We fight alot but he only blames me.He has controlled me and I have no job and no way to move out but it's his house and I'm the one who has to move.I have no daycare and no money to pay for daycare but he w on't help.He says he didn't want the kids so why does he have to pay daycare?
2006-11-30 06:50:34 · 8 answers · asked by littleb7503 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honey, whether he wanted the kids or not, he's got to help pay for them. He's being an *** and treating you and the kids like crap in the meantime. Staying with him sounds like a HUGE mistake, but you don't have to leave empty handed. You should get some alimony and child support out of this, since you've been at home taking care of the house and his kids. You'll end up being better off without him IF you get on your own two feet and learn to take care of yourself.
2006-11-30 06:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does the p word always cause confusion for a man? first off, the only reason you think you might be happy right now is because you are being allowed by both women to have your cake and eat it too. Your gf needs to f@@@ off and go find her own man. Anyone that can live with themself knowing that they had a part in breaking up a family is worthless. You'll thank your lucky stars one day for the unconditional love your wife is giving you. I can imagine some of the causes for your wife's depression. Why don't you put your energy into trying to help your marriage. But you would have to give it your best shot and have no distractions. Maybe your wife needs to see a dr for starters. He may be able to help with the depression and if so, everything else will fall into place with her. After 8 years and giving you 2 beautiful kids, doesn't your wife deserve an honest chance? If you moved in with your g/f now, the guilt of what you did and how you did it would not allow you to be happy with anyone else. Hate to tell you but continuing to support your wife and kids while gone will not make you feel any better about what you did. The guilt will remain and rightfully so. And I know for a fact that if you did leave your family and your wife ended up meeting someone new, you would stop the support the second you found out. Stop being selfish and think of how your behavior is already destroying your kids. I've been there. I too pushed the hubby away by my behavior. I had no idea how bad it hurt him when I acted bitchy. At least not until he walked out on me and our 2 kids that were the same age as yours. Like you, he had already started a relationship. I didn't even know about the whore for about 2 months after he left. that witch was fatal and it was over a year before she realized she wasn't going to win. My man had fun being single for a bit after that but realized he needed his family as much as we needed him. My hubby and older son(then 5) were inseperable before and our son was a happy child. He turned into a very quiet boy that still has trouble expressing himself when something bothers him. He's seen lots of counselors and even though he's happy again that dads back, their relationship has never been the same. We've been back together about 5 years now and it's still a work in progress. My then 3 yr. old son has blocked out the time his dad wasn't here so he's just a happy little clam. by the way, my older son started wetting the bed during our seperation and still does. One good thing about what happened is that my man and i are tighter than ever. 15 years of ups and downs and nothing gets in between us now. i am not saying that your marriage is guaranteed to work only that you won't know if you don't try to make it work. you'll have the same issues with any woman sooner or later. why not just try to work through them with the woman you married and had children with. Your wife, your kids and you all deserve another chance to be happy with each other. Good luck
2016-05-23 05:30:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh, heh..."why do I have to pay daycare?". Baby...he's in for a rude awakening. Not only daycare...child support and guess what? Alimony. Yes! The dreaded "A" word that every married man who fu*cked around on his wife...got caught and is slapped with divorce papers quakes in fear over.
Best part? No pay to you....then he's off into the county lockup. but yeah...alimony to "keep you in the lifestyle you have been accustomed to" to quote the law.
Sorry you chose a scumbag for a mate. Tough lesson learned. especially with no job and two kids in tow. However you'll know exactly what to look for AND look out for in the next one. Plus...a woman with 2 kids isn't as much as a frightening prospect to most men as you may think. Only the immature ones.
Good luck. Hope you rake that moron you married over the coals!
2006-11-30 06:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, I would contact family members, if possible, and see if you could stay with them for a while till you get enough money for daycare and your own place. I have experienced something sorta like this and tried to work things out but it didn't help at all.
2006-11-30 06:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by De_rchs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a situtation kinda like yours. My husband of 14 years asked for a divorce. i started seeing a counsolor and he gave me a book to read DIVORCE BUSTING by Michele'Werner Go to web site Divorcebusting.com i read the book and ordered otheres by her. is been a month and i did just what she reccomended and guess what he is telling me he loves me again and he is in iraq and that he misses me and he even asked me to put on a show for him over the web cam and he is talking about what we will do when he gets back give it a try really works.
2006-12-01 18:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by chell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry this loser in the first place? He blames you, controls you, is keeping the house, and he won't help.....hmmmmmm, seems like an easy solution to me - RUN! Run as far as you can away from him. Don't you think you deserve better?
2006-11-30 06:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a shelter, friends house or famlys house. You don't need that bum and you sure don't need his bad influence on your kids. You are better off without him!
2006-11-30 07:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by party_pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on. Tell him too bad about the kids they are his kids too, you didnt make them by yourself.
2006-11-30 06:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by Dolphin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋