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I still have needs and my husband says he is just too stressed out about life, his job, raising children, and paying bills to have the time, interest or energy in sex at the end of the day.

What is right?

2006-11-30 07:28:24 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

22 answers

I would go into marriage counseling. He obviously has a harder time dealing with stress then you do. Try to be understanding though.

2006-11-30 07:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 1 0

I think God understands that need and even as a christian, you shouldn't feel guilty about pleasuring yourself. there are cool novelty shops and beleive me as a divorced woman who still has needs, I can take care of them myself with some little toys. This way, you can stay faithful, healthy and not need so much. It's a GREAT stress releiver. If he's just not interested at all anymore, I would suggest therapy. No matter how old you may be, sex should always remain somewhat active. He may have a problem that needs to be addressed. Seriously, toys shouldn't replace your husband completely, they are better when you don't have a man at all!!

2006-11-30 07:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0 1

How long have you been married? Maybe all these things are stressing him out. How about putting a little romance into the marriage? If your kids are still little, hire a babysitter and go out on a date. Have dinner at a nice place. Or, have the kids stay overnight with a friend or relative and go away for the evening to someplace romantic. Dress up and have some fun. Give him a massage, and go from there.

2006-11-30 07:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Christian or no, common sense is common sense. Being Christian doesn't mean you have to put up with being walked all over; it means you've got set things to rights.

Tell hubby to either start looking for ways to make time for you or start looking for a new wife. You have a responsibility to yourself to ensure that you are being loved, cherished and respected in your relationship with your husband, because if you don't ensure it, it puts the full responsibility on him to always do the right thing. And, being human, he can't be counted on to ALWAYS see clearly what he should or should not do. Sometimes it takes another person to put things into perspective. That's where you come in. Believe me, you're doing him a favour by expecting him to treat you like you're #1 in his life. It makes him a better man, and that's the best thing a wife can do.

2006-11-30 11:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by intuition897 4 · 0 1

I don't know if Christianity has anything to do with it. As a musician I would sit down with him and tell him just how important he is to you and just how important your needs are. It's not unholy to have sexual desires for your wife or husband. God created it so it can't be wrong, right?
I can't help but wonder if, since you had to include that you were a christian, if maybe some sort of religious hang up is part of the problem here. I don't mean to offend you but have you thought of that?

2006-11-30 07:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 0 1

Well we all have stress and kids and life but he still needs to remember his vows and one of them is to love you. And we need to feel that special closeness and he is not keeping his end of the bargain. Sit him down and tell him, you need that closeness back. And try to arrange one uninterrupted evening a week where you and him can have your romantic time. Tell him you do not feel desired or loved. Sex is actually a great stress reliever. Is he having some health problem perhaps that could be affecting his drive? Sit down and do not be afraid to tell him how you feel. Do not live miserably. You deserve to be happy, too.

2006-11-30 07:35:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Seduce him! When hi is all stressed out put something skimpy on, give him a long FULL body massage, get him relaxed and handle your business!
Sex is a great form of stress relief so i think there is another reason on why he's not willing.
OR
get toys

2006-11-30 07:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by 1 2 · 1 1

The bible says not to withold for one anothe except for in times of prayer and fasting.

Sex is part of the bond that makes the marriage strong, It also relieves tension.

He may need some counseling. But good luck trying to get him to get it...

2006-11-30 07:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 2 1

First off grow up and stop letting the invisible man in the sky controlled your thought process. Go out and get yourself a friend on the side and enjoy your tools your body provided you.

2006-11-30 07:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

It might just be all of him, the work, stress, and etc. and he might be fighting depression.
Does he have an ed problem? IN alot of men, this problem does exist and can happen. Suggest that he goes to his urologist, and get a medical treatment and look in to medication to help his sexual drive.
Cut some of the stress down at home, let him have his down time to himself, and as for you too!
Express to him of your connection of sexual itmancy is needed for both of you, eventually, you will get tired all of this stuff, and he will be more anger, bad moods, moody, and etc. that your relationship will fall under.
Pray to God for your husband, his work, energy, his stress level to decrease, and for interest of being your lover again.
God made sex for husband and wives and he did not mean for us to withhold sex from our spouses. It is a pleasurable, stress relieving, emotional and other benefits factors between a husband and his wife.
Look into his diet, is he eating alot of junk, where are the energy filled typed foods for enhancement.
Raising children is difficult, and maybe all the pressure of keeping quiet, or somebody gets up and etc can be a problem, for anyone to focus on giving to their spouse.
Paying bills, christmas on the way, all this stuff is extra demands for a man to provide for can be extremely difficult for to meet the wife high expectations and the kids expectations.
You might want to be ready anytime and be prepare to meet at his time for itmancy, shave your legs, doll up, make up on, no slopy clothes, but to be Mrs. Sexy for hubby to come home, not just a worn out mom who had no time to take a shower, no makeup, slopy comfy clothes with stains from our precious children did to us!
Get the kids on a earlier bedtime, for there is more time for you and hubby,
Make your bedroom inviting not just to sleep, but to have adventure of love making goes on,
get rid all the clutter out of the bedroom, remove all pictures of the kids, family off the walls in the bedroom. It can be very timidation to be itmancy with your spouse with all the kids staring at you.
keep the phones off, and all distractions out of the way, and maybe you guys can be on your way, of what marriage benefits is suppose to do!
The toys are ok, but make sure he is not insecure with the toys!
Best of luck, and keep praying for God to move this mountain in your life, and thank him for making your marriage more awesome.

2006-11-30 07:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0 1

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