I'm going on the Jeremy Kyle show to find out the paternity of my kids, Keisha-Chantelle and Jayden-Jay. My ex and his new lass are going to be there, so what can I do to make me look better than them, should i wear all of my gold and wear my best tracksuit or should i smack her in the face as she comes on the stage so that she has to sit there with a black eye?
2006-11-30 03:04:31 · 38 answers · asked by ♥Tallulah♥ 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Television
dont ferget to wear yer 16 inch gold hoop earings(seventeen in each ear) and yer fingerless gloves (white leather of course) and if you can, wear the stockings with the holes in em god they will love you and with any luck he will get jealous and want yer back, so at least one of yer kids will have their daddy back. Then all you have to do is ring his "bruvver" and tell him to move in and hey presto both daddies are around to swill stella artois and beat you.
you lucky fcuker you
2006-11-30 04:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by t00t5 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't smack her in the face. You'll look better by being cool and aloof. Otherewise you'll be remembered as the psycho who lost it, and she the victim, and the ex smirking away to himself. I've been in the audience on the Jeremy Kyle Show, and it takes around 2 hours to film. So the show doesn't really flow the way it appears on TV. Also, you'll find the show is really about Jeremy Kyle, the guests are just an addition to the format, unlike Jerry Springer, where the guests were definitely what the show was about. When she comes on stage, just look her up and down and look away with contempt, and leave it at that. She is going to be in the same situation as you at a later date anyway.
2006-11-30 03:28:38 · answer #2 · answered by Loraine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go bling girl!! Get that tracksuit on with all your gold. Then smack her in the face as well cos she obviously has everything to do with the paternity test so she deserves it. As for your fella you should knee him in the balls to prevent him from getting his new lass knocked up.
Then you should answer Jeremy Kyle back and get him to call you a useless waste of space and a throughly enjoyable show will be seen by all!!
2006-11-30 03:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by zanoshi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look Tallulah, stop tellin everyone I is goin on da TV wiv ya. I ain't! I would neva put Chardonnay Christelle (the new bird) through all that. Any way, me corsa is in havin the spoiler lowered by an inch as I clipped a motorway bridge yesterday so I can't get there.
And I want all that gold back ya slappa! You only went out wiv me cos I worked in Elizabeth Duke and I could nick more gold than yer could wear!
2006-11-30 03:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dancin Clown 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
additionally why did her daughter call her "the terrific mum interior the international" ? understanding that her mom enable her granddaughter die by using letting the dogs into the domicile! besides, why could all of us go away their toddler with an irresponsible fool like that, whilst she'd taken drugs and had alcohol! Why have a dogs like that besides and take the prospect of it ever getting close to the little woman, incredibly whilst it attacked a neighbour no longer long previously? there is numerous questions and as quickly as extra somebody else slips in the time of the internet, and isn't any longer secure by using social centers!
2016-10-13 10:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by rosen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look Tallulah, stop tellin everone I is goin on da TV wiv ya. I ain't! I would neva put Chardonnay Christelle (the new bird) through all that. Any way, me corsa is in havin the spoiler lowered by an inch as I clipped a motorway bridge yesterday so I can't get there.
And I want all that gold back ya slappa! You only went out wiv me cos I worked in Elizabeth Duke and I could nick more gold than yer could wear!
2006-11-30 03:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lord of the Sovereign Ring 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wear your nice pink trackie, but zip the top down so they can see the new red rose tattoo on your left boob. Make sure your hair is a nice unwashed shade of light orange and the roots are down to your ears. Tie it up in the highest pony tail ever so that it makes your eyes look oriental, but it'll be ok cos you'll have four inches of eye liner on. Ask Jeremy to bring you out after the show for a few pints of snake bite and pork scratchings. that'll surely wind your ex-bloke up no end. If he says no, smack him, smack your ex and scratch the bitches eyes out. But most of all, enjoy it. You're gonna be a celebrity innit
2006-11-30 03:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by oif1983 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd go retro if I were you and try a nice purple Shell Suit and white stilletoes, just to give you that little bit of class. You can also take a white handbag with that. After you've smacked her in the mouth you can swing the bag at Jeremy Kyle and hopefully render him unconscious with the brick you previously hid inside it!
2006-11-30 04:05:46 · answer #8 · answered by earnshaw2002 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be the better person you simply state you point, which is the paternity of your children. after that you do not engage with them, even if they say something that winds you up. If you sit there and just be like I have said what I have to say and what you say is crap so I ain't listening (or pull a catherine tate and say I AINT BOVERED). After that ignore them. You will look like the better person and the audience will side with you.
If you come out all guns blazing I doubt you will gain the audiences sympathy or jeremy kyles either.
2006-11-30 03:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by greenhorse8179 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Smack me in the face??? Are you havin a laugh or what? Darren is mine an so is this Dancin clown! Those kids aint his anyways hes got Levi an Jago to look after now yer the one whos gonna look like a mug! Go an find yer own bloke as fer yer outfit you'll never look as good as me in me catsuit an white patent wedges!
2006-11-30 08:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by Pork_Purse 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The tracksuit is OK if you're over 15 stone. Otherwise, stick to the little denim skirt and the bright orange tan.
2006-11-30 03:07:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋