this isnt black and white she obviously wasnt happy in first place or i wouldnt have been given the time of day!we have been on holiday with kids and never had a crossed word! at the moment she is currently buying his half of the house but is still struggling with wether she needs to stay with him and be miserable for the kids or move on be happy but split her family. the kids are fine and i have experienced a good relationship with them! and to the fella who said he must be her pal if he wont leave her alone,you are a jerk as if you love someone you dont make them feel so rotten and miserable he knows how she feels he just ignores her and plays with her mind
2006-11-30 06:12:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Until she finalizes her divorce with her husband, she is still very much married. What is it exactly you don't understand? Don't you realize that the final choice is still hers and neither you nor anyone else can do anything about it? She may not love her husband anymore but she's obviously feeling guilty about splitting up her family and this is what's stopping her from leaving her husband.
Whether you want to accept it or not, the choice is still hers.
2006-11-30 06:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a process, not an exact time and date. She has been in the process of divorcing her husband and along the way she has had doubts which is reasonable. What is not reasonable is that she started a relationship without being legally free from the first and you have been a party to that adultry. If the marriage was truly as bad as she claims she would have been physically separated from the man, not living together and deciding. They both want to stay married for financial reasons and for the kids, not for each other. I don't agree with that but its their life. As long as the finances and kids come first, you will not. You have to choose if that is acceptable. By the way you should question what type of mother flaunts a boyfriend to her children before a divorce and keep in mind she has no problem cheating on a relationship.
2006-11-30 06:21:31 · answer #2 · answered by fancyname 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how miserable she says she is, it is not your place to come into a marriage and comfort her and love her. I completely understand you have feelings, but you have to realize that she stepped out of her marriage because she wasn't happy. That is no excuse to begin another relationship no matter how hard things are. She should be a respectable women and divorce her husband. Do you think its good for those kids to see their mother with another man and then continue a relationship with their father. Don't you think you deserve a women who can completely commit to you. You have been in a relationship for two years and whether you realize it or not you are on the back burner. This women is keeping you there for a backup plan or someone to help her deal with her broken marriage. Love does not act this way, love is for one person and she shouldn't do this to you if she loves. Think about what kind of women she really is to put you in this position. She is not helpless, women get divorced every day without another man there to pick up the pieces. You deserve better and her husband no matter how bad she says he is deserves better. Most importantly the kids deserve better.
2006-11-30 06:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but there is a chance that if they divorce then the financial side of things will be gone into and the house will probably have to go on the market and the morgage paid up plus any expenses which the divorce creates
Then you would be able to move on thats if there is no problems over who the children will live with.
The only thing is i wonder if she could bare to start all over again with no property to her name what ever happens i wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-30 06:25:58 · answer #4 · answered by Dazzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can justifiy it however you like. The bottom line is that she is still married. You obviously can't change that. You really have no right to even feel this way. You crossed a serious line when you had an affair with a married woman. You have no idea what you have done to her husband. She sounds like a perfect match for you...both are losers who don't respect boundaries or marriage vows.
I hope you both end up alone and miserable and he finds a wonderful woman who will be faithful to him and treat him the way he deserves to be treated.
Please stop posting any more questions about this topic or I will report you
2006-11-30 06:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
dont care what excuses there are,it dont matter whos not happy,you just dont do that.if she not happy she should divorce ist.think of the kids cause its them that will get hurt in the end.people who go with married people are jerks and so is she.when you get married it suppose to be for life,you both work at it,if it dont work you can then divorce and in time find some one.
2006-11-30 06:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by shaz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to make the break already! Her kids will be happy if she is happy. If you get along with them then that is even better! After 2 years of this it sounds like she needs to break it off w/her husband or maybe you should think about moving on. Maybe you should suggest she see a counselor to help her get things straight in her head so that she can lead the life she wants to lead. Good luck to the both of you!
2006-11-30 06:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
"he knows how she feels he just ignores her and plays with her mind."
Do you honestly think she is going to tell you her husband loves her and is supportive of her, and really want's thier marraige to work. I am not saying that is the case, but many of times ppl in affairs are going to paint a picture which justifies thier actions, rather than expose who they really are, selfish and shallow.
When my I filed for divorce on my ex- , she was telling her boyfriend that I used to abuse her... lol, I laugh at it, because the people that know us, know the truth. I also know that whatever she was capable of doing to me, she now is capable of doing it to him. You may feel bad for the guy, but that's your own guilt.... trust me in the long run you'll be doing him a favo (he just doesn't know it)r by taking over his problem~ cause whatever picture she is painting about him right now... one day she'll be doing the same to you.
2006-11-30 06:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by ~MB~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only she can make that choice but if you can all be friendly for the childrens sake and he realises its over he must do to be moving out then good luck hope your all very happy
2006-11-30 06:24:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like a loser bringing her kids around you and cheating for two years. I would dump her asap. Life shouldn't be so sordid. The welfare of her children and her family is more important than her skanky lovelife.
2006-11-30 06:28:06 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋