My friend's mom called me last night asking me to talk to my friend. She just broke up with her bf of 2 years. Now, he's harassing her. He has people visit her work to give her flowers and letters. He follows her and goes to her window late at night. If she isn't home, he'll wait a few houses down in someone else's car so she can't recognize him. She got home from a date 2 nights ago and "one of his friend's saw her" and the ex shows up and starts pounding on her car window for her to get out so they can "talk it out." He tried to fight the other guy. They had to take off in the car and her ex chased her around until they lost him. She has told him repeatedly to leave her alone because she "doesn't want to be mean." She doesn't want his family to think negatively about her... I told her it doesn't matter what they think. She doesn't want to put him through taking him to court, but we think it is getting too dangerous. Suggestions, anyone?
2006-11-30 06:43:56 · 6 answers · asked by Nicky G 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
She should have someone explain to him that his behavior is scaring her and that if it does not stop immediately, he will be reported for stalking. This should not be done as a threat, but as a matter of consequence.
Stalking is a serious criminal act. If he does not back off, he needs to be reported. She will probably be required to request an order of protection as a first step in the process. There are two types: criminal and civil. With a civil order of protection, he is not charged with a crime unless he violates the order. When you go to court for a civil order, a temporary order will be issued. He will be served papers to appear in court and be given an opportunity to rebut her charges. After that court hearing, the judge can issue the order for up to 2 years. Once the order has been issued, a simple call to the police is all that is required if he harasses her again or violates the order in any fashion.
2006-11-30 07:01:45 · answer #1 · answered by Andreas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boy friend is exhibiting compulsive behavior. That's the behavior that serial killers, stalkers and pedophiles exhibit.
Your friend not only needs to get a restraining order, she needs to start documenting all incidents and insuring she is not caught off guard or alone at any time during this period.
Let her know that the stalking and anger are the first steps that can lead to a tragic incident. She should also contact agencies that counsel abused women... She is being abused, no doubt about it!
Remember this: It would only take one small twist of fate to turn his jealous compulsion into a serious injury or death. You might also mention the fact that, if not stopped now, what about the next time he gets dumped?
2006-11-30 14:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like that's the best approach. This guy is getting violent and doesn't appear too stable. She's not being "mean". It seems anyone is in jeopardy just being around her because of him. Maybe you could plea for the safety of her other friends if she's too "considerate" of being mean to this guy.
2006-11-30 14:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a restraining order would be the way to go.
She might not want to put him through that but what he is putting her through isn't fair either.
Also, what happens when she blows him off too many times? Does something really bad have to happen before she realizes he isn't just going to go away?
2006-11-30 14:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say Restraining order, sounds like a stalker to me.
2006-11-30 14:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it! If she wants help, help is available. Sounds like she is playing her part in it. Don't become another victim!
2006-11-30 14:48:06 · answer #6 · answered by hichefheidi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋