Can someone give me their opinion on this situation?

Question

My husband has an email acct that was set up and never used, at least not to my knowledge. I knew it was set up a long time ago but forgot all about the darn thing until I went to log on to my hotmail yesterday and the email address was already in the box. I was like oh yeah, hey I remember this address. I was like hey whats the password, and he told me. I was going to send a funny email to his normal acct. Well when I log in, there is only one email address in his contact list and it was to this girl, supposedly she is a friend from high school. No big deal right? But he has her email in his regular acct. I asked him how often he checked this "new acct" he said he checks in it once in awhile and hadn't in a long time. If I remember correctly, you have to ck it at least every 30 days or it locks you out. When I pursued the conversation, he said he only used it to email her b/c he didn't want me to get mad that he was talking to her. What do you think?

When he found this old friend on classmates, he didn't mention to her that he was married or expecting a baby, just that what he had been doing the last few years. The email that is on his normal acct for her is a different email than on this "new acct". Why didn't he ever email her on his regular acct and why does't he have anyone else, mom brother sister anyone on this "new acct". Just this one person??? Its just all to fishy for me and I'm not buying the whole, I haven't talked to her in months. B/c he told me he checks it every once in awhile to see if she has emailed him back.

I thought about writing her from that acct but he can just as easily set up another new acct and me never know and inform her of whats going on. Keep in mind we live in Texas, she lives in California...

No there is no sent messages, no response messages, no trash, no junk, nothing. He pretty much cleans up behind whatever is done.

Well I already look over his shoulder b/c he has given me other reasons in the past... not the same as now, something sorta different, but he already new how I feel. So its too late not to jump the gun about it... like I said, its not a first time occurence, but for this exact situation it is.

Answer 1

Why would you be mad if he was talking to her just as a friend? Obviously he is hiding it because it is wrong. If there was nothing inappropriate going on, you would've known about it. I've reconnected with a bunch of people from high school, my hubby knows all about it! Emails & all!

Answer 2

The whole thing sounds a bit bizarre to me... Do you actually know and keep track of all the e-mail addresses your husband has? How do you even know so much about what's going on in his "regular" e-mail/"new e-mail" and whatnot. I have several e-mail accounts (personal, work, business, spam, surveys), and it would never even occur to my husband to freak out about it or question me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with e-mailing an old friend from school; I think, your husband might have thought that you would have over-reacted (exactly as you're doing now), and this is why he kept a low profile. It sounds to me like you're making a big deal over nothing; if he was "hiding" some big secet, do you think he would have given you his password? Give him some personal space, for crying out loud.

Maybe there *is* something fishy going on, I don't know. If he's had a history of lying to you in the past, or if there are other circumstances surrounding this particual incident that you did not mention in your question, the picture might very well be different. As of right now, I don't see anything to be paranoid about.

Answer 3

I think this is ok from a guy's stand point.

And I have cheated so I know the signs. :(

If he was hiding it he would have said he forgot the password, but he gave it to you, because he trusts you. But the reason he is doing this on the side is maybe he feels your a little bit too jealous?

Even now I don't cheat any more, I just like to have somethings on the side, not because I am hiding it, but because it makes me feel I can have a personal converstation without worry it is being viewed by others. Maybe he was just venting about work, and you was already busy, or wanted to run an romantic idea for you to someone he trusted.

Don't jump the gun, and don't start looking over his shoulder all the time (it will force him to hide even more). Let it pass, but put a reminder in a couple of weeks to look into it again after the dust settles.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

i would be worried about it if she lived like 20 minutes away or something. but she doesn't. but he would have given you the password because he knows that he cleans all the messages out so there is no proof that he is doing anything. the fact that he did not include you in his present life to her is weird though, i would ask him why he didn't. i would see if he changes the password. and check it every once in a while when he's not around to see if you can find any messages. although if there really is something going on, he will make a new account and not tell you so he can continue.

i would just tell him that you don't care if he talks to this person but his hiding it is not going to work out. if he wants to talk to her then he needs to tell you. end of story. if he doesn't like it, too bad.

Answer 6

It's more like 90 days of inactivity - check with the particular email provider.

That's not the issue - the issue is he is sniffing around for some new trim on the side. He is lying about her so as to soften the blow.

Take it from a guy who has heard guys talk about every lame-a$s excuse in the world so wifey won't chop their balls off. He is full of it.

For some free fireworks, write her yourself from that account. She'll think it's him. Then we'll see what's going on. Might as well check the cell phone bill while you're at it and his recent call list on his phone. Boo-yah!

Answer 7

Well it may be nothing, maybe they are rekindling old times of when they were young and he doesn't want you to get upset if they were more than friends at some point. But if he loved you in any way then he should be completely honest with you so that you don't have this suspicion going on. I mean generally the rule goes more than one e-mail means something is up. Just try and get the honest truth from him, don't get into his account, it will only back fire on you, and that is not what you want to happen.

Answer 8

I think he is trying to hide something. Whether or not he is having any kind of affair is a whole new ballgame, but it seems like he is trying to hide the fact that he has a female friend to keep you from getting angry. Since he said he uses it just for her makes me think that they talk about things married people shouldn't talk about with others. Don't confront him but check the acct frequently. Forward anything strange to your email, then mark his message as unread.

Answer 9

I am a male and I have yahoo and hotmail and I always give my wife my email and password for her to check it because I have nothing to hide. and I always talk to my friend who is my friend told her i was married and have 2 kids and she was bum out because of that but I told my wife and she like ohh ok why are you telling me? because I love you and I want you to know that all....

I remember telling my wfie i am going to the movies with a woman who I are friend nothing more and she asked me why are you telling me because i want to be the first person to tell you not anyone before me... and funny thing my wife came home the next day and siad you are right alot people said that I saw your husband with other woman???? and my wife told those women that Oh I already know my husband tells me all the time want to be the first husband to tell not from someone else.

All the women like you so lucky to have a husband that really loves you and share things with you. I told her see why???

Now your husband didn't tell her that he was married to you and expecting a baby... so and only one account with his friend girl... so something is not right. So, tell him that I won't get mad if you just told me what going on until i have to find the hard way???

Look there a guy who share email and pass word 2 of them with his wife and he always tell his wife before anyone tell her. I wish you would done like that. For right now I don't know what you up to and you have a long way to get my trust... seem like you like her but you too busy worry about her feelings than me.

I look at your picture you are very smart, pretty, and your smile made my day! I do hope that he wake up and work it out for you.

Answer 10

Why would he be e-mailing her in the 1st place? And you do have to check them every 30 days. And why was it already in the box if he hadn't logged on in a while. He may be telling the truth but keep your eyes open