having just one child?

Question

i have a thats 8 months and am in two minds about having more i don't know wether people just expect you to have more than one and thats why i feel pressured i'm really unsure what to do ha any one else had this problem

sorry has anyone else had this problem

also my sister had a girl still born this year PM said she was healthy and just died no reason and tha worries me to cause i know i would'nt cope with that

Answer 1

Hi, I have a 9 week old and I keep going back and forth with the issue of more babies. Its not wrong if you choose not to but make sure that if you do want another that thats what you really want since you cant change ur mind once you are pregnant. I grew up in a family of 7 me being the middle and my husband an only child. You wil know when the time is right to have another child. Its your choice no one else will be raising the child but for you and ur husband.

Answer 2

It's a personal decision that you and your partner should make. I honestly only know one couple with just one child (but they had HORRIBLE problems concieving and it took them over 9 years), but still it's your choice. Way out the options with money, time, and even your energy level. Some people don't want more and it's fine! I bet it's just seeing the families with 2-4 kids in toe that might make you feel pressured. If you have no preferences on having your kids close together, then I would wait a while yet and see how you feel. Maybe in another year when things are somewhat routine, and easier you might think another is great. I chose another right away, but that was our choice! We are 16 weeks pregnant now and our daughter is 14 months.

Answer 3

Monkeypants...how old are you?? I only ask because at 39, hubby and I had resigned ourselves to the fact that it just wasn't gonna happen. Not that we'd been seriously trying...if it did it did, if it didn't, it didn't. Felt sorry for hubby though cos he's 6 years younger than me and I always knew he'd be a fab dad.

We went on an anniversary trip to Paris, relaxed with a carafe of wine outside and had a heart to heart about it all. The upshot was if it didn't happen, we'd always have each other. I conceived that weekend!!! Our son was born the following May and is now 4.5 and at school. I was 40 when I gave birth to my first and only.

My only regret is not having had him sooner, because he's such a joy, I would have liked to have had another. I could have tried aagain but hubby's away working a lot and neither of us has any family within a 3hr drive! And of course, with my age, I didn't want to take the risks involved with the health of the child.

If you're unsure, now is not the right time. You'll know it is when you're sure! I only mention age because my circumstances dictated not trying for another, even though we may have wanted one.
No-one can make the decision for you. My son hasn't been deprived in any way for not having a sibling. He always enjoyed other children's company in pre-schools and now he's at school. The good part was never having to fight with siblings and he can always hand friends back when it's time for them to go home.
There are pros and cons. Both arguments are equal but don't ever let anyone pressure you into having a child - it's really not fair on the child to learn that later. My family banged on for years about me having one.....and I come from a big family....they finally resigned themselves to me being childless too....so when I told them I was pregnant, it made the news all the more sweet.

Do what your natural instinct is, regardless of your circumstances.....after all, you're the one who has to love, look after, pay for and worry about another child. Others who pressure you don't! Besides, you're still enjoying your 8 month old! That's the most important thing, not giving in to pressure!

Answer 4

Hi, after my first was born I couldn't even imagine having another, I felt it would have spoiled the relationship with my first born but when the time is right the urge will come again, you will know when it's time. my boy is two and a half now and I am pregnant again 15 weeks. I really want a bro or sis for him now even though I was saying NO WAY 2 and half years ago. If the urge doesn't come then so be it only you know what is best for your family and you, your child will not suffer from being a singleton at all. good luck.

Answer 5

What people expect is stupid - if anybody is pressuring you into having more than one child against your wishes then their opinion is invalid because they are not considering either the benefit of you or your child/future children.

You need to think to yourself whether or not YOU want to have another child - I don't know what your marital situation is but if you have a husband/boyfriend then talk to him about it too. Remember, your child is only 8 months old - concentrate on being an excellent mother to him or her and there is plenty of time to have more kids if and when you decide to do so.

Answer 6

Do NOT let anyone pressure you into anything!!!!! I was an only child and i HATED it. I myself have 3 kids and love the fact that they are never alone and always have a little buddy. If u feel you only want 1 child then do that. if YOU want another then go for it. noone but you can really know how you feel, what your life is like, if you could handle kids financially or emotionally, so what you do has to come ONLY from your decission

Answer 7

I just had my first child and already I want another one. I personally think that all children need a sibling. I would have been totally lost with out my lil brother. Life is much more fun with a bro or a sis to Skye you out for things. Also its easy with two trust me!!! Its your body, and your life. Do what you think is best not what other will think of you! Good luck! 8mts is still kinda early to be thinking about another child, give it some time you may change your mind!

Answer 8

Don't let them pressure you, i'm an only child and i'm fine - I grew up knowing I was loved and i know how to keep myself entertained with out others. I do not feel like i am missing something from not having brothers or sisters...I was also spoiled only to a point, I still had to get a job and help pay my way, everything was not done for me. its fine do what you want not what others expect

Answer 9

I have 2 children both boys and i am still getting pressured to have a girl because i only have the 2 boys.
Having one child is fine my oldest is 8yrs old and my second is 8 months.

Answer 10

But of course. I am a mother of a 2 year old, and people tell me all the time that it is time to have another baby. I don't feel pressured at all. When people tell me it is time to have another baby, I calmly ask them for their social security number, so that I can add their name to the child support claim once the baby comes. That usually makes them laugh, but they don't tell me anymore that it is time for another baby.