im bestfriends with this guy that i met online. ive known him for over 2yrs and hes the most amazing person i ever met. hes very motivated, goes to college during the day and works almost all night. and somehow he still finds time to spend chatting with me. he cares a lot about me and i care a lot about him but im nothing like him. im 18 with no lisence, no job and im struggling through highschool. i have no idea why he chose me to be his bestfriend but we have been for over 2yrs. he even sent me money because i couldnt afford stuff for school. it makes me feel really guilty. i also believe this is why we never dated. i can tell he likes me but im afraid he never pursued a relationship with me because im not as motivated as he is. do you think this is true? and if so should i change for him?
2006-11-30 03:18:52 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i didnt want to take his money at all. i even told him theres no way i could accept it and he wouldnt take no for an answer. he even went out of his way and sent me more than i needed.
2006-11-30 03:32:37 · update #1
baby girl, change to be a better person, absolutely. but not for him; for yourself. if you want to continue relationship beyond friends, then don't accept any money from him. you want to get away from "big brother" mentality. get your life organize; be a better person. there is nothing wrong with that.
2006-11-30 03:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a question where you should change for him....you should change for yourself! Why dont you have a job your 18! For yourself you should get one! Even a part time after school job. Your going to have a rude awakening once your out of highschool if you dont take some responsibility. And some people struggle through highschool thats normal, just put your mind to it that your going to try even harder. And about a license well there must be a reason as to why you dont have one, like the cost? Well if you get the job you get the license. Even if you dont have a license, that's not the biggest deal cause there are always alternatives to that. But no job, thats the way of life you have to work to get money and you have to have money to live. Maybe if he see's that your stepping up the the adult plate, he may see you in a different light but basically its like he feels bad for you and see's you as a friend in need. Dont change for him, he doesnt seem to care, but girl you need to change for YOURSELF!
2006-11-30 11:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by roxygurl1307 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Changing for someone is a very big decision. It is not easy and it never will be. To be motivated comes from with in. It is a wise trate, but only you can find that in yourself. It couldn't be that. May be he just wants to finish college and get his life going. Don't be afraid to run on the ball with him, but your still in high school. So, there is only so much you can do. If your serious, then be a motivating person and try to understand that he's doing this for a better future. Once you graduate you can run with the ball and get your school going, it will be tough, but you can do it. Their are grants that give you money to go to school, so don't be afraid to persue it! I feel that he is special to you, but your not quite sure. I would hang on to him if I where you, but not to tight! He'll run. Keep your head up, you'll find your way!
2006-11-30 11:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by deadgrl6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you need to know what his feeling towards you are, whether they are or aren't in an intimate way. For not wanting to be with you for not being more motivated as he is, seems like a issue that wouldn't be serious enough to prevent a person from pursuing a relationship, besides you can learn to become more motivated in time, with his help.
2006-11-30 11:43:03 · answer #4 · answered by bj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One good advise i would give u is never underestimate yourself.
u r still young and have a long way to go. u will get ur license plus a good job. If tat guy truly likes u he likes u 4 wat u r right now.
Everyone has a tough time in high school. If u have problem with money u should try 4 a part time job. In tat way u will not only stand on your feet but also feel good abt urself.
Remember always talk to him directly abt ur fears. If he truly cares 4 u he will understand.
2006-11-30 12:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by cleopatra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got a great guy over there...
Don't change, be yourself, he had known you for 2yrs and he had love you and accepted you for who you are, he never demand or ask for anything in return... I totally understand your men... He just wants you to be happy and seeing you happy makes him feel more happier and satisfied. Don't feel guilty! though you are not as motivated as he is, I'm sure somehow you are trying the best you can give... And he simply understand you...
just be happy..
2006-11-30 11:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever seen him in person? I'm just saying, things may not be as they seem for him. You have to be careful when you're on here because you just never know. If he's interested in having a relationship with you, it won't matter that you don't have a job or anything right now. You definately should not change for anybody. Obviously he likes something about you or he wouldn't be your friend.
2006-11-30 11:32:46 · answer #7 · answered by mama3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont change for anyone but yourself! He sounds like a wonderful person who can teach you some great things if you are open to learning. You have to do what makes you happy. If you feel guilty you shouldn't take anything from him. Remember friendship is give and take. He might just love to talk to you. It doesn't have to have any underlying meaning. Don't question it just go with the flow.
2006-11-30 11:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get motivated for yourself and get a life and see if he is still as appealing.
Also, MEET HIM IN PUBLIC before you do anything commital with him.
Meeting people online is great, however when you meet people in person you often find you were thinking of them with rose colored glasses, ie. you fill in the parts you don't know about him with what you want to believe about him.
2006-11-30 11:23:18 · answer #9 · answered by Wyleeguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your 18 and in school so your going to change anyway when your finish your studies and have to get a job you fall in love with people for who they are not what you can make them.I personally wouldnt be excepting money off him if you need money to continue your studies you should get a part time job you need to be independant nobody wants to be with someone who they have to support financily all the time
2006-11-30 11:28:06 · answer #10 · answered by keevy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋