Spoiled Baby! What to do?

Question

Hello! I have a 4 month old Baby Boy who is in a weird spoiled stage. He cries like crazy if he is not picked up and carried. He is only calm if I have him in my arms. If I lay him down, or even sit down with him in my arms, he screams and won't stop crying. I don't want this to become a habit. What should I do? Just let him cry? Thanks!

Answer 1

ok, take a deep breath and then go out and get a copy of "The Baby whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. I know people hate being told to go and read a parenting book, but a stranger once told me about it when my daughter was doing the same thing to me (she wouldn't sleep alone at night either, only on my chest, i was sooo desperate to get some sleep, i asked my doctor what could be done, you know what he told me? oh, dont worry, she wont fall out of bed!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was not even the issue, how bout some peace for mom?!) so with nothing left to lose, i got the book, read the parts that pertained to my issues (and later went and finished the rest of it) i am not kidding, within 3 days i could sit her in a car seat, baby swing, a stroller, etc. with no problem at all , and she would sleep not only in her own crib, but the WHOLE WAY THROUGH THE NIGHT! It isn't any crazy new ideas that you have never heard of, its all common sense stuff that makes you realize that it was so easy all along.

Basically what you need to do is put your son down, when he crys, pick him up. BUT ONLY TILL HE STOPS CRYING. then set him down. you will go through this over and over and over. But beleive it or not eventually he realizes, "ok, so mom will pick me up if i cry but sets me down when i stop anyway, so whats the point?" and will learn to sit or lay by himself. the first two days are a pain in the butt, quite honestly. she also recommends you keep record of how many attempts, how long it took, etc. so you can visually see the progress you and the baby are making. it sounds tough, and it is. but with some patience and two days of staying home, it really is worth it in the long run. look at the flip side, 2days of hell, or a year of crying and holding a baby that is just getting heavier? i would get the book tho, she explains things much better than i did....

also, swings and bouncy seats are great, if the baby is calm and playful. but when you take a crying baby and place him in something that is moving and making music, has toys and bright colors and some even have lights now, it overstimulates him which can make his crying worse.

The ferber method can be useful, but there still alot of controversy around that as it is not fully understood by some. If you choose to do this, make sure you read on it fully so you can rest assured that you are doing it properly. However, this is not going to work for your case. First of all, your son is still too young for it, they do not reccomend trying it before 5 to 6 months of age, and it is a method that is used to teach your child to FALL ASLEEP on his own.

Answer 2

At 4 months old I do not think he is spoiled yet!. He has become so used of being held he is not comfortable anymore. If you are sure there is nothing wrong with him then get one of those "windup swings" or "jumper seats" that the child can be put in in an upright position. Place the "chair" in a position where you will be visible to the child but not exactly where you are. Continually talk to him while you do your work but keep the chair moving by the windup thing. Soon the child will realize he does not have to be in your arms to be with people and he will settle down and enjoy his freedom to move.
Good Luck. It will take a bit of patience on your part at this time. If he does not become used to being out of your arms now THEN you will be making a spoiled baby

Answer 3

First of all I would suggest taking him to his doctor, just to make sure there is nothing major wrong. More then likely he just has colic. Which can be very overwhelming on a parent. Try putting him in a swing or a vibrating bouncy chair or if he sleeps in the car just take a drive to give yourself a breather. Go have lunch through a drive through and take a you moment. If you have a grandparent, auntie, or some other relative close by, call in a favor, and ask them to come watch him for an hour or two. It may be that you need some time just to unwind and refocus, babies have a remarkable way of feeling our frustrations. It should not hurt him to let him cry for a few minutes if you need a time out. I have done this myself and taken 5-10 minutes to take a shower and then I can deal with them better. Good Luck it does go away, be patient, and remember to get as much you time as you can.

Answer 4

It is hard no to spoil a baby, but you really need to think about the future when picking that baby up for no reason. I have learned as you should from your baby what the baby needs. Let your baby cry if you can handle it. If the baby just needs a nap and the baby is used to rocking. Put him in the swing, if you have one. I never did. I just layed my baby down and left them cry them self's to sleep. You can go over and rub the baby's back every once in a while.

Also if you didn't see the Oprah show. she had a special on babies crying. I am planning to try with my new one.
They said that your baby is talking to you. They did say it is only up to about 3 months though, but worth a try.

If he says:

Nah- hungry

owh-sleepy

heh-discomfort

eair-lower gas

eh-burp

Good luck and wish you the best. Just work with your baby, The baby will get used to what ever you do.

Answer 5

He can't be spoiled if he is only 4 months old. Babies need to be held, and comforted. I know you can't actually hold him all the time, but don't let him sit there and scream. All you will be teaching him is that you aren't there for him. When a baby cries they are communicating if you ignore it you tell them that their attempt at communicating doesn't work.
Go over and let him know you hear him, give him a toy or something and let him know that you are there if he really needs you. I wouldn't let him cry longer than 10 minutes at that age.

Answer 6

Although many people think a baby held all the time will be spoiled, that is not the case. A baby needs comfort and security, and a lot of times that comes from you. Although you may not get much done, it's perfectly fine to hold your baby as much as you want, or as much as he wants. A couple years from now you'll miss this stage, trust me! Enjoy it while you can. Maybe also try a swing, my daughter loved hers. One with music is a plus. At this age, you are not spoiling him. You're just making sure he knows someone loves him and is there for him.

Answer 7

He may have colic or gas. What I would suggest is getting a bouncy seat. Put him in the seat, put a pacifier in his mouth, cover him with his blanket up to his cheeks but leave his mouth clear and rock. We treat fussy babies like that in the infant room at the daycare I work at. It works like a charm. Bouncing in a chair can be done with your foot so it works well.

He's not spoiled so much as very vocal with his wants and desires. You may want to bring it up with the pediatrician though because there may be more going on than just being spoiled. His formula may not agree with him, he may be hungry and not eating enough, it could be gas. Have him looked at. If the ped says he's ok, you may need to do the bouncy seat thing. The great thing is, if he passes out, you can leave him there to sleep since its like a little hammock anyway.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

My baby went through stages like that (and still does) it seems like he get more clingy when he's teething. I try to distract him with a toy while holding him, then I put him down and play for a while, usually he doesn't cry. Try to pay attention to when he does it. Is he hungry? Tired? Bored?
Remember - you can't spoil a baby that little!

Answer 9

Sorry to tell you you can not spoil a baby they need to be held and loved DO NOT let him cry that is the worst thing you can do. They simply need that attention sorry

Answer 10

As long as you are comfortable that there is nothing wrong with the baby, then I would place him in a comfortable place, his crib, his swing, etc. and stay within eye contact distance. Talk calmly to him and reassure him that you are not going anywhere. If he cries, let him cry. He will get it. It takes some patience on your part, but it really does work.

Good luck!