over the last couple of weeks i have been unfaitful to my wife with someone from work. I have met this person while my wife was away... I have not had sex however we have kissed.
My wife has now found out about it and is adamant that the marrige is over. To make matters worst we are due to move into our new house on Saturday. It's not looking like we are moving toguether anywhere. I take full blame for what has happened but I don't know why I have done it. My marrige is very solid and preatty good, plus I love my wife very much... I need help finding out why I did it!!
2006-11-30 04:43:44 · 39 answers · asked by AERO001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know why i did it - the thrill the chase and im just an idiot bloke who needs to pack his bags and move on
2006-11-30 05:59:02 · update #1
Maybe your marriage wasn't as sound and as good as you say.
Seek counseling. We can't find out why for you.
You probably have some deep seated issue or fantasy that a professional could help you with.
2006-11-30 04:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by starrdevine 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There could be something missing in your marriage but also moving house is very stressful, a heck of a lot of work and not much fun. Maybe you saw this other woman as a distraction. It's not an excuse but may be part of the reason. It's a good thing that it only amounted to a kiss.
If you feel your marriage was otherwise very solid and you really love your wife I would try to win her back. Keep trying. She has to know that she can trust you again. I hope things work out for you both.
2006-11-30 04:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by nettyone2003 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh that must be eating at you badly. To be honest you probably did it for the thrill. I've done it before, when my relationship was at its best and i thought i would never do a thing like that but i did. And to be honest, it takes two to tango, so the other woman was obviously coming onto you, and you liked the attention and went for it. I think your wife will eventually get over. She can't be angry with you about it forever, its just human nature unfortunately and I'm sure you're wife is no saint (don't get me wrong in saying that) I'm sure she's done things in life that she regrets, and she will get over it. But only as long as you are telling the truth that it was only a kiss and nothing more. We do all go through this at some stage in our lives, and we learn from these foolish mistakes and hopefully don't attempt them again! Good luck, and i hope things work out for you!
2006-11-30 04:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear what a mess your in. The real answer is, and you should already know this is that, there's NO excuse for cheating. Do people who "really love" and respect their partners go and cheat on them, even if it is only the one time?
No of course not, people who do really love their partner and respect them - DO NOT CHEAT at anytime.
Theres always plenty of excuses branded about as to why people get involved in this kind of stuff, but thats what they are, excuses as well as weak cover-ups for cheating behaviour.
After all, why would anyone who really loves their partner ever want to cheat on them? There's No excuse - there's only the truth. And yes, the truth can be hard to accept, but people need to stop making excuses and look within theiir heart as to the real reason as to 'why'.
I'm sorry your marriage is under threat and may come to an end over 'just a kiss' and I do hope things can be sorted out between you and your wife, but lets be honest here, even a kiss involves not only the physical act, but emotional attachment to the other person as well, wither you kissed this other woman once or a hundred times over, you have nonetheless cheated in your heart and deceived your wife. You know it was wrong.
It's understandable your wife will be upset, even if it was only a kiss as you say. You have broken that special bond you had with your wife in your marriage as well as the trust she had in you.
Although you may well love your wife very much, but obviously there wasen't enough of the 'very much' love to stop you.
You may love her in all sorts of ways and for the things she does, she could even be the best wife in the world for all I know, but face it, at that time, you didnt love her enough to stop yourself.
I know this will feel such an uncertain time for you and your wife but please try and sort yourself out. Look at the real reason for your behaviour and if your wife decides to give your marriage another try, then try to recapture the love you once had, remain faithful and maybe things will be ok. However, some people can be so devestated and extremely hurt by what they discover, that they just cannot go back into the relationship even if its to try and work things out, and thats the other possiability you must face.
I hope you can work things out.
Goodluck
2006-11-30 06:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by snogger18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to justify what you did by any means,because as you know your an idiot.
What I will say is, if it is true that you have only kissed this other woman,then perhaps you should question why your wife is going to let this marriage end on as little (although wrong)
as a snogging session.
Perhaps, you should find out from her if she was as happily married to you and you seem to think, and question how solid in fact it was.
Strikes me this might have been the excuse she was looking for to end the marriage and you just gave it to her on a plate.
Not so thrilling now is it? just think what your going to loose if this divorce goes through! and all for a snog , not even a good leg over.
2006-12-02 22:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thing is........you were emotionally unfaithful and your wife's trust in you has probably been shattered. Unfaithful is not just about sex. If you marriage was solid why did you put it at risk? As for help knowing why you did it........I dare say you know. Usually it is boredom and the thrill of something different showing an interest rather than make an effort to pep up what you already have.
2006-12-02 05:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound very mature: a marriage is a huge commitment to someone and a way of telling them that you want no one but them.
You involved your wife in a game she didn't want to play, and, if I were her, I wouldn't know how to trust you ever again. The thought of it would never go away. I'd disagree when you said your marriage is solid. A marriage is two people, and only one of you seems to have been decent.
Only possible reasons I can think of are that you're bored with the day-to-day reality of a marriage, as opposed to the excitement of an office affair. Househunting, paying bills etc can be pretty tedious, it's true.
I don't know what to say to you. I think the kindest thing you can do now is accept whatever decision your wife comes to, and cross your fingers that she can find it in herself to forgive you.
Not sure you deserve it, but good luck...
2006-11-30 04:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHY YOU CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE: a) your a guy and guy's get bored, I suppose you got caught up in something fresh and exciting and couldn't contain yourself, don't feel too bad though. OK you have fucked up a great chance of happiness, But truth be told you wouldn't have cheated had you not been fed up with the relationship. yeah you still love her, and always will but you want to play the field and it's time. all men want to know they are attractive and any woman willing to have sex with you is always a plus, and who can resist the thrill.
2006-11-30 05:37:09 · answer #8 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do WE do these things ----my wife doesn't understand me --- she's getting boring -- the children take precedence over you -- ohhh so many things -- and ????? what about the woman you snogged --was she married ????--and snogging another woman --- Is that infedility -- errr i think not -- as long as the lips you kissed were on her face --is your marriage THAT flimsy that a snog can ruin it -- time to look to your inner self ---How did the wife find out ????? she must trust you (not) if she goes looking to see what your'e doing --- perhaps she's bored with you -- and now youv'e given her a solid reason to kick you into touch------ But all that aside ---- why did you do it ----- for gods be honest with yourself -- you know bloody well why you did it -- you fancied the girl -- wanted to get inside her knickers --- god we all have these desires ---but most of us are honest enough to accept the fact that if we get lucky enough to smell the promised land we ain't stupid enough to let the wife find out ------ you did because you were flattered --- get real son ------
2006-11-30 05:05:11 · answer #9 · answered by harryinfrance 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you were afraid of where your life was and was going. You were getting ready to make another commitment by moving, and were probably trying to fight the change somehow. Even if you didn't want to cheat on your wife, you did it because it made you feel in control of something. It's too bad because it sounds like your marriage could very well be over because of it. I know if my husband kissed another woman, i would not stay with him. I couldn't live with the fact that he had given her something that he promised to me. Even a kiss. I could forgive him, but i couldn't trust him and couldn't stand to have him touch me. I wouldn't want to be his if he is not mine anymore. Maybe she will be able to get over her feelings with some counselling. At least try to get her to go to counselling and talk about what happened and why. Maybe through counselling you can make her understand that you do love her, and get her to trust you again.
2006-11-30 04:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you said that your wife was away? you mean that becoming like that woman since work and knowing that you guys are planning to do something... before your wife was away. so, really if you did love your wife and your marriage is very solid and pretty good... so you mess up dude. you made that choice. again you said you are taking full blame for what has happended there that your answer.
2006-11-30 05:08:52 · answer #11 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋