I recently got married.I dont understand where my jelousy came from.When I was with my ex he used to be the jelous one.I used to be a very cool girlfriend.I didnt care if he wanted to go out with his friends.I would push him to have fun in the club and to look at porn if he wanted to but he wasnt into that.Now Im with this guy (my hubby) and I became the REALLY jelous girl and he is the cool laidback guy just like I was.I feel like I have turned into a Pornophobic person.He says he only watches porn with me which is ok and he doesnt hide anything from me. I know where all his porn is (which is not much) and he tells everything.I like the way I am and I know he would never cheat on me but I feel like jelousy is taking over and I feel like its taking away yars of my life.I want to be the way I used to be.I loved it and Im sure he would appreciate it too but I cant.hes gone to 2 stipclubs.i was there with him once.i cant handle it.he tries to help me but its hard.why do i feel this?
2006-11-30 05:55:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not just the girls in porn, its just any girl that I think a guy would "drool" over. I would like to compliment them but I cant. Has anybody ever gotten over jelousy this bad?
2006-11-30 05:58:36 · update #1
Here's a direct quote from the Dr. Phil website. Also below is a link from same for controlling jealousy. "Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal." This is why you feel this way.
2006-11-30 05:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by me 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My theory is; maybe there is something he's doing that is making you feel this way. No one goes from being cool laid-back gf to jealous for no reason. There's always a reason.
Some guys are so clever and skilled at making women feel badly or lowering their self esteem that no one ever sees it coming, or happening. They appear to be Mr. Great Guy but some have such adept skills that women often start questioning themselves and doubting themselves. Sound extreme? Its true. I learned it first hand. One day as I climed over the railing of my balcony and was about to jump from the frustration, it finally dawned on me that maybe it wasn't me. Long story short, I read up about passive aggressive men on the web and it saved my life. This may not be the case with him, but I NEVER rule it out when normal, healthy women start saying things they don't normally say. I immediately look to the guy. Hope this helps.
2006-11-30 06:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you enjoy each other without porn? Porn is not the answer! Its just lust and if your marriage was based on lust you have a big big problem, because when the excitement dies down there is nothing else. Love is supposed to be sweet and trusting and romantic not sleezy. Porn makes real love look smutty. You are better than that. What you do in bed is totally cool, but to dwell on others and force a man to watch that is what results in jealousy. You have opened yourself to bigtime deception girl. Really rethink what you are doing, or you will one of these days be walking right back down to the lawyers for another divorce.
2006-11-30 06:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
5 out of 5
2016-05-23 05:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll never understand why women are "ok" or think they are "ok" with their man looking at a beautiful woman naked right in front of them. That's why these things are better off done in the privacy of "man town" or with buddies. Speaking for myself I don't want to know about it because it would drive me crazy. I don't have a cast iron self esteem and it sounds like neither do you. I don't consider a man doing this without me "hiding" it. It's just something men apparently have to do on occassion, but I just don't want to be a part of something that makes me look poorly anyone that I love.
2006-11-30 06:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by baby1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him about it cause he probably has a reason why. You are probably flirting with others guys not intentionally and he sees it a different way. So I think that you and your husband need to sit down and talk cause i wouldn't want your relationship end for something stupid that you ands him could have soloved.
2006-11-30 06:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by dira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably cause you are afraid of losing him. Has he ever done anything to make you wonder. or have you been with a guy before that has cheated on you and hurt you, maybe your jealously is coming from a past relationship. once you figure out where it is coming from you then will be able to stop.. good luck
2006-11-30 05:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey!
come on...
chill!!
it can't be all dat bad...
now, lets see
first..
u need to accept the situation..
(accept dat u r jealous and possesiv abt ur guy)
acceptin solves half d problem.
next..
u kno there's no need for all dis mental-torture..
but still, u can't seem to stop it..
so lets not stop it, go along wit it!
(for d time being, atleast)
that's right..
tel ur hus. how u feel(totally.. no secrets).
he'l understand.. n support u, im sure!
finally..
don blame urself and don compare ur
present-self wit ur past..
people undergo changes and..
as u'v been RECENTLY married,
(and its obvious u luv him a lot)
its quite natural to feel more possessive..
u'l see...
things wil definitely clear off.........
JUS DONT GIV UP ON URSELF SO SOON!!
hav a happy married life, chum!
2006-11-30 06:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by yusuke 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ignore him for some time. Try to be within urself and thing would get back to normal
2006-11-30 05:57:43 · answer #9 · answered by Abhijit 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋