My husband hates my family.....?

Question

My family has always been close and recently i moved about an hour away from them. My husband hates that i go visit them once every two weeks. He thinks that they are a bunch of no good loosers. We're trying to have a baby and he said he don't want our kids to be a part of their world. How do i get him to understand that i need to be around my family and that i dont want my parents not to see their grandchildren?

Answer 1

This is a very serious issue that you need to settle BEFORE you bring a child into your relationship. Red flags should be going off in your head, pay attention!!!

Your husband is telling you "loud and clear" what you can expect if you have a child with him. Unless you are willing to give up your family for him, you'd better reconsider your decision to have a baby with this person.

Family is very important and it sounds like you have a loving relationship with yours. Don't let your husband make you "choose" between them and him. (In my opinion there's no choice - he'd lose!)

Loving and successful marriages are built on love and respect. Your husband doesn't "respect" you or your family. If he did he wouldn't be making such ridiculous demands. That should tell you what type of person he is.

He sounds very insecure and immature. You need to seek some outside help to work through this. Unless your husband is willing to "work on this", I don't see much hope for a happy marriage.

If your husband isn't willing to change his attitude towards your family, you'd better be prepared for a miserable life without them. It would be very selfish and unfair to bring a child into a marriage with so little love and respect.

Good luck, you're going to need it.

Answer 2

You need to explain to your husband that what he says about your family reflects on you. I understand we all have family members we are not proud of, but to consider the entire family losers is just crazy. You are considering having a child with this man who can't stand your family. I had an ex husband like that. He got to the point where he didn't want me to see my friends or ever leave the house, then became abusive. If this is how you would like to live the rest of your life, then by all means do so. However, I fear that if you don't get out now there will be hell to pay. If he is like this now, wait until the baby comes. He will put your family down in front of him and that will also include yourself. You should really consider moving further into this relationship. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 3

I hate to say this but this marriage is not going to last unless your husband changes his mind about your family, which makes me wonder why would you marry a man that hates your family, and why would he get married to you, I mean did either of you not see what was going to happen in this situation? If you bring a child into this world you have to stop and think how healthy is it going to be for the two of you to be fighting all the time about why and when you can take your child to see your family, your husband made it clear he does not want the child around them, do you not think that this is going to cause a HUGE ISSUE for the two of you? I think the two of you need to sit down and really talk about the situation some more before bringing an innocent child into your drama, not fair to the child.

Answer 4

hhhmmm...mmmmm I don't really think he hates your family "HATE" is really a deep word, but maybe he just doesn't like the idea of you once in a while visiting your family, though i exactly know how you feel... because I'm very much attach to my family and i can't imagine myself being deprive by my future husband to visit my family... But being and standing in the shoes of your husband, I'm sure there are great reasons why he doesn't want you to visit your family. Have you ever ask him why? if he didn't give you the answer maybe he finds it hard to open things up for you, because his afraid of hurting you.
there are no perfect advice or tips that people can give, because it won't actually change anything, matters such as this should really and only be settled by you to guys by means of talking. Conversation is always the key to meet both guys and partners differences. trust me sis... Always be happy...

Answer 5

I can buy that your family may be losers, but no good? I'm sure they must have some good qualities or you wouldn't want to be around them. Write out a list of good qualities they possess, and then sit down with your husband for a talk. Tell him you agree with him that certain decisions some of your family members have made were not so great. Then tell him they have good qualities too. Show him your list and tell him that these are the things you would like a child to take away from your family. Reassure him that you'll be talking with your child about what examples to follow and what examples not to follow.

Answer 6

Your husband needs to grow up. Let him be miserable in the fact that you go & visit with your family. No one should ever tell you or keep you from seeing your family. He can live with is reasons as to why he doesn't like your family... make it clear to him that you will continue to visit your family & they will get to see their grandchildren. A relationship isn't soley about one person's views or opinions.. or emotions for that matter. It takes 2 to make it work & to work things out. Communication is key... so talk with him & perhaps have him go to counselling for his issues with your family. There's a reason for it & he needs to work it out. He knew how you & your family was before he married you... so he needs to figure out what the big deal is now.

Answer 7

If your family is important for you, it's right you tell him about this problem!
Your family will be always a part of your life...and your husband too (i think)...have you ever try to meet husband&family around a table for a dinner?...
Good luck!

Answer 8

What are his reasons for not liking your family? Are his reasons justifiable? Is he genuinely worried about the well being of your future children? If you can't or won't agree on how to raise your children, you should stop trying until you can come to a compromise.

The biggest thing is.... Is he telling you a truth you don't want to hear, or is he just being irrational?

Answer 9

Do you happen to know why he dislikes them so much?

You should never let a man, husband or not, keep you from family members. Some friends, yes, but never family. UNLESS they know you are being abused, or have been, or knows your family use you.

You two need to talk. Find out the bottom line as to why he feels their losers.

Answer 10

Just let him know that you came from that "bunch of no good losers" He can like it or stuff it. Men are not rulers where I come from. Relationships involve two people, you have a right to stand up for what you believe in.