i am in love with a man that i am not married to. i love my hubby dearly but there is this other guy that i have never fallen out of love with. i wish that i could tell him but i am worried that it will ruin my marriage. what should i do???
2006-11-30 06:32:54 · 28 answers · asked by welshwife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i feel that it IS possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time.....what you need to do is try to picture yourself with the new guy and not being with your husband anymore....could you live without him? and do you think you might actually just be in love with the idea of what you once had with this other guy?
2006-11-30 06:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by jeanielola 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would most definitely lose interest in this 'other' man.
Only heartache will result. Seems to me that you are longing to find out what WOULD have happened, had you started a relationship with this other bloke.
We all take different routes in life that sometimes we regret.
He is a lost love, and should remain so.
Don't jeopardise current happiness for a wishful thought.
You may think you love this other person, I don't think you do.
I think it's more of a case of 'what if?'.
Enjoy your life with your current partner and move on with your life.
Why don't you go away on holiday if you think your relationship might need a kick start.
Whatever you decide, be happy. A nd remember that there are other fellings involved here. And it's not exclusively your heart that may be broken.
Enjoy your life sweetheart.
Don't do anything rash or impulsive just yet.
2006-11-30 06:40:58 · answer #2 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So-knowing you were in love with someone else,and never really been out of love with this plank-your "marriage" to your husband was a sham from the start then right? Why put him through all this,why didn't you say from the beginning of your relationship that you were in love with someone else,and you will never really be out of love with that person-so lets just be Friends? You have not ruined your marriage,because its not real anyway is it-there is no real love for him there is there? The best thing you could do is to tell your "husband" that you love him,but are not "in love" with him-and that he should find a decent,loving woman to be with,because you are not that decent,loving woman that he thought you were. You cannot have your cake and eat it too-thats just greed. Do your husband a favour and cut him loose,he can do better than you.
2006-11-30 21:02:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi cazzak,
this is a tough one..i think it is possible to love 2 people or more at the same time, u must love them differently though... same as a mother loving her husband and loving her child and her own mother etc..
maybe u are in love with the idea of loving this other guy... u don't live with him, u aren't sharing everday and night with him, living his good and bad habits and moods. he may not have the faults your husband may have, but believe me he'll have other one's. the saying... the grass is always greener on the otherside comes to mind... i don't mean it in a bad way. u need to sit down and think... do u really love ur husband.. and why? what are his good points, what makes u happy being with him...
then do this with the other guy too and compare... it sounds stupid, but it should work (if u really do love your husband) because u will see that your love for him is based on reality, lived experiences and not like the love for this other man thats "untouchable" or not reachable... and if u are having an affair with this other man, it's easy for him to appear perfect, u don't have the struggles and strains of everyday routine together...it's like being on holiday all the time when u r together...
the main point i'm making is that if u love and are happy with ur husband then don't walk away from it... work at it... even if u do love this other guy and it may work out, he'll still have faults, just different ones to ur hubbie... don't walk away from something that's good for another man, it's not worth it... maybe u need to look inside yourself, the problem may lie within u, maybe u will always want more than u can have??
whatever it is i wish u luck girl! mind urself and don't make any rash and hasty decisions! :)
2006-11-30 06:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey, as the old story goes, "You can't have your cake and eat it too". I know that you can love someone and be in love with someone else.......there are many different forms of love. As i see it you have a number of options, (this is only my view). Leave a man, that you do love, if you dint love your husband you wouldn't think twice about leaving him, so sounds like your marriage is good, hurt him like hell..........But you sound unhappy, because their is this other man out there that you are in love with, so for your own happiness, go and be with this man. If you tell your husband about this man that you are in love with then it will differently ruin your marriage, and you might as will leave anyway..............perhaps you need to try and get this guy out of your mind, and concentrate on your husband and marriage, give it a time limit, say 1 year, and if i still feel the same then, i will tell my husband..........sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill........good luck and god bless.......
2006-11-30 06:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to seriously examine your feelings and decide what you want. if you love your husband , it could just be a case of the grass seeming greener on the other side! we all wonder what if? sometimes especially when we are faced with spe nding the rest our life with one person. if on the other hand you really think youre with the wrong man you must let your hubby go n find his own love.. good luck
2006-11-30 06:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by serephina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. It will ruin your marriage. It's already ruined. You love someone else. I feel really bad for your hubby.
2006-11-30 06:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have answered your own question. As for what you should do, I recommend seeing a therapist, counselor, psychologist, or someone like that. They always help me make difficult problems into much smaller and more easily managed problems. Above all, you should listen to your heart. A lot of times, your heart can be a lot smarter than your brain. If that makes sense.
2006-11-30 06:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by Cleveland Rock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor you. I notice that you never completed your education. Now you are not going to complete your marriage. You have to make decisions in life and then make a commitment. That is what life is all about... as hard as that is.
2006-11-30 06:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by Saudi Geoff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can still love the other guy as a friend, but whatever you do, do not cheat on your husband cos you will ruin everyones life (including your's) and end up with no one
2006-11-30 06:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by bw_r005t3r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋