When you get married, do you also sign up for the in-laws?

Answer 1

yep... Being married means you get inlaws. Luckily for me, mine are great!

Answer 2

Oh, yeah...big time.

But, it doesn't have to be a living nightmare:
1) In laws can be great! It's always nice to have family around for special occasions and most in laws welcome new members to the family.
2) If the inlaws border on outlaws, it may be wise to place some distance between them and you and your spouse, especially during the first years.
3) Avoid making negative judgments of inlaws at the first meeting. Some families are very stand-offish and don't warm up quickly. (My family hugs and kisses, my wife's family shakes hands...maybe. But, they're very nice.)
4) One of the biggest challenges are holidays. Who's going to go to which house on which holiday? This almost always involves compromise and doesn't have to be a pitched battle. Typically, one set of in laws is more posessive than another, especially if those inlaws have only one child.
5) No matter what the inlaw conflict, the adult child of that family, whether it be you or your spouse, needs to take the lead in solving the problems with that family. After all, that's where you come from - if anyone knows how to deal with a family, it's a member of that family. The couple needs to be committed to each other and disengage from previous family loyalties - when push comes to shove.

Sometimes you will wonder how in the heck your spouse turned out to be the way that they are given your experience with the spouse's family. But, hey, life wouldn't be fun without a little conflict, right?

Answer 3

Yes, like it or not. You need to like it. Be kind and always be careful how you answer and how you react. Better to say less and whatever you do, don't gossip about one to the other. In a new family you need to be loyal. That is the key word and the other key word it patience. Your husband/wife will always stay on your side and agree with you, but in the long run and as the years go by, the spouse will respect you for how you have treated your new in-laws. If you are rude and outspoken, he/she will always judge you for how you have treated his/her parents. No matter what they say or do in their old age, always remember to not comment on any of it. Use great wisdom, before commenting or belittling, your in-laws. Good Luck.

Answer 4

No you do not.

It does however help if both husband and wife can rub along with the respective parents.

If that does not happen, then either someone lied about liking the other's family or they just don't gel.

My suggestion would be an honest admission prior to marriage about any dislikes, and an effort made to be "nice". If the opposite set of parents cannot stand you, then in fairness you should be free to be as horrible back to them as they are to you.

Personally, in one relationship my own parent loathed my partner at the time. My response was that it was my choice and that said parent needed to make a choice as to whether to accept her or lose me.

Sadly the relationship ultimately ended, but to this day I stand by my actions.

Answer 5

Yes. You do.
However, that does NOT mean that they get to treat you like crap OR that you need to make their dysfunctional behavior a part of your life. If that is what is happening, your spouse must put his or her foot down and either insist that they stop the crap or that the two of you will no longer be visiting.

Answer 6

You have to deal with his family, so in a way you are marrying them also.

Answer 7

Yes........when you marry someone you marry their family too. That is just a realistic part of being married.

Answer 8

They're usually part of the burden, I mean package of being married.

Answer 9

Yeah, but I didn't ask for them. They came free with a return policy. I'm cashing in the return policy with a divorce.

Answer 10

No sign up needed, they're included free (on both sides) whether wanted or not.