always wanted this vacation). i told him & he asked if he could go with us. i said yes but with many conditions. well he already bought his tickets and everything is ready to go. Do you think that I should let him? I am afraid of many things that could go wrong or if they don't, i know that i will be in much more pain when i have to come home w/o him. please help and tell me what i should do...

Answer 1

This is a good thing, You two will meet on neutral ground which gives neither one a clear advantage. This will give you a chance to see if he has really changed and then you will be able to move on with your future with or without him. Go and have a good time with your son at least. Disney is a good place as they wont put up with him if he starts anything, but give him a chance to prove himself and put your mind at rest. Good luck

Answer 2

If you think there is somthing to salvage, Then it might not be a bad idea. Usually you can get a good idea of how much someone has changed by spending some safe time with them, and by safe, I mean in a crowded place. And after 5 years you should be able to tell if he's made any progress since you left as far as his rage is concerned. Who know him better then you? right...
And if things go wrong, after the week is over you never have to see him again.

Answer 3

Hate to break it to you, but you're clearly not in a relationship with this person. Yeah, he's twenty-six, but for the simple fact that he was able to hook some naive girl is all the turn on. It could be a sign though. Maybe he knows he's too immature and women his age don't put up with his sh*t. However, because you're the "fresh meat" he knows that you'll think he's mature just because teens like the idea of an older man because they assume he has more experience. And more mature. And you said there's not a commitment, but you're exclusively dating? Honey,... he's f*cking another chick. Why? Because he can. And obviously if he wanted a commited relationship, he'd be commited to you. Don't take this the wrong way, but he doesn't want to be commited to you. He wants to keep his options open. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. And he'll continue to do so with or without you. Look and open your eyes.

Answer 4

Do you still love him after he has hit you? How many times has he hit you? If he has attended anger management classes and completed the program along with extensive counseling and you can see that he has changed. If I were in this situation I would probably schedule an appointment for the both of you to visit his therapist and see what they had to say. After you have done all of the above and only then I would spend time with him before the vacation to see how he acts. If he has been abusive to you many times and there are drugs or alcohol involved then go to Disney with your son on your own. Once again do not allow him to go with you unless he has had extensive therapy, I would not want you to get hurt and have him ruin your trip.

Answer 5

He has no right to push and rush things. If you do not feel comfortable with him there you should tell him to get a ticket refund. He cannot have changed this quickly. Even if you do go with him, getting back together this soon is not healthy. You are setting yourself up for more of the same things. Insist he stay with counseling and go on the vacation with your son by yourself. He should not be rewarded for bad behavior

Answer 6

this is a life and life gives every body so many chances so why not giving ur husband one more chance mariage is just like clapping u cant clap in the air with one hand u need both hands to clap so give him another chance but should be the last one he is husband and a father of your kid just think about it no body is mr 100 percent in this world and u r not miss 100 percent so think positive about ur self and ur husband take all bad things out from ur mind every body have bad times and good times in every relations

Answer 7

I'd make sure you are never alone with him. Meeting at a public place is a good idea. He need to earn you back very slowly. If he ever raises a hand to you again, tell him you will never ever see him again. He gets only 1 chance to prove himself, no more excuses.

Answer 8

i think that you should let him go with you. you said your self that he is really making an effort to change. besides the fact that you and him together dreamed of doing this.beside i think that you son would love it if both of you were together. just remember the conditions that you layed out that he agreed too.i do think the wise thing would be have separate rooms. to avoid him thinking that things are going further than you are ready for them to go. have fun, and don't forget to take pictures!!

Answer 9

Give him a chance, but prepare for the worst. Know where to go for help, and make sure your child does also.

It might not be a bad idea to have a rape whistle or can of pepper spray with you, just in case.

Answer 10

Ma'am, If my husband hit me, I"d have done what you have done --- leave, like superfast. And for sure, I would not consider sharing time and space with him until he had been in counseling a while, and WE had gone TOGETHER for awhile. So, to answer your question, No, I would not go with him anywhere until I was satisfied that he had gotten his anger under control. And for sure, not until the two of us had been in counseling together for awhile..... no way..... not yet...Dream vacation or not.....

You asked.