Can anyone tell when emotions stabilize after a break up? I'm getting really sick of this. I'd rather feel one way or the other all the time. *sigh*. I just want to know I'll be normal again. It's literally an everyday thing. One day: Wake up happy, drive to work belting out songs on the radio, get to work, get things done, chirpy... all of that. I think of the ex, but they're normal thoughts like "I know I can do better next time...". Another day: Alarm goes off and I don't want to move. My heart is heavy, my spirit is weak.. A commercial that I've heard a million times reduces me to tears because I heard it with 'him' before.. Work is a drag, I'm checking my phone a thousand times, heart sinking even lower when I have no missed calls... It's so frustrating and tireing. Does anyone know when it ALL ends?
2006-11-30 06:29:33 · 12 answers · asked by monie0078 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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www.mywritetopeace.blogspot.com
2006-11-30 06:30:05 · update #1
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you are going through this.
I am sorry to say that there is no set time when it all becomes normal again.
You have to allow yourself time to mourn the loss of this relationship and don't be hard on yourself. It will continue to be an up and down feeling for however long it takes for you to work it out in your spirit and heart.
Just be encouraged that one day it will all be normal and I encourage you to listen to some good music such as Destiny's Child last album Destiny Fulfilled, and India Arie's latest album and Tamia's newest one, Between Friends is really good too. I believe there is healing in music. It has personally helped me get through times like this.
You are going to hurt sweetie, but one day you will feel whole again.
Best of luck to you and feel free to email me if you like.
2006-11-30 06:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long will it last? How long before that empty feeling fades away?
You try to go about your daily routine, try not to think about it too much. But it keeps coming back, sweeping over you like a wave - that feeling in the pit of your stomach - you suck in a big breath of air. How long am I going to feel this way is often asked question.
There is a way to calculate how long it will take to repair broken heart.
Long relationships (1 YEAR OR MORE)
estimate how happy you were (day to day) on a scale of 1 to 3
estimate how physically attractive you found your mate on a scale of 1 to 3
add up A and B - and then divide this number by 2-- this will give you a number in years
subtract one year from the total, that the number of years it will take to get over it.
For example your were very happy 3 points
and was very attractive 3 point
total 3 + 3 = 6 divided by 2 = 3 minus one year remainder =2
Usually 2 years is enough to heal over in most circumstances.
2006-11-30 06:47:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone tells you divorce is easy. They do not know what they are talking about. They could not have been in love with the whole heart and mind. You have just went thur the hardest event in your life. Even if someone dies , you know they are in a better place. A divorce, you have to see them occasionally if you have kids, there is relatives and friends that you will run into that remind you of the good and bad times. Then they call it no fault divorce so the lawyers get rich. My lawyer told me it takes 3 months for ever year you were with that person. It is the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life. Good Luck and God Bless you I hope you have more good days than bad in the near future.
2006-11-30 06:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through the same thing. It has been 3 months. Went 6 weeks everyday bad, next 4 weeks one good day out of three, right now I am good every other day. If I do my math correctly in about 3-4 months I should be ok depending on how much contact I have with her and the holidays.
2006-11-30 06:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for putting into precise words what so many of us have gone through. I've been there and wondered if I was manic-depressive because of it. Girl you are completely normal in my book. But if you really want to get to the bottom of it, once and for all, make an appt with your family doctor. Just go chat with him about it and see if he feels that meds could help, even temporarily. Just a suggestion but I think you're fine and you'll make it through because you sound intelligent and strong.
Hugs to ya....
2006-11-30 06:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep yourself busy to take your mind off things. it does get better. I'm going through the same thing but don't jump back into the relationship it will not work and will take longer to get over.
2006-11-30 06:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On those days when you wake up crabby, change your thinking! Think like you do on those "good" days. You can change your entire perspective by changing your thoughts. When you think of him or something sad, stop! Change your mind...think of something good that makes you happy. Just do that every time you catch yourself. YOU make yourself sad...nobody else does it for you. Best of luck, and change that stinkin thinkin
2006-11-30 06:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes a couple of years to recover from a separation. Counseling may help resolve your fluctuating emootions.
2006-11-30 06:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what u are going through i have the same problem when will it end.
2006-11-30 06:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is a roller coaster...get use to it.
2006-11-30 07:02:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋