i need relationship advice from someone mature and experienced?

Question

okay so me and my boyfriend live an hour away we are soooo busy with our lives that we barley get to see each other but when we do everything is fine...latley hes been acting like im not important anymore,,,hes been saying that im negative about everything and everyone...and when i tell him it feels like he doesntt love me he gets angry and says "ITS ANNOYING WHEN YOU ALWAYS WHINE" that really hurt i dont mean to push it on him but i feel like things are changing and not in a positive way he is a college student and i am trying to finish high school...we have been together two years!!! what am i doing wrong i dont mean to push it on him but before this things were great and i love him so much i just dont know what i am doing wrong to feel this way..help please

Answer 1

Maybe since you don't see eachother that often and when you do get to see eachother, he's tired of your negativity and whining. He probably would just like to spend some time with the girl he fell in love with. Try checking your attitude and outlook. Ask him to help you. Tell him when you begin to whine or speak negatively to let you know nicely. You should try to catch your self too since you aren't always together. No body wants to be with a whining downer!

Answer 2

Bottom line: he should NEVER get angry at you for letting him know how you feel. And it's not called "whining", it's called "communicating" which is vital to any relationship. If the love is mutual then he would have no problem discussing it. You are NOT an annoyance - you are his girlfriend!!! Long distance relationships can be tough so it takes more effort from both parties to make it work. I'm not going to tell you what to do either way, that's for you to decide. I just want to open your eyes to the signs that are already there. A good healthy relationship should make you feel secure and wanted and loved at ALL times. You should not have to question where you stand with him. I know you love him and it's hard enough already being an hour apart, but you deserve to be happy, without having any doubts. Only YOU can make you happy - don't rely on anyone else to do it for you because they will let you down everytime. He may even be saying these negative comments to you because he wants to end it and just doesn't know how to say it. So, instead of him being the one to call it quits, he's trying to push you to do it. Understand? Guys can play games like that - trust me, I KNOW! So, clear your head and decide what's best for YOU. Breaking up sucks, but time heals all wounds and you deserve to be treated with respect. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

The red flags are going up - you've got a problem!

First off, only being an hour away from each other isn't that much - and that neither of you are making time to see each other is a clear indicator that the relationship is over.

He's in college and you're still in high school means you have a lot of competition - there are so many more advantages for him to date a girl his own age then to hang around you.

Time to accept the fact that he's just not that into you and move on.

Answer 4

First of all, why do you feel YOUR doing something wrong? your acting how any woman would act when she notices her man is treating her different. Evidently, something has changed. You know him better then any of us would. Is he under stress? Is something bothering him? It could be many different things. I have been with my man for 4 years and we even have our ups and downs. My man is stressed about work and he doesn’t seen to be as into me. Then he goes back to normal. Men sometimes seem like they get PMS also…Is there anyway you two can meet for a couple hours? How often do you see each other? You need to talk to him in person and find out whats going on. I am not saying he met someone else but its always a possibility. He is obvoisly fed up with how your acting. Your saying he says your negative about everything. All I can say is you need to talk to him. Give him the option to tell you if his feelings have changed. If I were you(I can be a real *****…) I wouldn’t call him/text him/e-mail him for awhile…I know it will be hard but maybe he needs some time to himself…You have to show him you are strong and don’t need him. Then if he really cares, he will wonder “whats up with her, why isn’t she calling me or answering my calls”. Try it hun. Your young you have a lot to learn about relationships still.. Best of luck

Answer 5

You basically gave your own answer in the story...you're "always negative" and he hates it when you "whine". Sounds like you can fix the problem with a little attitude adjustment. You don't get to see each other very often as it is, so why be negative when you do get to see each other. No one likes to be around a negative, whiney person. Try to make your visits fun and upbeat. Instead of always worrying about what's wrong, try making it better yourself. I think if you do this you will see a positive change in him. The ball is in your court. Go see him and have fun this time. Don't always be so serious. It's the holiday season...get happy.

Answer 6

He's getting hung up on the college life. I've found that when guys do this, the are doing it because their guilty about something. Usually not being faithful.

If it is guilt, he will push it at you and maybe start making you think it is you, NOT HIM.

Why not try and take a break from each other until your out of high school? IF he's the one and you are ment to be together, he'll still be there when you've graduated.

Answer 7

I hate to tell you this, but: it's over.

You are feeling insecure. He is making it fairly clear to you that you are a convenience only or he just wants to have fun when you are together while you are getting this nagging feeling that something is amiss under that fun. I would suggest that you consider not being in an exclusive relationship anymore and to see other people

Long-distance relationships are VERY hard to sustain. And at your age, they are almost impossible because neither of you has the maturity to know what you want and to stick with that goal. And truthfully, you may not be what each other wants anymore -- very few people marry their high school sweetheart.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like he, is trying to push you away. College changes people and you are still in high school. He may be trying to slowly move away from your relationship. He doesn't want to break your heart, but he doesn't want to continue this either, so he is being negative with everything you say and do. Good luck sweetie, and please try to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Answer 9

If you have to walk away, do it. Sometimes its better that way. I would to calmly talk things out. Tell him that when he is ready to talk to you as an adult and not with hateful things, that you will be ready to do that. Until then, dont talk to you. You will not argue, name call, or have some silent war where there is always tension. Tell him that if he loves you, then he will want to work things out because you love him enough to do that.
I did this. After a week, he was willing to talk to me calmly. No name calling, no yelling, nothing. It was two people talking.
Just be ready to walk away if you have to. I know that you love him but if you arent happy, it wont work anyway and its years wasted.

Answer 10

I think that by you blaming your self is not helping you at all. You said that he has been telling you that you are negative about everyone & everything right? Well the way that he is sounding to me is that he is the one that is negative. It is understanding for you to be having doubts about your relationship with him. And instead of him shouting that out at you he should be talking with you and letting you know that he is having negative thoughts as well, instead of trying to get you to break it off with him.
Good Luck!