Same sex couples at school?

Question

I am dating a girl at my school and we dont really do anything at school, we hold hands in the hallways and write notes in class sometimes but when the teachers see me whisper in her ear at lunch or hold her hand they say "no PDA, I would say the same thing to a couple if it was a boy and a girl so i have to treat you two the same" but the truth is, they dont. The teachers dont do ANYTHING when straight kids makeout in the hallways and everywhere else!! It makes me sick how unfair this is. Any advice about how to talk to the admin or maybe any other action that can be taken?
Ever experienced anything simalar?

Answer 1

This is directed to the naysayers that believe being different should and always will come at a price, and that tolerance for that injustice needs to be anticipated:

I fully disagree. This individual is being treated unfairly, and it is not acceptable. Sure, we live in life, and life is not fair. I am 43 years old and far from naive. However, if this person were to approach this situation with the sort of attitude suggested by some in this post, then to some small extent it is like saying that we should just keep doing things business as usual and expect no improvement in terms of increased awareness, expanded education (expecially from the so called educators), and a better life.

If we all took the do nothing attitude, then we just as well go back to the dark ages, return to witch hunts, "a woman's place is in the home", "fags aren't really human, and should be killed" and let's see, oh, here's a good one, "electricity can in no way provide a steady flow of light--everyone's knows that's impossible."

Sorry for sounding so intense, but come on people, how can you expect to make a better place if the approach is to just tolerate stupidity and ignorance.

I say, use the school board, use the cell phone camera, definitely consider a petition, DEFINITELY speak to the principal (with parents) and put him on notice AFTER you have gone to the superintendent with VALID carefully stated concerns (reminding the superintendant about legal implications), etc. etc. etc.

I am not trying to sound like a broken record, and certainly there needs to be some intelligence aboard these crusades. Nobody respects individuals that are "over-the-top", out-of-control, etc. (you know the type).

On the other hand, rarely do people have respect for people who are unwilling to fight (lobby) for that which they believe.

So a balance is needed, and I say "carefully" go about standing up for what you feel is ONLY fair and equally applied to all.

And lastly, I do agree, if you live in a small town, of population 216, don't expect to turn over any amazing rocks that have the words "You made a difference" painted on its downside.

Realistically, if the school is small, you would be wasting your time. Nothing changes in small towns, and that that does, is little.

Good luck,

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

I know thats a total double standard. I dont think anything could be done with the school board or anything, because they would probably say that noone should be making out in the halls and just back up what the teacher had said. When you are at school its almost like you are on their time and have to do what they say, but as soon as your not in the building make out with your girly girl. The only way to change the situation is for people to change.

Answer 3

Oh yes, I was at a restaurant once and a couple got up and left noting there were too many "f*gs" in there for them. It's the gay double standard we all have to live with. You could raise some hell but given that you're in school, I'm guessing there are strict limits on how much you can get away with. However, you are a teenager, so I say rage against the machine some and be creative. You might change some minds. Good luck!

Answer 4

Yup, it's hypocrisy. And you will run into it again and again and again. Is your adminisration receptive to hearing from students...especially lgbt youth? You can demand they not apply a double-standard, but you may be met with heterosexist attitude. You should first try pointing out the hypocrisy *when it happens*. For example, you're holding hands and a teacher tells you, "No PDA!" you can tell the teacher that you're fine with abiding by that rule...*and* it needs to apply to the other students...*and* you haven't seen it cutting both ways, so what gives? They'll march you down to the principal's office where you can state your case by saying "I feel there's a double-standard." If you're parents are cool with you having a girlfriend, don't be afraid to enlist their help. Parents wield a lot of power in schools! Good luck.

Answer 5

Interesting situation...

I'd start attending school board meetings. Get transportation there, and bring your issue up to them.

I'd present the case as such:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the board, I wish to be heard on an issue that affects me daily and is unjust.

I would like to deliberate the discrimination on my self and others based on my sexual orientation.

Whilst at school, me and my significant other occasionally enjoy the same things as a heterosexual couple. This consists of holding hands, whispering to one another, and meaningful kisses.

However, whenever when we (me and my significant other) do any of the previously mentioned things, we are discriminated and told to stop by teachers and fellow classmates simply because we are a couple that is different.

Being a couple, we are fully aware of what we are doing, and are as committed as any other couple. We deserve respect and fair treatment in our school environment. I stand before you to perhaps influence you to encourage acceptance of all people reguardless of their sexual orientation, to the teachers and our community. Upon acceptance, learning enviornments for our schooling will be more united and more comfortable to all of those who make up our system.

Thank you for listening."


Unless your kisses, ear-cooings, or holding hands interrupts class time, I'd say you have a case.

Hope I helped,
Russ

Answer 6

well it sounds like discrimination and I would totally watch how you approach this but something needs to be said. I am straight and I have a 10 year old son and would have no problem if he was gay. The problem with the world today is all of the closed minds in retarted people!!

I would start with your parents and then go from there, it will be very important to have their support during this. Then you r next step shouldbe the principal.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

Come on and quit the victim stuff.
You are just looking for sympathy.
The fact is yes maybe you notice public displays that are not addressed but the fact is they DO have to discourage all and everyone.
Besides school is for education.
Ignore all the bad advice from those that have forgotten that and focus on studies.

Answer 8

I'd be saying flat-out, "No, ma'am, you do *not* treat us the same," and hopefully there would be another couple of kids to point to. Besides, since when is whispering PDA? And hand-holding is really innocuous.

I like the cameraphone suggestion, too.

Lastly, if you can get your parents involved, please do it.

Answer 9

Similar experiance, the best thing to do is simply to point out the lack of adherance to "policy" where the straight kids are concerned and to draw your teachers attention when you see this happening, if you just say piont blank, "that couple is making out, undisturbed and I got told off for holding her hand. Can you please explain how the policy does not apply to them?" something will have to be done.

best luck :)

Answer 10

SCREAM discrimination at the top of your lungs and if they don't stop threaten to take it to the papers and possibly to the the courts.You have the right to be treated as everyone else.And if your not doing anything inappropriate then you just keep being you.