Her daughter is only three months old and she calls her a "nuisance" and parenting a "disappointment." She really has had it rough but I'm very concerned about her. I'm pretty sure she has post-partum but I do not want to offend her. She's showing signs of resentment--etc... Even if she doesn't have post-partum I really think something is wrong with the picture.
Any advice or suggestions would be great!
2006-11-30 05:36:33 · 12 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I would suggest that you give your friend as much help as you can. If you can spare a couple of hours in the afternoons, go to her house to care for the baby so she can get some rest. Better yet take them both out to the Mall so they can get out and walk around.
In regards to the post-partum, suggest to her that she talk to her ob/GYN or her daughter's pediatrician about her feelings. I remembber when I took my son to his doctor's appointments, his pediatrician always asked me how I was doing. She asked if I was feeling over whelmed or if I was ok. Since she was my pediatrician when I was a child, I felt very comfortable being open with her. My step-mother even found a local support group for young mothers, where the moms could bring their babies. See if your community has something like this set up. If not, you may want to try setting up something.
When a new mother knows that she is not alone in feeling overwhelmed and helpless, it makes things so much easier to bear. Tell your friend that things may be hard now, but the older her daughter gets, the easier it gets. When I was a new mom, the one thing that was amazing to me was that each day, it was easier and easier for me to understand what my son needed and he was capable of doing so much more than he could the day before. When it got really rough, I would always remember that, and it was easy to get through the tough days.
2006-11-30 05:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Post-Partum depression is very common and most times corrects itself after the mother stops lactating. This mother sounds very much afflicted by the syndrome...
To start...watch the baby for her as often as possible so that she can find time away for herself. Buy her a book on the subject and read it first than give it to her to read than you can both discuss the situation. Also know that she needs to know that she is not alone in feeling the way she does many new mothers go through this. If the father is not around she may feel resentment toward him and is taking her frustration out on the baby...this is sad but happens all the time. Assure her that this baby will love her forever and soon everything will be okay.
Go to the doctor with her on her next visit. Have her write her feeling down and give the list to her doctor.
2006-11-30 05:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her husband and family. Post Partum is very serious
if her family isnt interested in helping or seeing the signs the way you do, then you are the one that needs to intervene.Post Partum is natural but the way you are stating your friend feels about her baby makes me worried. The only thing you can do is try to talk to her about and keep a close eye on her. If you see its getting worse where you think the child could be in danger--Call Social Sevices Or See if there is A crisis center in your area you can get counseling for her
If she is resenting her baby and calling her a nuisance
those are warning key words- RED FLAGS SHOULD BE RAISING HERE
That is not natural for a mother to feel this way!!!!
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2006-11-30 05:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Utopia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this does sound like depression. Firstly, you won't be offending her...sit down with her and tell her your thoughts. She must get professional help.
In the meantime she is in need of a kind friend like you. Chores will be a drag for her so you could offer to do some of these, also take the baby off her hands for an hour or so...that would really help.
Ask her about her feelings for her baby, get her to talk then listen.
If she won't seek help is there a health visitor or other professional who could call and she wouldn't suspect because maybe they'd call anyway?
Speak to another member of her family who you and she can trust, see what they think.
She is lucky that you seem to be very aware of the symptoms.
Best wishes
2006-11-30 05:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had terrible post-partum. This is supposed to be the "happiest time in your life" but it's the HARDEST.
Turns out I had a severe thyroid problem which was causing it. Tell her the pregnancy may have permanently screwed up her hormones and she should see her doctor and "be tested." While she is there she should tell her doctor about her symptoms. OB's aren't ANY help with post-partum. If you can't get her to a shrink, get her to go to her regular family practitioner.
2006-11-30 05:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by fastattackcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really the best support for depression is the support of family and close friends such as yourself. You are a very good person to be so concerned about your friend, and hopefully your concern and support (along with the concern and support of other family members of hers) will help through her difficult time. She may have to see her family doctor as well!
Also, whenever you have some time, offer to watch the little one while she goes out and gets some shopping done. Or offer to treat her to lunch or dinner sometime! Good luck!
2006-11-30 05:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..
But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.
Helping you eliminate depression?
2016-05-16 12:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. If that doesn't work consult her other half. If it is post partum depression the ob/gyn needs to know so that they can prescribe her the correct medication. She may not admit to it, therefore you may need to speak with the ob/gyn right away and tell them of your concerns so they can evaluate her. Good Luck!! Hope everything goes well...
2006-11-30 05:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shannon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all be there for her, hormones are going crazy and is also proubly tired if you can help her with feeding and taking care of the baby a little, second call her doctor and try to get her checked out... (hope that didn't sound bad) good luck and keep us posted
2006-11-30 05:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was down for about a month after having my son-I cried every night and just was not happy.I was scared more then anything about being a mom and my freedom being gone.
Can you maybe babysit for her 1 or 2 times a week so that she can go out alone and go shopping or do whatever for a few hours?A break all to myself always helped some.If she is really depressed maybe suggest her seeing a counselor just so that she can vent her feeling to someone who can help.
2006-11-30 05:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by mama of 2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋