This past year, my son has wanted to spend every weekend at his best friend's house. Its getting so my husband and I rarely can do any activities with him. My husband used to take him fishing all summer long, but now my son has lost interest in that too. I know this is probably all normal, but how do I make my husband feel better about it? He is taking it personally.
Also, I've quit making my son go to church with my daughter and I (hubby doesn't go) because I am tired of fighting with him about it. Is that wrong? I used to have this rule that he couldn't spend the night somewhere on Saturday, because of church Sunday morning, but that just made him resentful. He hates to go to church. So does my husband.
2006-11-30 04:30:59 · 8 answers · asked by :-) literary cappy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Honey, the answer is: he's 12. He's going through puberty and trying to gain a sense of self. As long as he's not lighting fires or taking drugs and you know what he's doing, who his friends are, etc., allow him to do his thing. Ask lots of questions, keep involved, and someday you'll get your son back. But when he's, like, 25. Good luck.
2006-11-30 04:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being that your son is only 12, and chooses to do what he wants, you can't even imagine how much farther your son will drift away by the time he's 15, he'll be so far away from you, you wont even be able to hug and kiss anymore. You should have never allowed him to choose friend over church. Why cant he stay at friends house on Friday, and be home sat. to go to church. Just because your hubby doesn't go he should insist that his son go weekly, or there will be no overnight stays the following week.
2006-11-30 12:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by Fred H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, this is completely normal. He wants a social life at school. Even I, as a teenager, Doesn't spend time with my family instead i try more time to spend time with my friends. In case I lose contact and of course lose my social life. To make your husband feel better wellll... I suppose you guys should schedule dinner together *like my family* it connects the family together. So just remember say, BE HOME BY DINNEER! ^.^ Good luck!
2006-11-30 12:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by simplekissfo.lilaznbabe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is so common it should be in the books we get for babies. Really all kids go thru it. Just tell your son (privately) that he needs to go fishing with his Dad if he wants to go anywhere else for a while. And if he doesnt go with Dad he doesnt go anywhere else. Beleive me it will work. As far as sending your child to church if he hates it that much it isnt doing him any good anyway might as well leave him home.
2006-11-30 12:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband wants to do any activity like fishing with your son maybe he could invite your son's friend to go along also. That might establish a link.
2006-11-30 12:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh i can relate. i was forced to go to church too. the fact that i was forced to go made me resist even more. and even if i didn't hate church i have grown to dislike it because forcing gives a little malice--you get me? my parents made church look like a bad thing because they were pounding really hard to get me to go, i thought if its good then why am i beong forced. anyway, its normal for him to become interested in other things un-family like, at that age being with family is "not cool". for them, independence is cool. i suggest you have him invite his friends over. let them hang out. it will not stop him from engaging in pre pubescent activities but at least you know where he is and what he is doing(or at least monitor him) and you will get to know his friends. at this stage you have to try and act like a friend more than a mother because your son will not be open to you even about the slightest things because your motherly instincts tell you to reprimand him. listen to him, open up more mature conversations that suite his age. encourage his friends to join in family activities like going to the movies and getting ice cream. be that way to all your kids so that he wont feel you are babying him.give him privacy when he has friends over too. let them order pizza and play video games. before this, sit him down and tell him the house rules. give him the money and the liberty to decide what kinda pizza to order--just things like that will make him feel you respect the fact that he is growing up. never reprimand in front of others or else he will be more resentful of your rulings.
2006-11-30 13:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by painintheneck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, do you know this best friend very well or his parents? If not you should really check into how and what he is spending his time doing....
Make a weekly family night where you play games like every monday and let the kids know that theres no getting out of it family is most important...
if he throws a fit dont let him go over to his friends....its a privledge to go over not something to expect (which is wht it sounds like)
Hes also at that age where its "too cool" to be seen with your family.....dont give up...keep up disipline and keep him out of trouble
2006-11-30 12:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by mommy2be in march! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should put your foot down and be the boss! I bet you if you say NO ,and stand in his path he WONT go anywhere!
2006-11-30 13:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by ~*meli$sa*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋