I work with a woman with very nasty opinions about Asians and Native Americans. When she mentioned them, I corrected her and let her know that her comments were offensive (and believe me, they were).
She's on probation for other reasons and in an attempt to save her job, she told mgmt that I'm planning to file suit against the company for racial discrimination. This pisses me off, because she wouldn't have made this claim if I were Caucasian. Since this isn't true, I want someone to let her know that this is completely unacceptable, but, instead I was told to sit tight and be patient, because she's going to lose her job soon anyway.
I can't get over being pissed off. Am I wrong to expect management to take this woman to task? They're aware of her opinions, but everyone squirms whenever the word "bigotry" is mentioned
2006-11-30 05:03:16 · 14 answers · asked by LifesAMystery 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Thank you everyone for responding. I feel a lot better about the situation and will attempt to embrace patience.
I would like to disagree with the comment I'm a bigot because I believe that she wouldn't have lied if I were Caucasian. This isn't bigotry. I have yet to hear of a white person filing a racial discrimination lawsuit. I feel that by chosing a lie based on my race, she went too far. She could have said I cursed at her, that I stole from petty cash, anything, but she chose to go the race route. I truly don't believe that she would have done this if I were white.
2006-11-30 05:43:37 · update #1
I just got the news that she's being terminated. Thanks again everyone! This has been a good lesson.
2006-11-30 06:52:24 · update #2
You were absolutely right to stand up and speak up whether it was for yourself or someone else!
The Bible teaches us that it is worse for someone to stand by and do nothing than what the offending person is actually doing.
You aren't going to be able to resolve this issue with this woman. It sounds as though the company is well aware of her tactics. They have to be cautious in handling this situation so that they don't come out looking like the bad guys.
Just remember, by continuing to be overcome by anger, you are giving her all of your power. Do you really want to do that? Do you want to waste your precious time, your precious energy on that sorry excuse for a human being?
In the end, you have to make sure you can stand before God with a clean conscience. You did something wonderful, something pure by standing up to what is right in a world that has gone so horribly wrong. Don't taint that beauty with the ugliness of anger.
I hope that if you ever find yourself in this type of situation again, that you will still have the strength and courage to do the right thing.
If you haven't already done so...
Try talking to your immediate boss. Explain that not only were you offended by what she said because it was racial, but are concerned about the comments she made to management about you. Explain that you don't have any intentions of filing a lawsuit as she stated. Tell them that was an absolute lie. Tell them that you just spoke up because it was right to do so and that neither yourself or any of the other employees felt that you should have to listen to her racial rantings. Tell them that her behaviour makes it uncomfortable for everyone and you spoke up hoping to put an end to it.
Then just let it go. It's in their hands and off your conscience.
2006-11-30 05:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to excuse this woman, because there is no excuse, but I am going to ask you to slow down for a moment.
First, to express this much emtion and anger over what a damaged person says, gives her power over you. I know you do not want this person in control over your feelings and your career, but you are the only one that can give her the victory of having got to you or deny her the prize. You have every right to be very pissed off, and you have the ability to make her very happy that she got you that way.
She went to management to discuss the filing of a suit, which makes human resourses be very careful how they fire her, so they do not get filed against themselves, for wrongful termination. Even if they win, that can be very expensive for a company. She wouldn't have a job. so she would have nothing else to do and the lawyers will take the case in hopes of a settlement. You can't fire someone for being a bigot, that is a belief or an opinion. You can only fire someone for a behavior such as unprofessional conduct, violation of company poilcy related to discrimination, inappropriate behavior which was demonstrated.
You are right that she wouldn't have made the claim if you were white, very few peole that are white can claim racial discrimination and when they do, I just figure they went off their meds again.
When management is being careful on how they fire someone or take them to task, you don't get to watch, it is not a spectator sport, nor is it something that they can discuss without putting themselves at risk for violating her privacy. Again, lawsuit. You are not going to get to enjoy any payback on this, that only happens on television. You will just be able to get to come to work one day and never have to look at or listen to her again. You will not have the oppurtunity to change her views, you do not have the ability to change her views, and I really don't see why you would want to waste your time trying.
Sorry about the spelling, I couldn't get spell check to work
2006-11-30 06:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by PJ H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, her lying and falsely telling them you were going to file a suit against the company is far beyond just bigotry. I'm not up on legal issues, but I am sure her doing that REALLY could have cost her. And actually all of this should have by now (and maybe has?). At least you know that she will be leaving, maybe they are just waiting until the holidays are through. Good luck.
2006-11-30 09:55:32 · answer #3 · answered by Indigo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your anger is understandable to a degree. But you have already stated that the proper steps to be taken are in motion by her employer.
Be patient, you'll get satisfaction the day they walk her out the door.
And NO, you are not wrong in expecting others to stand up against bigotry.
Bigotry exists against ALL races, religions, sexual orientation, etc., etc., etc.
Even you just made the comment: "she wouldn't have made this claim if I were Caucasion".
Guess what? That's bigotry also!
You can make your contribution to society by being a morally righteous person and treat everyone equal and with as much respect as you expect from them.
I think you heart is in the right place, but you are letting your anger dictate your emotions. Calm down, bide your time, and she will get what is coming to her.
Good luck, and I hope this helps.
2006-11-30 05:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by Dick 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For the most part the Merican system was put in place to advance whites, that's changes somewhat along the way but whites here have never really had to fight against racial predjudice so it really doesn't matter too much to them.
They are comfortable and content as any race would be if they were the majority race. Whites aint gonna have their lives up-rooted for some sh!t that doesn't really apply to them... life's hard enough!
2006-11-30 08:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by huckleberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong. they are wrong. when i first started my job people here threw the n word around left and right. i put my foot down on several occasions (i am white). i don't believe in that kind of behavior from anyone and i will not tolerate it. i have not heard that word used in this company in the last 4 years. they may still do it but they make damn sure i can't hear them. i'm sorry you have to deal with this but unfortunately there will always be ******* that will do it. if she does it again i would go directly to my superior and make it known that if something is not done about her you will make a claim. you have every right to work in an environment where you are not verbally abused.
2006-11-30 05:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know about where you work, but I worked in a place that had a whole procedure they had to go through before firing someone. It took about two months to get rid of someone. Once fired, the process protected against possible lawsuit. Since you've been told she's gong to lose her job soon, your company may have a similar system. Why stress yourself? You can't do more than what's being done.
2006-11-30 05:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know how it would save her job to have people believe you were filing suit against the company for racial discrimination.
But she should be corrected for stating her offensive beliefs.
Management should certainly do something about this woman. (If they are squirming around the word bigorty then why won't they do something to this bigot?
It sounds like an odd place to work.
2006-11-30 05:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It only takes ONE person to stand up and do what's right.It seems to me that you may be the only One who can do it.Stand up for your rights and tell this woman that she's way off base and that she's the one with the problem.I would feel sad for someone who has to put down others to make herself look good.YOU have the right to state your opinion too.Don't be to hard on your co-workers,it's SAFE to keep your mouth shut and most people are scared to death of conflict.Stand your ground and people will respect you for it.
2006-11-30 05:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you recommend "has come to"? Christianity has continually been hateful and bigoted. have you ever no longer examine Paul? It seems such as you are the "so-noted as" Christian, because of the fact you oppose numerous issues perfect and urged interior the Bible. It seems such as you are the single perverting "God's be conscious." and that i understand the excuse for it. you're a extra good individual than the God character interior the Bible.
2016-10-13 10:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋