BACKGROUND:
I have a question about a 13 year old boy. I am the boy's father's fiance. I'll call the boy Sam.
Sam is in 7th grade. Sometimes his grades are low and even failing. Sam has no chores around the house. His room is a mess. Sam has some behavior problems.
Sam wants to have a friend come over every Friday, to spend the night, and stay all day Saturday, and sometimes spend another night, going home, Sunday. Sam and his friend like to stay up all night. They, of course run up and down the stairs, blast the computer games, and electric guitars, and go to the kitchen for snack breaks.
QUESTIONS:
How often should a 13 year old have over night company? Should Sam and his friend have a bed time, and a limit on their fun activities? Should Sam have to earn his right to having company, by cleaning his room, doing chores, keeping up kids grades, and behaving himself in general?
Thankyou very much for your time.
2006-11-30 08:45:49 · 9 answers · asked by Rosee 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
First of all a 13 year old with poor grades, no responsibilities, and behavior problems should not be allowed to have sleep overs until...
1) The grades come up...no grades lower than "C". He needs to spend more time studying instead of having all-night parties with his buddies.
2) He has a set of chores and does them all without complaining too much.
3) Cleans his room and keeps it clean. ie...you should not have to tell him to clean his room. He's old enough to know his room needs to be kept clean.
4) Behaves like he should.
In short...yes he should have to earn the privilege to have his friends stay overnight. Even then he shouldn't be allowed to stay up all hours of the night. Overnight visits should be no more than twice a month at the most. Anything more than that interferes with family and study time.
2006-11-30 09:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by ModelFlyerChick 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You and the boys father need to sit down and discuss some rules, limitations, and responsibilities for Sam. As well as getting his grades up, if this doesn't happen, then no special priviledges for him. As far as the question about how often, every other week would be sufficient. Sam is at an age where he needs responsibilities. Good-luck!!
2006-11-30 16:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by CaReBeAr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As his future stepmother, you have an obligation to be a positive and constructive influence in his life, therefore you need to help him learn responsibility. There is a balance between just being a kind and having friends and fun - you can't be a tyrant, but he does need to learn responsibility and earn some privileges. Else, you will be raising a future college dropout and a person who takes no responsibility for his actions. He might not like it a lot now, but if you can be a positive influence and impose a modicum of discipline, he'll be a great student and a great son.
2006-11-30 23:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by Peter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like "Sam" has the life. No chores, no responsiblities...
I feel really sorry for you when he, actually, becomes a teenager.
Having friends over weekly is cool, but yes, he should have to earn this right.
Staying up all night is cool, but he needs to be taught respect.
Other people are sleeping so after a certain time they should only be able to watch movies or something.....not run up & down the stairs and through the house. Otherwise, if they insist on acting like babies you should treat them like babies & give them
a bedtime...........make it an early bedtime.
2006-11-30 16:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer: teenagers should have chores and responsibilities and they should be held accountable for those chores and responsibilities. If Sam wants friends to come over he must earn the right. If he chooses not to be responsible the answer should be NO.
2006-11-30 20:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by snddupree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sam needs to learn responsibilities and he needs to respect the other people in the house his guests included. he should also have to earn rights to have guests over. no chores no guests....
2006-11-30 17:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold on. Let me get this straight you're going to be his stepmother? Im sorry but you have no authority on him you nobody to him. The only person who can say something to him is his FATHER. If his father says its ok then you cant say nothing.
2006-11-30 19:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey everybody start saying this hip new word for idiot. DIMMO
Let them roam free like the animals they are
2006-12-01 18:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lespaul 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes u should put rules around the house ****** *** hole
2006-11-30 16:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Gilbert M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋