painful morose memories
once took the life and air i breathe
wandering in the long dark corridors
there's no one here to hold my hand
take me away from this hell
who will come to save my life
i'm lost and alone
losing my footing and falling again
the world laughs at my demise
but he was there to pick me up
bandage my wrists and take away my pain
turned me around and gave me hope
not a slave to the bottle
the pills or the knife
i find myself here wearing white
holding his hands and saying i do
i hear him telling me
beautiful angel all in white
look at the stars that once cried for you
a ghost in the pale moonlight
you faded in and out of life
here you are now
the rose that was trampled
revived by the rain one trying night
hold on now
you are so close
just hang on tight
don't you know....
you were the one who gave me hope...
2006-11-30 05:21:58 · 12 answers · asked by heaven-sin-t 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
i wrote it just now.... just curious for opinions:-)
2006-11-30 05:22:39 · update #1
please do not say anything about it being emo....please because i am far from it
2006-11-30 05:24:41 · update #2
seeseezsee
you crack me up!
thanks for the compliment though!
2006-11-30 06:48:11 · update #3
i love you, you should send me a email some time
2006-11-30 06:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by seeseezsee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bravo loved every word. Write a chorus and you have also got a good song.
2006-11-30 13:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by Crazy Diamond 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nice. You should try setting it to music. Maybe with:
"hold on now
you are so close
just hang on tight
don't you know....
you were the one who gave me hope..."
as the chorus...
2006-11-30 13:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by JX 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sucks, Depressed, Whinning
2006-11-30 13:24:28 · answer #4 · answered by Allen L 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
It is cliche and sounds like an adolescent wrote it.
Reminds me of Beetleguise when Wynonna Ryder does the poem;
"alone.
I fell so utterly alone"
That was comedy.
2006-11-30 13:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas J 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
i like it, but i think that it needs a little work. it doesn't flow well, but the imagery is really good. try to tighten it up a little.
2006-11-30 13:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Extremely deep. I love it.
2006-11-30 13:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think its beautiful i cant believe you wrote that...
2006-11-30 13:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
great
2006-11-30 13:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by krystal c 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
great poem
2006-11-30 13:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by Henry_Tee 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋