I married my husband because i new he would take care of me financially and i loved him.My parents especially my mom taught me to do this from a young age always saying girls should marry up a class and not down. Now i fear i only fell in love with an image and not the real person.Its been 3 years and i hate myself for marrying to a certain extent for money why do people think it makes you happy?Its caused me nothing but misery for me?
2006-11-30 05:20:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He gives me anything i could want a new car every year, i live in a big house, and i can buy almost anything i want.I feel so lonley though he is never around he is always at work or with friends.Why is this happening to me i did love him in the begining?
2006-11-30 05:23:01 · update #1
I never heard that marring for money would make you happy. i was taught it just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one. I married the man I LOVE.
Ps he is poor but works really hard and is a good man to his soul.
2006-11-30 05:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by Belinda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, clearly you married for the wrong reasons. And if everyone married one "class" up and not down - just think about it for a second - there will never be any marriages. Because in every "one class up" marriage there is a "one class down" at the other end !!!! That was a bad advice from your mom, I'm sorry.
You'll have to make those hard choices in life. We all make mistakes. The question is whether or not you can rectify and change path or do you have to live with those decisions.
Now that you've experienced the truth of money doesn't buy happiness, why not try something else? If you left him, and stayed single for a while, and lived independently, you may realize there's a lot more than living a weathly "mistress".
2006-11-30 05:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Research prooved that money indeed makes someone happier. Rich people were more happy than people with an average income, and poor people were less happy than average. In fact when rich, you can pay off your problems. And probably because you are richer than your neighbour you feel yourself more important, and evidentily happier.
So it is true that money makes you happy. There is a relation! But, there are also more variables in life that make one happy. A nice partner, nice children, getting attention, etc...
I think that the thing that makes us happy is the quality of our life that we live. This quality is dependent on the social average. When our life is better than average, we are happier, when our life is performing under this average we are likely to be less happy.
Perhaps you ask yourself why your parents 'forced' you this idea of happiness. To find the answer you probably have to take a close look at their sitiation. How did they grow up, and how did the world look around that time. Maybe you find out that in that time there were not many other variables to be happy. Nowadays less people are starving and women are now more self sufficient. That is quiet a difference with the past your parents lived in.
2006-11-30 05:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by Emile D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger. Steps_______ Respect each other's views at all times. Listen to each other properly. Give priority to your spouse over everything else in your life. Say "I love you" at least once a day to each other. Start your day with a warm kiss. Take time out and spend a few moments together, alone. Maybe you can go out for a walk or a drive. Talk to each other about your thoughts. Doing this daily helps foster communication between partners. Cook for each other, and appreciate the food. Remember that both of you are one soul and two bodies, so don't ever hurt each other. Don't forget to do the little things that make each of you smile and feel loved. Both are made for each other its true life. Warnings_________ If you cheat on your partner it will ruin your own life, so make sure to always be honest with your spouse. Always listen carefully. Some fights ruin the life even both sides do not know the cause of the fight. have nice day and a happy married life !
2016-03-13 01:06:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that depends. your mom has a point to a degree. if i have a car, the man i date would have to have a better car. if i have a job, he has to make more money than i do. obviously you chose a man that can take care of himself. because when he is able to do that, you know he can take care of you as well.
i went the other way for 7 years. it didn't work. all i got was an imcompetent momma's boy that still can't get his act together. he didn't have a license for 5 of those 7 years, he couldn't even drive a car because he didn't know how to. i always made more money then he did. he never graduated high school and has no interest in getting his GED.
my husband makes 3 times more than i do, owns three cars, works 12 hour days 6 days a week because he has a family to provide for. he has a goal. and he's working to it. he is not satisfied until he can outdo his last goal. it's not about money. and that is where you may have misunderstood. it's about being a better person everyday you wake up and knowing the person you wake up with has that same goal in mind. and works for it everyday.
2006-11-30 05:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were raised to think this so you thought it to be correct, however most people find that money can't buy happiness, just material things. If you feel that you do not love him and maybe never did, it's time to talk to him and explain what you did here. See what he has to say about it. You never know he just might make an attempt to be there for you...and you may find you do love him and not just the money. Don't pass this trait on to your daughters if you ever have any, it will just repeat itself. Good luck.
2006-11-30 05:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet lady, back in the days past, when times were harder, people did not expect as much out of life as we do today. Sometimes people were happy just to have a roof over their heads and something to eat. Well for the most part those days are gone, and so should the myth about money making you happy!!. I know where you are coming from though, I have had a lot of luck myself! Maybe we can share thoughts, if you like. Feel free to email me at deutz6275@yahoo.com
2006-11-30 05:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by hog rock 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money should be *a* consideration, but it shouldn't be *the* *only* or even the primary consideration. I wouldn't necissarily disagree with your mother that a girl should marry up a class. I know more women who married the same class and are misserable than those who married up a class. But obviously, money isn't everything, and there are cases of women who married a lower station and were happier for it.
2006-11-30 05:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with looking for a husband that can provide for a family. It can not however be the main foundation. It may still be possible to turn your marriage around if you and your husband both want to do the work involved.
Try spoiling him rotten for a couple of weeks no bXXing. Watch how he responds. Then get a clear picture of the difficulties you are having in terms of getting your needs met. Communication is absolutely critical even between friends, in a marriage it is the main difference between success and failure.
Remember, there are trade offs. Welcome to the real world. Men need clear and direct terms to be successful in communication. Remember, a mere mortal can not "make" you happy. But there are ways to get your needs met.
2006-11-30 05:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by crazymamaca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why people have this distorted view of life. My man thinks that way. I told him money doesn't buy happiness and he replied, "No, it doesn't, but it does buy you the things you need to get there." That was just stupid. Proves to me he's just a materialistic a$s. Probably why he's more worried about his new stripper girlfriend than he is about me and our baby . . .
2006-11-30 05:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by smarty pants 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋