My best friend, Dustin, came out about a year ago. I was the first one he told because he knew I wouldn't judge him. He basically text me and said....I made out with a guy. He wanted me to talk to his new boyfriend. So I talked to Chris and it was cool. But over the past year they have been on and off. Dustin isn't too comfortable with the whole having a boyfriend and being committed thing so he stays away from it. Chris is really open and doesn't understand why Dustin is being this way. During the past fewmonths though me and Chris have become really good friends. In fact maybe even better friends than Dustin and I ever were. Dustin I've known longer but I just can't help but feel bad for Chris. He really loves Dustin. I know that Dustin thinks Chris is a great person and friend but when Chris said I love you he didn't say it back. So now Chris is heart broken and I don't know how to make him feel better. I love them both but Dustin keeps hurting Chris and i don't know how to help....
2006-11-30 04:38:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you really can't help without choosing sides and i really don't think you want that. just tell them whatever happens with them you will still be a friend to both
2006-11-30 05:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by Ron N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like Dustin may be scared - either of being outed or of being in a committed relationship. Either way, he's not ready for what Chris is offering.
There may not be anything you can do for Chris at this point except to be there for him. Nothing you can say is going to make Dustin grow up or Chris stop feeling what he feels. The most you can say to Chris is that you think the problem isn't about Chris at all, it's about Dustin.
It's a scary thing when you think your life is going to go one way, and then suddenly it's done a 180. Dustin probably grew up expecting to get married, have kids, find a nice job... and now suddenly he's in a relationship with another guy and his expectations are all up in the air. Add to that the fact that the guy in question is talking Love and it's not surprising he's really confused right now.
2006-11-30 04:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by triviatm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not eveyone can fall in love at the same time. You can't force someone to love you and if you do, it isn't true. Chris seems a bit to sensitive to me and needs to let Dustin open up on his own and explain why things aren't working out for him. Dustin is not at fault if he doesn't have the same feelings as Chris.
2006-11-30 04:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Stevie K. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm going to say you sit down with both of them seperately. Sit down with Dustin and ask him why he can't commit to Chris. See if you can make him see that he has a great guy who loves him. Encourage Dustin to let his fears go and enjoy being in love.
Then sit with Chris and let him know you have tried. Tell him no matter what you are both of thier friends and will be there for them. Love em both, encourage he growth of thier partnership and hope/pray for the best for them.
2006-11-30 04:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately just like all relationships, you can be there to listen but it is really something that only the two of them can work out.
2006-11-30 04:42:27 · answer #5 · answered by plyshadow 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep being there for them.
2006-11-30 05:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend in need is a friend in deed
2006-11-30 04:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by yusdz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u cant help.. its a boy thing! just b there for both
2006-11-30 04:41:11 · answer #8 · answered by AussieGal777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let it run its own course ther is not much for you to do
2006-11-30 04:42:15 · answer #9 · answered by duckie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it doesn't matter if he is gay.
2006-11-30 04:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by Webballs 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋