How much did your x try to manipulate you while negiotating your divorce.?

Question

I am pretty sure mine is trying like hell or her life really is terrible. Either way I don't feel all that bad.

Answer 1

My wife was good at manipulating me when I believed what she said. Now I don't put any value in anything she says and the funny thing is WE are happier.

A while back we seperated (she was having an affair). She said she wanted to be fair so I took the word "fair" to heart. She moved out so I took over all the house hold bills because I was using everything, but her student loans, her car payments were hers. We also consolidated our debt and she paid me half to which promptly paid. She had access on the internet to see it was paid every month and never late. So things seem fair right?

I don't need much free spending cash to get by so all the sudden I had more money than I needed. My wife however, had to pay a seperate rent and other bills so her cash flow was pretty low. She then said we should go into mediation and discuss child support. She already said that she didn't want allimony. Now I don't go into negotiations blind so I read up on child support. As we were waiting to meet the person who would mediate my wife & I she was telling my how money was so tight.

When we actually meet with the mediator I took charge saying that I just want to make sure what we were doing is "fair". Then I Iaid out how we had already divided up the bills and that my wife did not want allimony. The mediator agreed everything seemed fair. Now my wife brought up child support and restating she didn't want allimony. I then pulled out what I had learned that in the state I lived in child support was a simple mathematical calculation based on the percent of time each parent had the children. The look on my wife's face was priceless when I told her from what I found she would have to pay ME childsupport. My wife grabbed those papers so quick I almost laughed. The mediator glanced at them and said if the numbers where right then I was correct. The look on my wife's face was priceless and I think this was also the same time she started to realized that the fantasy life she was hoping to have was never going to happen.
I left the meeting feeling happy that my life could only get better. I continued seeing a few new friends with benefits for a six months or so and my wife found out that her lover was not as stable financially as she thought. We did get back together, but I always try to be fair.

Answer 2

Well, let's start with the lies about why she moved out. That lie manipulated me into feeling sorry for her, and not looking that she was having an affair.

So I spent months trying to cater to her, let her have our daughter most of the time, and I spent a lot of time working on myself, trying to be the best man, husband and father I could be.

What this sort of manipulation did was throw me off the track and also ended up setting the precident that the courts used for custody and parenting time.

Had I know she was having an affair, she wouldn't have over 50% of our daughters parenting time.

There was the telling me I was a horrible husband and father, but when I asked for specifics regarding what lead her to believe that, so that I could work on those issues, details were not forthcoming.

She even promised that once the divorce was final, she would provide a list of her "complaints" regarding me, so that I could be the best ex-husband and father I could be, since that was my stated goal. She was afraid to provide this information during the divorce because she was afraid I would use it against her.

So the primary manipulation tactic was withholding key information need to make rationale decisions and tugging on my heart strings, taking advantage of the fact that I really loved my now ex-wife, even if I didn't demonstrate that in her preferred method.

Answer 3

Mine did not do much as I told her that she could have the house, car etc. All I wanted was to remove a 150 lb. rock from around my neck at the time and do not feel bad that I ended up with nothing but the debts as I was that much lighter.

Answer 4

My ex is a lawyer and tried to bully me into accepting $600 a month in child support after 18 years and three kids (all under 17). He tried to keep the divorce postponed indefinitely. He tried to tell me all kinds of lies to cover himself financially. He wanted to do the divorce himself (to save money), but never would do it becuase I wanted to get married to someone else and he didn't have anyone. He tried to tell me that it was okay for me to marry my boyfriend even if we weren't legally divorced because he would get it done eventually. All this trouble after he was the one who wanted a divorce in the first place. He just wanted it on his terms and with me having no one to turn to and no where to go. He wasn't prepared for me to want to marry again within a year. He even refused to let me have my maiden name back pending my remarriage!

Answer 5

Uh I believe in commitment, yep we've had issues but 22 years with a best friend. That's what's it's about.
But uh ya she manipulates me every day.....

Answer 6

Just make sure if there are kids involved they are not put in the middle...it's between you and her not the kids...they are just causalities make sure they know it's not their fault.

Answer 7

A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Watch out and don't laugh. She will get her way.

Answer 8

There is no limit