i've been thinking about it...and i want to know different opinions... if its why?, and if it isn't then what can you do to make things better?...
2006-11-30 05:13:48 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its a general question...its not about a personal problem...
think about any couple that is having problems and tell me if in that case would it be right or wrong...
2006-11-30 05:17:22 · update #1
It should be the absolute LAST resort (murder / suicide should never be considered as options). There's always a path to trying to save a marriage.
There's s bunch of them before divorce comes into the picture.
2006-11-30 05:22:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some cases yes it is. It all depends on the situation. If you and your spouse are fighting alot and getting on each others nerves, then try spending time apart from each other. Don't jump right into divorce. But if you guys have tried many things and nothing seems to work, and problems keep mounting up then maybe try counseling, but if you cant afford counseling may be have a close friend be some kind of buffer between you two and see if there is some kind of lingering issue that can be resolved. If it does come down to the point where you need to just leave then do what makes you happy and what feel right, but just remember you married that person for a reason, there is something about him or her that you felt you couldn't live without and for some reason or another you have lost it. See if you can regain that love, but it always depends on the situations that you find yourselves in. All I can say is good luck to you and i hope that you find happiness again.
Love Much...someone who knows how it feels.
2006-11-30 05:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by jazminestarhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like the electric chair is the ultimate solution to a murderer's life, a divorce is the ultimate solution to a family's problems.
I suggest counselling first. If you still can't resolve the issues at hand, then a divorce may be your answer. Try all avenues of approach before ending your marriage.
If you do not try to make your marriage work, you may regret it later. The problem at hand may look like a mountain to you, but to a third party, the mountain may have a trail right over the top. Ask for help from a counselor, a clergyman, or someone you know that has been married for a long time.
Your friends and family will be biased in your favor, so try not to ask them for advice.
2006-11-30 05:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an awful place, if you are considering this. Everything depends on the situation. Perhaps both of you have had problems in your lives with rejection, a terrible thing. Many of us tend to bring our childhood problems into our marriages, unbeknown to us until years later the irritations set in. What went wrong? What drew you to each other in the first place? Was it lust or a genuine friendship? WHat happened to that friendship? How did you respond to each other when sounding off? Did you listen to wrong advise from people who found you a good ear for their deceptions? Think hard about things. Divorce is a terrible thing. It isolates you from people. Those who are your friends now suddenly dont want you around because you are a threat. What about the poor children involved.... they blame themselves for not keeping you together. THe destruction that follows is unbearable. No wonder the bible says God hates divorce but only allowed it because of the hardness ofmans heart. Rather seek help...even if it means you go out there and deal with your own issues. Its a sacrifice, but the irony is that when you change and become a better person, he suddenly sees you in a different light. You have to find you again. You matter and what you choose matters. All life is about is making the right choices. DOnt dwell on the negative. Rather seek the positive. WHen you are positive, everything around you seems to become positive and visa versa. Really think hard. It takes courage to do the right thing. DOnt lend your ears out to soapies and destructive people. You have to make your life work and not live by what other people think. Really look hard at the truth.
God bless you my friend. I hope you find the answer!
2006-11-30 05:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one possible solution, but hopefully other avenues will be explored before deciding the couple just isn't a good match anymore...but that happens and it's okay. It's actually not "natural" for people to marry and stay together all their lives...humans naturally like variety...they grow/change at different rates and often not the same as their partner...
If a couple really cares about one another and wants to stay together then they should work toward that end...get counseling, discover why their relationship has changed from the "happy times", and work on putting things on a more positive track...
Without a specific issue to address, what they can "do to make things better" can't be answered more than just generally...basically, they need to rekindle that spark they felt in the beginning...before work, kids, "life" got in the way...
2006-11-30 05:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello there, When you guys got married, I assume that you recited some sort of vows that said something about, "better or worse", right? Well during any kind of "worse" times or times when things are not ideal, this is the time that a married couple should show the love they say they have. My friend, if you haven't, take the time to write down exactly what you want to say to your wife, I mean really break it down to yourself first. Then talk to her. If you have already done that, then really ask yourself if you are ready to make to move towards divorce court. It is not fair of me to say that you should divorce her, that is a very personal decision. I guess you should ask yourself, how deep is your love for her? How long are you going to put up with her behavior. Also, remember that she might be going throught something personal herself. Maybe she is scared or stress out herself and just doesn't know exactly how to express it? You are the man and has the man it is your job to sometimes carry the marriage when things get rocky. Make any and all efforts to improve your marriage; that could mean giving her some space, repeatedly talking her, and even marriage counseling. My point is this, if you really love your wife and want your marriage, make sure you are leaving no stone unturned , so if you have to separate of divorce her, you will know that you gave it your all.
2016-05-23 05:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really does depend on the problems. I firmly believe that there are only a few, and I mean a few reasons to get a divorce. Whether you have been married 5 years or 50 years there is not much that cannotbe worked out, especially if there are children involved.
Having come from a broken home myself, I know very well the effects that divorce has on the family, and I don't reccommend it.
2006-11-30 05:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the kind of problems you are having. If the problems are interpersonal between you and your spouse then divorce might be a legitimate option. However, if you want to save your marriage perhaps counseling is the first step before moving to a divorce. If the problems are related to children (either yours or your spouses) they may not be easily overcome. Frequently a spouse who is not the parent of a child finds it ifficult to determine where their loyalty should be - with the child or with the spouse. Your question does not reveal enough detail to give a very thoughtful response
2006-11-30 05:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on if all other solutions have been exhausted.
Have you tried counseling? Is there domestic violence involved?
If it is a d.v. situation, your kids will do much better getting them away from the abuser...even if he does not hurt them, it is setting a pattern telling them that abuse is okay!
Would you want your daughter to live the same life as you are living?
If the answer is no, divorce may be your best option...kids learn by what they see on a day to day basis!
Just remember divorce is never easy..on anyone..try getting help first, if you are not in a violent situation!
2006-11-30 05:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by kat k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never the answer unless you have attended counseling and are still having the same issues and nothing has been resolved
I would definitely try counseling first - it's a great way to tell the other person exactly how you feel without getting criticized for it
2006-11-30 05:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by KrisJH24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a last resort. Work with a counselor to deal with whatever problems you face. You may want to get some one on one counseling before marriage counseling. My wife and I recently reconciled and dismissed our divorce proceedings after 6 months. We worked through most of our problems in the last two months.
2006-11-30 05:18:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋