no Friends?

Question

I am 38 yr old mother of 2 happily married to a wonderful guy but i have no friends. I have always struggled with my self esteem (paritally due to an undiganosed learning disability) my self steem was further battered when my now ex husband started hitting on the few female friends i did have (he is now married to one). so i left him and moved 150 miles away to a small town where unless you been here all your life you are an outsider. I have never had a best friend and dont know how to start to make friends i always feel so awkward and usually end up putting my foot in it. most of the time im ok but sometimes i wish i had some friends.
I dont want my lack of self confience to affect my daughter but i am scared that she is following my example.

My daughter(who is 11) wants me to throw a new years eve party but i simply dont know anybody well enough to invite them. i dont socialise with any of the other parents from her school which only leaves my next door neighbour who i am sure will have her own plans

i live in the uk and whilst i am articulate and intelligent and know exactly what my problem is i am always hampered by my fear of failure/making a complete fool of myself. it completely paralises me especially in social situation

tonight there is a parents/friends meeting for my daughters sea cadet unit but again im scared of going incase i make sum dreadful faux pas

Answer 1

You certainally are no mope. I applaud you for overcoming these hurdles in your life and having the brains and common sense to advance forward with your life.
You have self esteem. You need to have your ovaries turn to brass and get out there and start socializing. You don't sound stupid so I don't think that communication is any problem. You have superb diction and can piece together sentences whereas most of the mooks here can't and wouldn't be able to if their life depended upon it.
You have what it takes deep inside you. Its an adult world. its not kids. people don't laugh at you. If they are the type that does...well...we know that they are the poor, uneducated cretins of the world who have no chance in life other than to serve us at the drive through or pump gasoline into your $35,000 car. The world needs ditch-diggers too baby. Aren't you glad that you aren't one? Try doing some volunteer work at a local library. Most if not all of the people who work there would be right on your level. I think you'll find plenty of friends there.
You'll have all the support you need from your husband too I would imagine. Bring the kid to the library too. It'll help her along and she'll mingle as well.
As far as the ex-husband goes....sshhhh..c'mere...I'll tell you something. Unbeknownst to you he secretly enjoyed getting dressed up in woman's clothing and attending transvestite conventions in Vegas. This is where he met your ex-friend. She is actually a "he" that received a sex change operation in Mexico back in '97. They may seem like a happy couple but deep down they're both unhappy.
But what do you care? You're rid of the bum right? So...good luck and I have a sneaking suspicion you'll do superb!

Answer 2

i have been in your shoes. I'm 22 and a mother of one and had very low self esteem. I had friends until my husband and i moved 2 hours away to a town similar to the one you live in. I didnt meet my now new best friend until i started working and we met through work. I'm starting to meet new people i've kind of had to break my shell a little. I talk to everyone now. Just go up to some of the mothers at school while your waiting to pick up your kids and just start a conversation say how are you today, wich kid is yours?then say were thinking of throwing a new years eve party for some of the kids and parents at my hosue we would love to invite you guys if your interested just tell them your new and are trying to meet new friends.it will work i promise and if you ever just need to talk to someone you can email me anytime i'll be your friend. i know its not the same but i will. [e-mail] my name is trista

Answer 3

I had the same situation we moved to a small town, where everybody knows everybody, and have two small children and my husband didn't understand b/c he works so he has instant friends, so we joined a local church and a Sunday school class there and I got really involved and now I have a ton of friends!

Answer 4

1st I'll be your friend email me at [e-mail]

2nd Invite her friends and their parents kinda a family party thing, put on the invite, " I wanted a party and my daughter wanted a party so we're throwing a family party. Your whole family is invited" A lot of parents should like this cause they won't have to find a babysitter and you can meet people who come.

Answer 5

omg i understand what your saying i am married mom of 2 children i am the same way i am way to shy we moved to my husband home town and unless you grew up here they do not like you i have made 2 friends here but they end up being the wrong kind of friends so i end the friendship i am a stay at home mom so it get kinda lonely you can email me anytime [e-mail]

Answer 6

Umm my proper acquaintances certain, yet even although that i appreciate the females I dangle out with, I wouldn't completely have self belief them. It sounds terrible yet i comprehend for a incontrovertible fact that they in certain situations gossip about one yet another. both way is say I have some acquaintances who're both honest climate acquaintances and some who're like sisters to me.

Answer 7

hi i can be your friend if you want
Hi again you can get my mail [e-mail]

Answer 8

i am so sorry. I will be your friend. i lve in pensacola florida